The WW is chatting and stuff on a laptop in the house. She is now into hiding it because she knows that I was on it when she left it home alone. It is connected to the home wireless network. She flaunts chatting with people right in front of me. I have a keylogger and know what she is doing. My question is if she is chatting with Divorce friendly people and her OM on that laptop what should I do? Let it happen? Change the security password?

Help with the laptop
BTW I need to connection to talk here

R

BIC, if you know she is chatting with the OM, then ask her to take her affair elsewhere. She shouldn't be carrying on her affair in your home in front of you and the kids. If she continues her disrespect, I would unplug the router. She has every right to talk to her sleazy pro-divorce friends, though.

Also, what did your wife mean about her friend, Holly, coming to visit? Is this another one of her pro-divorce friends coming to help her plot against you in your own house? Because any friend who is helping her bust up your family, should not darken your doorstep.

Yes holly and family are coming. Plus another single pro divorce friend after that.

I forgot this and plan on telling her today that because of the marriage problems I do not think that we should have guest staying with us. They can get a Motel. We aren't a Holiday Inn Express and neither is my RV.

R

Well, I am sure I wil get slammed for this... and I know it is a LB... but I would snap that lap top into pieces(or otherwise disable it while she isn't looking. And as far as her friends visiting... let THEM know they are not welcome in your home. JMHO.

If it connects to a home wireless network that uses a router, and you have another PC on that wireless network, then there are plenty of opportunities there, both for snooping and throwing spanners into the A-machine... :-).

A packet-capturing utility could allow you to capture any data sent to or from that laptop. And it won't require you to leave any software running on the laptop either.

You can even connect to the laptop remotely and change its configuration (you'll need an account on the laptop though - but if you have her password, there you go...). Want to enable MSN Messenger message history and access it? Easy to do over the network.

Depending on how much configuration that router allows you, you can make communication with certain IP ranges virtually impossible (by adding in a new invalid route or two). Her friends communicate from certain IP ranges? You can put a quick stop to that easily this way. Ditto for OM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Contact me via my e-mail address if you want more detail...



I'm with MelodyLane here. Request that she doesn't do so. Tell her that you consider it a sign of disrespect. If she continues, then it may be time to take things a bit further...

I get the babble from her when I ask her to not do it. She says " So you are telling me I can't talk to my friends" That is not what I am telling her I just want the anti-marriage stuff to stop.

I would love to break it in a 1000 pieces but then that would be violent and get me tossed from the house.
R

yes, but "accidently" dropping it is not violent!

She is in the hiding the laptop from me. I used to break into it while she was at work. She found out and not takes it with her. Sometimes to the bathroom <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

R

Dear betrayedinCAL,

your WW probably thinks it's all "innocent" because "she's not really doing anything wrong", right ?

My X used these lines to justify his chatting on-line after D-Day:
"I need my privacy"
"OW and me need to have closure"
"I need to talk to other people"
etc. etc.

Boy was he upset when I flat out told him to stop his chatting because it was disrespectful to me. He did stop - or so I thought. I found out later he had signed up on dating sites, and never stopped chatting, even set up a meeting with one of the women he met on-line (all of this without my knowledge).

He would claim he just gets along with women more easily than he does with men !
He just happened to pick those women that were single or not "very" into their relationship, and that just so happened to have the right age and looks to be interesting to him.

All this "innocent" chatting really is telling you that your WW is far from desevering the "F" of FWW (FormerlyWW). She still has no idea what committing to a relationship/M is about, she's just looking out for her own needs, regardless of the hurt that causes to the people around her.

You can stay in plan A for some time - and you should, if you're not it already - but not indefinitely. Your heart and self-respect can only take so much.

In hindsight I do regret not "accidentally" running over my X's PC with my car <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> but then again, that would hardly have changed things !

I think you should confiscate it as evidence and store the damn thing in a deposit box. BUT ...... i think that goes against the principles of plan A.

Anyone else think removing the crack pipe from the house is a good idea?

I am not so sure of my advice because I tend to think with my heart and not my head.

Brown,
You know my WW? NO they are the same so to speak. I get these are my "friends" and you are telling me not to talk to my "friends" But they all sit in chat and complain about UPH and talk about how much better she would be without me. Yes she is far from being the FormerWW. She is mostly talking to woman so far. But I am sure that there is a secret someplace I just have not found it yet. Come out come out where ever the OM is hiding this time.

As for Plan A I have been in it about 2 weeks. SO I guess I have a way to go. At least she is noticing that I in a 180 with plan A. She asked yesterday why I act like I am distancing myself. I told her that is what she wanted. Right?

