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WW wants me to move out!
#1772854 11/25/06 11:34 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
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LastShot
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WW claims that her A is over. OM claims he wants nothing further as well now that the A is in the open.

However, WW says she just doesn't love me anymore, and wants a D not because of OM but because of me. She wants me to move out. I refuse, since I want to work on this marriage.

How does this scenario play out? I am not going anywhere. IF she does move out, do I go to immediate Plan B? What about my young son? How would we arrange time with him? What if she moves in with OM? I will not allow WW to spend time with OM and my DS. What are my legal rights? What if she doesn't move out, but starts seeing OM again? That is unacceptable to me, but what do I do about it? I can't force her to move out, just like she can't force me. If the A continues, how do you start Plan B if WW is not willing to move out? File for legal separation?

BH (me) - 36 WW - 35 DS - 4 DS - 2 DDay - Oct 06 PA started early 06 PA over, NC letter sent 11/26 WW hates BH, talks of D
Re: WW wants me to move out!
LastShot #1772855 11/25/06 11:42 AM
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mimi_here Offline
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mimi_here
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Just hold on for awhile.

This is probably a play to get you to move out.

Hold on and watch for HER NEXT MOVE.

Whatever the case, YOU DO NOT MOVE OUT...and maintain your PLAN A for now.

I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Re: WW wants me to move out!
mimi_here #1772856 11/25/06 11:50 AM
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MelodyLane Offline
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However, WW says she just doesn't love me anymore, and wants a D not because of OM but because of me. She wants me to move out. I refuse, since I want to work on this marriage.

She is very confused and fogged out because she is either in a) withdrawal or b) still seeing the OM. She doesn't feel like she loves you now BECAUSE OF HER AFFAIR. But as she goes through withdrawal, those feelings will come back if she loved you before. I will post a link to a thread on withdrawal.

Don't even discuss divorce with her, because her feelings will change from day to day. Simply tell her that you aren't interested in D and aren't going anywhere. If she wants to move, she is free to go, but let her know she can't take your child or any household items without a court order and a sheriff with a bigass gun. That tells her that you are not going to make it easy for her to destroy your family and will cause her to think twice. Let her know you will not cooperate AT ALL.

Most often, talk of divorce blows over as she withdraws from the OM, given that contact has truly ended. If contact has not ended, then you have a huge problem on your hands.

Are you familiar with the Harley books such as His Needs, Her Needs and Surviving an Affair?

And like Mimi said, do not move out!

withdrawal: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2686313

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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