Good day all,

My wife & I have been married a little over 16 yrs. and for the last 3 months; I have been traveling out of state due to a job assignment. I'm able to come home every 10 days or so so it's not like we don't see each other for extended periods of time. For the last couple years, our finances have really become a touchy subject which normally results in heated 'discussions.' Fast fwd to a month ago and my wife starts acting a little distant while I'm home, days start passing without phone calls to each other, etc. I started snooping around and find that she has been talking to an old friend via both email & phone. Well, 3 wks ago, my worst fear became reality in that they met at a little bed-n-breakfast type place when she was supposedly on a business trip. After consulting a lawyer with intensions of filing for the big D, I confronted her with what I knew and at first, she denied everything but then broke down and admitted something did happen. She tells me she's sorry & said she hasn't talked to the other guy since that weekend. We are trying to resolve what lead up to her infidelity and thereby spending a lot more time together. Neither of us want to separate but at the same time I don't feel like sharing my wife with someone else. Problem is, I think they are still talking but are now using web email services which are a little more difficult to peer into.

So my question, given the above synopsis of what's going on, what is the consensus of installing spyware onto her(our) computer in order to verify whether or not she's not talking to this guy?


Thanks.

I most certainly would install a keylogger until you are assured that the affair is ended and she can be trusted. This is exactly what saved my marriage. I was able to VERIFY independently that my H was being truthful and faithful. This knowledge allowed me to relax and learn to work on marriage.

One that you will find helpful is either eblaster [spector.com] or webwatcher.[webwatcher.com] The former will send activity logs to another email address. With webwatcher, you can monitor her activity from a website.

However, that does not address the biggest problem you have right now, and that is the fact that you have a traveling job. As you can see, that is disasterous to a marriage. If you want to repair your marriage, that will have to change.

Why the screen name? Are you toxic?

I agree with the above message 100%, it's exactly what happened to me, my experience was the same.

This topic has been discussed in great detail under this forum heading "tools for detecting an affair."

The spyware gave me the truth, the upper hand, lingo they used, phrases they used to let me know what degree the affair was and the knowledge to deter them. It also verified that it had stopped and that avenue of communication was now over. If it were not for Spector, I would have never known!!! The information I found is too painful to recall for your sake, let's just say it's limitless. Then I found out about the other cell phone and the PO box the bill was being sent to. Spyware is only one line of defense of a war for your spouse. Also get GPS tracking via wherify phone @ wherify.com. If she has an SUV you can use an AC adapter in a remote outlet. It's very cheap, you'll know where she's going and where and when she went. Keep it ALL to yourself at first.

I can relate to your situation and Melodylane's almost word for word.

LOL.

At the time I registered, the W & I were doing the blame game as to why we were in this situation. I must admit that I'm probably not the easiest person to live with hence the screen name.

Reading some of the articles & other emails on this site has really helped pull me out of the emotional rut I was in during the investigating stage & ultimately finding out what I didn't want to accept to be true. Today was the first day where I wasn't completely distraught over what I found out last week. Add me to the list of those that this site has helped.

I bought a copy of ebalster & will get it installed this weekend. As for the job situation, well my assignment won't end until next Aug. so I'm sort of SOL in that aspect.

Thanks for the replies.

get a keylogger....snoop snoop snoop...find out what you can....it will help you out a lot....remember, knowledge is power.....God Bless you