Here's a clue...... terrorists can't laugh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

What u say? Here's a clue...... terrorists can't laugh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

That's right, those who display that weird attitude we see intertwined in those of a WS type or even more drastic terrorist type attitude, can't laugh. To be happy goes against their grain.

Therein lies the key. When someone displaying that 'type' of disposition gets in your way or trys to upset your day. Tell 'em to laugh. Laugh with 'em.....

Bullies can't really laugh at a good clean joke. They just can't because their bully attitude won't let them.

Be empowered and know what tools can undermine the most stupid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

JMHO,
L.

OMG! L you have NAILED it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Dork has never once! laughed since this started. Not even a smile. And DD and I have moments of pure joy every day. Even with all the pain, our conscience is clear.

We are thankful that we have our integrity and our values intact. And DOrk has nothing but a skanky DP and his lies and betrayals. So how could he smile? THere is no pride in his actions. There is no honour or integrity.

When ppl say the WS affair-down it is not just the A ppl they associate with. It is the lowering of their expectations of themselves and the demolition of their own selves.

ABSOLUTELY!!! Well put, FAA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Very proud of how you have grown away from being a BS and reclaiming your life. Very proud. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I am hoping other BS' see this and use this tool to help them heal. That way when the WS should interact, the BS and family will know HOW to act and react. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Btw, out of the 50 or so that have viewed this thread, you are the 1st to respond. Howz that for NOT being a conflict avoider!??!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Oh. THAT kind of terrorist.


I think this should be included on the list of How to Tell If Your Spouse Is Cheating.

Orchid - I think you have something here. One of the things I first loved about my WH was how he was always laughing. Haven't seen him laugh in almost 4 years.

Terrorists who 'terrorize' those they know and those they don't know are still terrorist. Least in my dictionary. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The sad piece is waay back when I was dealing with my WS, the horrible thought came across to me that he mimicked the actions of a terrorist. I had spoken to a few of the terrorist kind a few years prior and seen their mindset. While I never saw those young students in the news, I saw their mindset and could easily identify them with the terrorists of today. Stupid people.

I recall one guy who claimed he was a terrorist the 1st year I met him, saying he was sent to this country (yea he was from the middle east....no prejudice but all the ones I met were from there, just made me wonder).....anyway.....he claimed he was sent to this country to get an education so he could go fight the enemy (which he also identified as the country to where he came t/b educated - what kind of babble is that?!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Anyway..... I saw him again 2 years later. He had finished his schooling and was WORKING..... I asked him about our last discussion and if he still had the same goals (being a terrorist). He said no, after his studies he realized making $$ helped him buy what he wanted and needed in life and then said he preferred to be a captialist. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I laughed and said, both sides have their negative points and that while I was glad he no longer wanted to harm people, he needs to make sure he doesn't harm himself and others while he is striving t/b a captialist. LOL!!! At that point, I left and never saw him again. I was on a volunteer educational work at the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, when I reflected that experience when my WS was being an [censored], I could see some similarities. Not many wanted to think their spouses c/b anything closely resemebling a terrorist but most could contend that their WS' had or were terrorizing the BS and family.

That was a huge wake up call for me. Through the years I was able to see more clearly the mindset of the WS and then know how to avoid some of the pitfalls and traps laid out by their warped minds. It is a scary place t/b.

Funny how you don't see many old terrorists?!?!? What's the life expectancy of that job?!?!?! Maybe they avoid that subject in their training schools? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Btw, another antic tied to the terrorist I have noticed and to the WS is their need to jump around or show their frustration. You know like when a WS blows up, when the BS hits a nerve? Or when the WS storms out of the house or in some cases jumps up and down like they are having a tantrum because the BS uncovered something? Hm..... WS reflexes at work or a dysfunction in their brain? Hm..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Just an observation.

L.

ROFLMAO

Now that hit home.

Examples:

1. After the first IC session over a year ago, we were havign a calm (So I thought) discussion in the drive back to my house. I asked him what his thoughts were on something the IC had said. He FREAKED and literally jumped out of the car!. NOw my first reaction was to let him be. I mean it was only a 40 mile walk back to the ferry. Sadly I did drive aorund and pick him up.
2. He was at my house and I aksed him another one of those unaswerable questions I guess. He started to rage at me and literally jumped up and down. And THEN RAN not walked RAN out of the house.
3. NOw it is limited to our phone conversations. If I ask him a threatening question like "Dork WHEN are you seeing you lawyer?" Or "Dork, WHEN will you reply to DDs email?" He ALWAYS says I am NOT TELLING you and you CAN"T MAKE ME. ANd then hangs up!

I want to SPANK him, ROFL, Or send him to a corner. And the ANGER and the childishness seems to be in proportion to the guiltier he feels the more ANGRY and CHILDISH he becomes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So u see the similarity 2!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

When I introduced this thought a few years ago, I think it offended a few BS'. They couldn't conceive their spouses w/b compared to a terrorist. Little did we all know how aligned the alien beast is to the terrorist. The WS in them fooled many but not for long.

That is why uncovering the weaknesses includes exposure and NOT allowing the WS to bolly the family. Give 'em back their guilt. C/b as simple as a look, a 'hmmmmm' or a short retort.

I say, keep the WS' head spinning. That way it is easier to step out of their way. They are already spinning out of control and we do NOT have to be targets.

L.

Yes, very sadly, I DO see the similarities. And I would guess when the BS hear the compariosn it IS hard to take. If for no other reason than that is a hard one to swallow about your supposed partner and your mate. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I think that denial is an automatic reaction becasue when you accept that your WS does has similarities to a terrorist, you begin to question your own relaity. THat is WHAT have you missed? WHY didn't you see the signs?

THe anger is rooted in fear imho.