Still hate that she is sitting next to me chatting and I know it is about me. I will read about it later on the keylogger.

R

Hey BIC:

You can attempt to get access to any computer running Windows XP on your wireless network, if you know the name of the computer, or its IP address.

To gain access to the computer, Select Start..Run, then enter \\(computername), where (computername) is the name of her computer. If you get a response saying that the name could not be found, try using the IP address of the computer instead (you should be able to find this out using the administration menus on your router). If you do get a response, you'll be prompted for a username and password - at this point, enter a username and password for an account on the computer. If an Explorer screen opens up, then you can likely gain access to the computer's C: drive by changing the location in Explorer to \\(computername)\C$

You may also be able to gain access to the computer's registry (it's where most system and software parameters are stored). Select Start..Run, then enter "regedit". Then, from the Registry Editor's menu, select File..Connect Network Registry. Enter \\(computername) in the text box, then select OK. If this works, you'll be presented with a username and password prompt. Enter a username and password for an account on the computer. If this works, you know have access to the computer's registry.

BTW - if you have access to C$ or the laptop's registry, you can basically render it totally unusable, without having to physically damage it.

Concerning your router, I'm not familiar with it. However, you could check the manual to see if it has anything about configuring static routes. If you want to make a site unreachable, adding a atatic route for its address that goes through a nonexistant gateway address should do the trick.

You can configure for static IPs or you can lock it down by allowing only machines that you have the MAC Address for. Look in the user's manual or go online to configure and use the help function. You can use WEP or WAP encryption and she can't get in/out.

I don't think BIC wants to lock her out entirely. Just prevent access to certain sites in a way that does not arouse suspicion.

I've received some e-mail from some others about packet capturing. Here's a link that can help - the software is normally referred to as packet sniffers. http://netsecurity.about.com/cs/hackertools/a/aafreepacsniff.htm. To get the best out of them, it would be best to lock the target of the sniffing to a particular IP address (configure the router's DHCP service to provide an "infinite" lease to the computer's MAC address). Then, just leave the packet sniffer running on the computer you're using to capture packets from the target. Note: this will be basically useless if the traffic is encrypted. There are ways to crack WEP, but that's a whole other level of hacking that's really out of scope here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Will she know I have hacked in using the start and computer name with login and password. Will a popup or dialog box show on her computer while she is using it. That is the only time currently that I have access to it. As she shuts it down and takes it with her most of the time.

I will look into the packet thing. Not sure if it will be what I want.

My router in the block services setup ask for starting and ending port and a service type/user defined. What is it asking for and can I just type in a website?

thanks
r

BIC, someone once told me that if you suspect something, chances are that your hunches are right. In my case, they were right. My STBXW was indeed carrying on a relationship with another guy, and when I was spying on her, trying to get intel on what she was doing, I was getting absolutely squat... until I started using a small digital recorder and a keylogger, and "My friends" was the key word she used ALL THE TIME, the only "My friends" she was chatting with, was the OM. Keep that in mind.

She was chatting with OM by using her cell phone. That was always on her hip, would never ever let me see it, and was chatting with him during meals, at night in bed.

If you suspect she has a secret, chances are that your hunches are correct. If she is hiding her laptop from you, on it and making sure you aren't around, or making sure you cannot see when she is on it, if it smells like a duck, quacks like a duck... you know the rest.

If you really want to limit her access, if you know the application she is using to chat, either AOL, Yahoo, ICQ, you could possibly configure your router to block the ports those applications use. She then wouldn't be able to use them.

If you want to disable the laptop all together, I'm sure the delete key and the right folders would really make it quit working altogether.

Kuky,
I have no idea what port these things use. How do I find that out. I know she uses skpe to chat and talk on the phone so that it the main site I would like to block plus msn chat. Myspace would be nice but not a neccesity. So how do I figure out the ports? DO I ping the site? or some other method?

Thanks this is the direction I am working with the laptop seems how I can not access it with her hiding it. Plus the keylogger is on it so I do not want her to reformat the drive.

I'm not a computer wiz, but I use Spector, which is way more than a keylogger. go to spector.com, $60. it sends email alerts to you based on key words you select, such as: miss you, love you, meet me, etc. It also takes screen shots. You will only need access to her computer to install it, after that, rely on the emails. Back off her, like you don't care for a couple of days, so you can get to that computer. Also, go to wherify.com, they have cheap GPS ($100) phones, so you can track her in real time.

Thanks I already have eblaster. It gives information that the Spector Pro does not. Had Pro but needed access to the computer all the time to see the screen shots. Now that it is hidden I don't have that access.

Working on disabling the router.

thanks for the input on the phones