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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 5,924
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Posts: 5,924 |
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named "Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass on I!.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 684
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 684 |
A Medical Warning
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim ( pronounced "gonna re-elect him" "). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive symptoms of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only few years ago in a Texas bush.
I'm not Belonging to Nowhere anymore! :-)
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,775
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Gotta love W...he's provided so much laughter.
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 451
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Joined: Feb 2006
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LOL!! Love it.
It's funny,I posted a long time ago some stuff about Bush,whom I cannot stand (and it's only validated my feelings after we Dems retook the house and senate)and I got a resounding slam for it.Some people are just so touchy about politics... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 464
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 464 |
Personally, I think people are to sensitive when it comes to politics.
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