Hi I just discovered this site and im hoping that someone can read this and give me an objective point of view. Well to give you guys a little background I've been with my spouse for 11 years and we have 4 kids together. when I was pregnant with the our last child he decided that he didnt want to be with me anymore so he decided it was over. We continued to live together and take care of our kids but it was horrible for me. This went on for about a year and then he decided that he wanted to be with me again and he decided to give it another try. So when we got back together things were better than ever and I had decided that I wanted to be in a threesome with him (which by the way was the biggest mistake of my life). So he claimed he found someone and that he explained to them the situation and they were ok with it. So we did this and I told him that was it for me and I didnt want to see this girl or do this again. He told me he was going to be doing some business with this girl and that I didnt have to worry about anything. Well as time had gone by I noticed that he was never home, coming home with blonde hair all over him and things just didnt seem right. Well one day I took his video camera that I bought him as a gift and looked at the memory on it and was shocked to find that he had been not only having sex with this girl but taping it. I was horrified!!!! He finally told me that he had some business to do with her and it was the only way to make her happy, I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Then he just started denying he was even seeing or talking to her and every so often I would always found out that he was and we would be back to square one. Ive gotten to the point that I dont know how I have survived that past 3 years living like this but it wasnt until a couple of days ago that I realized that I cant keep my cool for much longer. I had come right out and asked him how did he really meet this girl because the way he told me just never made since and he finally came out and told me that he had actually slept with her before he had bought her home for the threesome. Im so upset I dont know what to do. I feel so humiliated and hurt that I cant control it anymore. When he was confessing he was very hesitant to tell me because he said he didnt want to hurt my feelings but I insisted that I could take it and he told me the truth. Now I can't stop crying, function or look at him without hurting inside and most of all I feel as if I cant express my feelings or get upset because I told him I wouldn't. So I guess what im trying to say here is im hurt, confused and upset and I dont know how to react, what to say or do next. Please someone give me your comments I could use them.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a GREAT place to be under the circumstances.

If things were "better than ever", I'm wondering what made you decide that you wanted to be in a 3-some with him? Or were you trying to make him happy? Anyway, 3-somes are almost always disasterous to the marriage.