After 18 years of marriage I discovered my husband's infidelity. He admitted to it but said it was an error of judgement, that he shouldn't have started it whilst he was married. However, he wanted to leave the marrige because he felt stifled by it, that he was not the marrying type, that he wanted to expand himself. He said I had baggage and couldn't follow him to wherever he wanted to go. We have a 16 year old daughter together and I have two grown up sons from a previous marriage who I hardly see. For 8 months I tried to rebuild our marriage which he said was not very good because I challenged him and would not give him complete control of my earnings anymore so he could plan our future. In the end, he left home 3 months ago to live in an apartment which he purchased for himself near to his work. Almost immediately, he began to come home at weekends and behaved as if nothing had happened. I was confused and didn't know what to do. I allowed him to come home and found him completely changed. Instead of an agressive man, now there is a man who is willing to listen and compromise. He takes me out and we have ben on holiday together. He stays the weekend and we also sleep together. He invited me to see his apartment which I did. Now he talks as if he stays away from home during the week for work reasons. This is what he has told the neighbours. He has never asked me to agree this new arrangement, we have just fallen into it. When I ask him what he feels about me, he replies that he would rather not answer as words are meaningless and I should watch what he does. When I ask why he needs to live away he replies because, say I wanted to go around the word on my own, I couldn't if I was living at home because you would want to come with me. Then he says things like he wants to change for the better and he recovery is almost complete, that he was full of self pity but now he is getting better. Whenever I feel that we could be back on, he seems to pull away and act as if we are friends. I don't know what else to do.
