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Clarify Plan B - how do I handle kid transfer?
#1772451 11/23/06 03:27 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
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CADreamin
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CADreamin
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I'm putting my plan together for Plan B. My problem is, we just moved (in hopes of a new beginning) and I know no one here. So how can I possibly establish no contact with my WH when we have a 5 year old daughter?

Also, he's doing a lot of fishing to determine how good it could be being divorced from me...the financial arrangement, how we could work together for our daughter, etc. How do I deflect, or do I deflect those conversations? We're on the brink of separation, he won't be inconvenienced to leave the house - I have to with my 5 year old. We have discussed terms, etc which seemed necessary.

How do I protect myself, do best by my daughter, establish boundaries, yet leave room for reconciliation should he end his affair?
Re: Clarify Plan B - how do I handle kid transfer?
CADreamin #1772452 11/23/06 03:30 AM
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Orchid Offline
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Can you move back to there you do have family support? Is the law really on his side?

L.
Re: Clarify Plan B - how do I handle kid transfer?
Orchid #1772453 11/23/06 03:32 AM
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CADreamin
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CADreamin
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I think it best to remain here and not move back. And legally, I think I'm actually in the driver seat. His questions I believe are based more on an emotional level on which will be harder, staying with me or being divorced from me.
Re: Clarify Plan B - how do I handle kid transfer?
CADreamin #1772454 11/23/06 11:33 AM
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Island of Misfit Toys, AZ, USA
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Mulan Offline
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Mulan
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Just tell him you do not do divorce - you only do marriage. Make him do all the heavy lifting and all the dirty work when it comes to dismantling your family. Make it clear that you will not help him.

He is fishing because he wants you to be his friend and make this easy and let him feel that he hasn't really hurt anybody and has nothing to feel guilty about.

Don't give this to him. Protect yourself legally, but if you don't want a divorce then don't lift a finger to help him get one.
Mulan

Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
Re: Clarify Plan B - how do I handle kid transfer?
Mulan #1772455 11/23/06 11:45 AM
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Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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How long have you been in Plan A? I would read as much as you can here and get educated in Marriage Builders principles and the dynamics of affairs before you even think about Plan B.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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