My suggestion would be he visit with his children either at a hotel or at his parents.

In the meantime go do a through background search on the OW. See if it warrants getting legal restrictions from having her around your children. A single DUI may help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanx Orchid!
It's nice to know I'm not the only night hawk <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I had suggested the above, but he wants to have his DDs see him at his own place. It's not a matter of just having sleepovers w/ them, but for my WH it is about his DDs seeing him in his new life. They have no idea where Daddy is right now, so he wants to alleviate any concerns they have about where he is lying his head at night, by having them w/ him from time to time. I agree w/ him on that point, as I can see my DD6 asking questions lately about how Daddy gets home or comes over (sometimes down the block by the OW). I as well want to decrease any anxiety she may have....I don't want her worrying, but I by no means want the alternative either.

I am at a loss on what can be done, tho I like the idea of checking the OWs background. What is a "DUI"?

Hopefully there would be something about her, but from what I know of her, most likely not.

Thanx again.

Most of this thread happened before my separation, but I just went through one in Ontario and I've learned a lot about our legal system. First off, the separation agreement is pretty much what a divorce in any other country is, except that a divorce is still required if you want to get remarried (did that make sense?). SAs can be negotiated between the 2 STBXS's in any form that can be agreed upon. If they can't agree, the courts will divide all assets 50/50 regardless of adultery, abuse or whatever. If you can get your WH to voluntarily sign an SA that states the children will not be exposed to OW, it is a legally enforcable document.

As far as custody issues go, my own DS is grown, but my OW and OWH have a 6 yo DD who they are currently battling over custody of. In their case, they signed an SA that said they had shared custody but that DD would reside with OW (his WW), who moved in immediately with my WH. This was before she started the process of completely replacing OWH with my WH as father figure (tried to get him of the school contact list and now has bought a house with OW in another city). OWH is taking her to court and the only thing that really gives him a fighting chance is that, since the separation, he has had DD for approximately 40% of the time. Judges try to rule in a way that has the least negative impact on the child possible. Part of that is maintaining any current arrangement that the child has become accustomed to. Basically, that means that if you have had sole residency of your DDs all this time, you are likely to be awarded primary custody by a judge. Note: residency and custody are not the same thing - you could end up with primary residency and joint custody (where WH gets to participate in major decisions).

As far as contact between the OP and COM, I have no idea where the courts here stand on it. At one point I asked my lawyer about what the impact on OWH/OW's custody battle might be if *I* filed for D and checked the adultery box and put OW's name on it. He said it would make absolutely no difference at all. OWH's lawyer told him the same thing. So there is certainly no issue in the court if an A occurred and probably none regarding the continued presence of an OP either but I can't be sure.

I wish you luck. I think OWH's biggest mistake was not fighting OW on exposing DD to my WH. Then again, my WH and OW had already brought DD on dates with them before either OWH or I ever knew about the A anyway so it probably didn't make a difference.

Isn't he the parent? As such should he have the children's interest at heart? This NOT about him (oooh......that about him attitude is soooo WS' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> )..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Make it difficult for him to have them at his home. Instead he can explain to his children why his dad needs to be ashamed of showing them his current residence. It isn't a home, it's a box filled with slime.

He traded that for his family and their home. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

No way should you allow your children to be around filth. Let him know that. His current residence and association with the OW is considered, slime, filth, garbage. Yea.... it stinks 2! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

I agree with Orchid's advice to have a background check done on the OW. There may be something there that you can use as an objection to her being near your children.

Also, if the OW has children, contact the father(s) of her children to inform them that she may be placing their children in your WH's presence. In my case, this helped break up the adultery since father of OW's daughter is a police officer and my WXH had a restraining order against him.