How did you feel when your WS brought the OP to a family gathering? and when they made major life changes for the OP?

My WH brought the OW (and her children) to thanksgiving dinner at his parents house. (DD was 7/06) I expected it, but thought that he might be too guilty to explain that he now has a new family with a baby on the way to the whole family.

Also, I was told that he is making major life changes for her now that she's expecting.... Should this be looked at as pathetic? Or finally stepping up to his responsibilities? Or is this just a temporary act to make himself look good and to justify his actions?

Any input is welcome....Thanks

Mine has brought OW to family gatherings for 3 and a half years. YUCK.

All I can say is that his parents must be way out there. My grown boys aren't married yet, but they know better than to pull something like that.

The changes are temporary. Give him a few more months.

Thanks for the response.

and YES, his (mother) parents can be out there, but could it be that they are just being supportive? That sounds bad, but it's not like they helped him to make these choices, but they still love him. His mother is esctatic about the expected new grandchild....that's sick....

One week after he left us, my ex brought the OW to meet his parents, introducing her as his new 'partner'.

My exMIL was embarrassed, but didn't stop it. Usually such a strong and forthright woman, she was been very weak and submissive since the OW came on the scene.

As Ex and OW showed no shame back then, obviously they haven't shown it since, and OW has completely taken over at family events. I wasn't even able to attend Ex's grandparents' funerals, but OW did, though she'd barely met them.

Now I am 'out' of the family and the OW is 'in'. Don't expect any shame or guilt to show, because the infidels can't let it show. They have to pretend to all that their relationship is 'normal' and 'right' and will agressively promote this, no matter how much it upsets and embarrasses the rest of the family.

You asked how we feel when the WS does this - well, initially I felt like I'd been thrown in the garbage by Ex and OW. Now I have moved on. In fact, Ex, Ow and my DDs are spending Christmas together at MIL's place. OW will be pretending that she is 'mommy'. What can I do but let it go? If I keep the anger inside, it will only hurt me.

{{{notkimmiez}}}

Alph.

Alphin,

That is exactly how I felt. I described it as being thrown away like a piece of trash, he dumped me and never gave me another thought. His treatment of our marriage was similar to a high school crush that ended when he found the cheerleaders put out...lol ...sorry, but you understand what I mean...

Now I'm just being realistic and know that he's just being selfish and self centered. I really don't care about his actions now....

Oh, and by the way...

I know that all my exIL's hate the OW, but they are too afraid of upsetting my Ex to say so. But if, like in your sitch, the OW were to become pregnant, all would be forgiven, and she would be accepted 100% (at least by exMIL).

That must be so hard, knowing that there is a child on the way who is totally innocent in all this. I fully expect it to happen one day in my sitch, too.

Alph.

you're not alone.

it's painful.
the pain does fade and all the firsts are the hardest.

my IL's still deny that WH cheated even though the night he moved out he spent w/OW. De'Nile runs deep. that's how they live with themselves and their son.

it's been said time and time again...
we can't control/change others. put your energies into protecting yourself thru positive thoughts and activities.

i'm sorry for u.
HELLO - i'm sorry for all of us who've found their way to this board for the many reasons.
good luck.
m

You call that "supportive??" I guess it is good he is not a serial killer then, huh? When you love someone, you "support" them in being GOOD, not bad. There is nothing "loving" or "supportive" in helping someone destroy themselves and their family.

Your H's family doesn't give a damn about him, they just want to be liked and are going along to get along.

If my son came home with a ho, he would not be welcomed with opened arms and he knows it. I expect much better of my son because I LOVE HIM.

Melody,


WH is acting very immature and his mother is the main person that is supporting him. His sister and I are good friends and she told me that the family does not agree with his choices. Now that a baby is involved, I think the family has no choice but to atleast be civil..??? I hope they don't have a baby shower for them....that's would be so gross.

I agree with you, but how would you feel "if" your son choose the OW over his family....would you still feel this way? Just a thought....

notkimmiez, I don't know what I would do, but I certainly would not welcome them into my home. There is nothing supportive about that. Instead, I would support my DIL and grandchildren.

Melody Lane,

I completely understand that, but what's a parent do to? I know that his family is not receiving her with open arms, but life does go on when your children divorce. I know that my IL's love me and miss me and MY children (not his), but I feel like I need to step back and remove myself from his family. So any suggests on how to do this? Do I just walk away without saying goodbye, or should I send cards on the holidays?