about six months ago my wife out of the blue tells me that she wants to move out of our place. I understood why at the time but I tought that she would want me to move me in with her, but I was wrong. SHe wanted to have her mother in with her so I didn't hthink anything of it but she didn't want me to live with her. She would come over only when she waned sex or to nag at me about how lazy I am. Any way I started chatting with an old girlfriend online and she became upset and I did too so I told her that if she wanted a divorce I would get the papers. She told me to get them and we went through them together. I tried to hint that I didn't want the damn thing but she was sure I had someone else (even though she lives over 1200 miles away). So she went online and found someone and slept with him. SHe also moved him in right away. Apparently he hss money from an accident from when he was a kid. SHe has been comming over to drop off our daughter with fresh hickeys. I am hurt and I son't know what to do anymore. Everytime I talk to her I want to tell her how I feel about the situation and that I don't want the divorce, but she tells me that she is to happy with her new boyfriend to work us out. I want to move on but I want to work my marrige out. I am so confused and don't know what to do. SOmetimes I feel like hurting myself, but I have two kids..... So I guess I need advice....

Hi Abraham.

I'm very sorry about the circumstances that brought you here.

Could you give us a little more information?

How long have you been married? How old are your children? Is the OM married - does he have kids?

Alph.

Seek 100% custody of your child. Get some good IC support, get into a solid plan A, then plan B ASAP.

Any mother who can display hickies around a child has already done more damage you don't know about. Think of what your child is being exposed to.

Forget saving the M for now, save your child instead.

Secure your finances and separate yourself from the beast she has become.

Know both the WS and OM are selfish and in time, they will destroy each other. You need to pray for a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience.

take care,

L.

Abraham..

if you are truly here for help then you have to come clean and honest...

explain how a wife says I'm moving out and you as the husband say OK...

explain what you mean by I understood why she wanted to move out...

why Abraham
why did she want to move and why did you understand that...

explain WHAT your plan was after she moved out..
divorce?
dating others

what about your daughter NEEDING a father
what about your wife NEEDING a husband...

was that ever in your plan....


where did you think your marriage was going....

what did you two talk about...

did you say hey if it's so bad you want to move out lets get counseling...

explain to me how this happened.....

how abraham...
why did your wife come home one day and say that she wants to move out...
and you reply..

OK....

that's the only way to even begin to fix this..
by getting real and honest and dealing with your side of the street....

you gotta face the reality..

these things DO NOT just happen..

people who are communicating and living and loving together do not come home and say out of the blue I want to move out....

what was really going on in your marriage that caused this..

ARK