After nearly a year of a nearly perfect Plan B, my heart and mind, as they say, are pretty much in sync. Although my preference would be reconciliation, I am also being realistic. It has been nearly 3 years and the possibility of that happening is slim to none at this point.
Anyway, I recently have "transitioned" out of Plan B and made a few pretty friendly but kind of awkward contacts with WH, until I brought up finalizing the divorce...now he is apparently Plan B'ing me. What is up with that?
Anway, last week I sent him an em and vm about xmas gifts for the kids. They had sent lists and I just wanted to know what he was getting so we didn't duplicate gifts. I never heard anything from him.
So..I have drafted this to send him. I guess it kind of quaifies as a 180...except that everything I say is 99.9% true. Just looking for some opinions. I think I may be laying on a bit thick..and want to avoid DJ's if possible.
WH, since I didn't hear from you I played it safe with xmas gifts. I tried to get most of it done today. <insert list of xmas gifts>
You are apparently avoiding me for whatever reason...don't really understand why...thought this is what you wanted...for me to get past my anger, get on with my life and be willing to have a civil relationship with you. I thought you would be relieved that I had finally gotten there...but whatever...WH, at some point we are going to have to make arrangements to get the divorce final. We all need closure on this. I know I do and the kids do...and I bet even OW would appreciate having things final (not that I worry too much about her <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />) . I don't really understand your reluctance. I figured you would pleased to have it done and over with so we can both get on with our lives. I know I will be. For the most part, I am pretty content with how my life is. I like my job, things are okay with the kids. Not perfect, but about as good as can be expected with teenagers in this situation. I have found a small but really great group of supportive friends, physically and emotionally I feel better than I have in years and most importantly I continue to grow spiritually. But I do confess, I am getting to the point that I want more and am ready to start looking for other relationships. For a long time, despite a couple of opportunities, the thought of becoming involved with someone else wasn't very appealing. I felt like I was out of the frying pan and had no desire to jump into the fire. But that is beginning to change and I can see myself one day soon wanting to commit to a long term healthy relationship. You have apparently found that with OW, and I would hope that you would not deny me the same opportunity, especially when it only requires you to do something you want to do anyway.
I know that you have said you haven't pursued getting things final because you can't afford it...but I believe that if you think about it, you will realize that doesn't make much sense considering settling would mean that financially nothing will really change.(I have offered several times to settle for our current arrangement) If you want to try and work things out outside of court, I am available and ready to have an honest, civil discussion. If not, then I am just as prepared to go to court. It is your call.
In the meantime, please let me know what your plans are for the kids visiting on their winter break. As it is a big travel time of the year you will probably need to make reservations early. Some people from work are trying to get a group together to go skiing in WV over the New Years weekend. I might want to go if it doesn't interfere with getting them home.
