Look, you have got to quit being a victim and take a stand.

Get on the phone and expose- call everyone and anyone and tell them you want to save your marriage. Talk to your mother in law again- Surely after seeing your pain since he left yesterday she has to be a little mnore sympathetic to you.

I think you need to call your counselor and work through this anger at the OW,

I am not trying to be mean, but you need to take some action. Sitting around crying is getting you no where.

GO EXPOSE: MIL, BIL and SIL, Call his boss at the office since you know him- EXPOSE, EXPOSE, EXPOSE.

I know you are afraid, but if you keep on like you are now, you are only hurting your chances instead of helping them.

You have become a doormat.

I think you need to get up and make those phone calls, pack up and head home.

I think you might need to prepare yourself that he left you in another town to move out.

If that is what has happened, then stay calm. Get on here and post and we will help you adjust your plan.

Expose- call your counselor and quit talking about killing anyone.

I, obviously, don't know how to change my subject line on the Main Index to get people to reply to my messages. I'm too depressed and frustrated today to try and figure it out.

ok, don't sweat it.

just thought it would help you get noticed- but your other thread is getting noticed.

you ok?

You've got mail <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi IP,

So glad to know you're okay hon.

Listen, you're not alone in this. Most the folks here have felt as you do sometime throughout their ordeal. Its one of the most devistating life altering situations one can go through. Some claim worse than death of a loved one.

Can you make an appt to see your PC physician on Monday to get anti-deps? Your need to take AD is temporary and for situational depression. You need them to get through this.

Prayers for you,
Jo

IP...

If you want to change your subject line, you just go to the first post on the thread and edit it...I understand not knowing how to do that, it took me a bit to figure it out too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

More importantly, how are YOU??? Did you call that hotline? Listen, Mr. W and I would be more than glad to talk to you and listen...You are MORE than welcome to email us at the addy in my signature...We have free nationwide long distance and would call you anytime...

Also, could you download Yahoo Messenger on your computer? Many of us chat there and would be glad to talk to you that way as well...Here is the link to download it~~~>Yahoo Messenger Just email me your i.d....

Mrs. W

When u r ready, go to the 1st post of the thread you want to change the subject line on and edit on that post.

I have put my cell # on your other thread. Did you get it?

L.

in_pain ~

I know alot of people here are offering their support and sympathy, but I'm gonna jump in anyways...

I know it seems hopeless right now ~ but I'm praying for you, that any minute now something in you is going to click and you're gonna realize that doing NOTHING is not only getting you nowhere, and fast, but more importantly, that doing SOMETHING is not only gonna help you start trying to recover your M., BUT IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TOO!!! Hard to believe, but you're gonna feel like you have some control again; you HAVE to decide to be proactive in this sitch; your WH is all fogged out; he can't think straight and he NEEDS you to do it for him...yes, that's right....he doesn't even know it right now, but he NEEDS you to do this FOR HIM.

If your marriage survives, and most do, he will one day thank you for being strong and proactive and fighting for him....

I know, because I felt as bad as you, and just a few weeks ago, my FWH thanked me for fighting so hard for us.

Come on, my friend...start doing what everyone here is telling you to: call a good friend, sibling, whatever ask them to come over to be with you and support you while you START EXPOSING, now. Not only is that going to really kick the affair into the "beginning of the end", but you will also find some more support, which you need.

I know you're worried it's gonna bring them closer: it will be temporary. Once exposed, affairs don't last...they crumble; they're no fun once everybody sees and tells them how slimy they're being.

So, do you wanna end this thing? I know you do....start exposing, ok?

Go back and read some of those posts on exposing...and then come here and start posting, asking questions, and getting support. You're spinning your wheels by doing nothing by crying.

IT'S UP TO YOU TO HELP END THIS AFFAIR!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

And everyone here will help you, ok? Just keep posting on your progress, and the fine people here at MB will guide you.

We're rooting for you!!

~MF

Reading your posts makes me remember how painful the whole thing was. Hang in there - the chances of him coming back to the marriage are excellent.

Mine didn't come back soon enough. Now the affair is over, but I don't want him anymore.

moveforward:

I have been trying to e-mail you all day. Either something is going on with my Dad's computer or hotmail is acting up. It won't let me write a message and send it???? I can read messages, but I can't send them.

I want to send out a general message and thank all of you for responding. It at least lets me know that I am not totally alone. I'm going to post this on my other thread too.

I am getting very close to doing some exposing. Is it okay that I don't do all of the exposing at the same time? I want to call people today, but I also want to put a memo on everyone's desk at work. Everyone at his work knows about the affair, but my husband and the OW don't know that they know. In order to pull that off, I'm going to have to take his office key in the middle of the night and do it. That probably won't happen until Monday night. On the memo, I was just going to put: ______________________is having an affair with _________________________. I was going to put it on everyone's desk, the lunch room, soda machines, bathrooms, etc....

Another thing that concerns me about exposure is that I don't think anyone is going to say anything to either one of them. People consider it none of their business.

hey I can call you - post your number here and I will write it down then you can delete it

Do you really think so believer?


[quote]Reading your posts makes me remember how painful the whole thing was. Hang in there - the chances of him coming back to the marriage are excellent.

hey you need to do it as much at the same time as possible.

Do not do it annonymously - send emails to the boss and everyone else you want to send to.


You have to tell them you want to save your marriage- ask for their help in breaking them up.

Have you exposed to your BIL and SIL?

Have you called her parents?

Get after it.

moveforward:

I have no idea how to delete information!! I will call you on your number that I have in my hotmail account and we'll exchange numbers okay?

ok

Good girl!

Place one on your H and OW's desk as well.

hey moveforward...you made this response to one of my posts, not sure if that was your intent or not...if it was, it didn't come through....did you send it to marriedforever2006@yahoo.com ?

If that wasn't your intent, no worries... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


~MF

It's not enough just to say "___ is having an affair w/____" because the purpose of exposure is to solicit other people's help in breaking up the affair and saving your marriage. You need to be doing the exposure from a motivation of saving your marriage - exposure isn't an end in itself - it is a *means* to an end (saving your marraige). The letter doesn't have to be long, but it does need to state your purpose and ask for their help.