Broke up with B in June and no contact since, except short note from him when returning some items. I am asking what makes the choice for you, whether to stay in touch with an ex or not. It seems some couple continue to talk, email, etc while others make a clean break never to speak again. B was such a huge part of my life and that of my children; while I am healing, not a day goes by that I don't miss him or think of him. Why does it have to be this way???

I think it's easier to stay in touch when there's not so much feeling and history. If he didn't mean so much to you, you could talk without hurting. I learned this the hard way when I was in my late teens, early twenties.

When we meet people and stay with them for a long time. We become invested in that person. Breaking away can be very painful. I would not stay in contact because of the way I felt for that person and knowing that they can no longer return my Affections. This can only cause me more pain, so no I would not want to stay in contact. Seeing them with someone else would hurt so much. Sorry but you didn't state why you two broke it off?

jasminelady, I was wondering why you broke up, too.

I agree with both of the responses you've already received. I dated a guy for 3 years without strong feelings on either side. It lasted so long, from my perspective, because I was still married with no contact with XH, I was unwilling to date anyone else until I was Dv'd, and I didn't want to be alone. 1 1/2 years later, he and I are still friends.

On the other hand, I dated a guy this summer I really thought might be "the one" who dumped me after getting back together with his XGF (and then marrying her a month later!) and, like you, I still think about him every day, but I've maintained NC with him. NC really helped my healing after my XH left. I didn't think I could be "just friends" with XH then and I don't think I could be "just friends" with XBF now. Not only that, but his W is extremely jealous so it's not even a possibility.