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Joined: Apr 2001
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[
Surely you don't think this will put a damper on the affair? If an alcoholic couldn't drink at his desk anymore, do you think he would just stop drinking? Really?
No, they will just find a new way to stay in touch. Count on it. They have no reason to end the affair.
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:12 PM.
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I felt the same way prior to exposing my WW A with her employer and soon decided that my M and family was more important than her job.
There is NOTHING wrong with fighting for you M and family at all costs! Do you have kids?
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:13 PM.
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This may actually transition the EA to PA more quickly. If she can't get her "fix" from emailing him, she might seek out other ways to get her "fix." Also still, what is more important, your wife's job or your marriage? Ask yourself that question. Call up your wife's HR director and ask a question as to their rules regarding that policy and what they would do if inappropriate personnal emails were being sent from a work computer. If they say the employee would be warned and if it continued, they would be fired, then you have nothing to fear except ending their contact from work.
- Jim
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:14 PM.
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my apologies to you sir
I meant to say ... Do you have a question for the board?
If you ask "What should I do?" ... and we all scream in unison EXPOSE THE AFFAIR
and you say "I can't do that ... she'll get mad and leave me"
.... then what?
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:14 PM.
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what is your wife's problem?
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:15 PM.
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NC doesn't count if they find someone else to have an EA with. You need to stand up for yourself. You are letting your WW treat you like a doormat. She'll continue this behavior as long as you let her. You may not have learned your lessons from your first failed M because history is repeating itself. You need to set some boundaries and enfore them as well as meet the emotional needs of your wife if/when this thing finally ends.
- Jim
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:16 PM.
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The longer this goes on the more time she'll have to rationalize taking this EA to a PA (like my husband doesn't make me happy, our marriage is pretty much over anyway, etc.). Add some alcohol or other social lubricant to the mix, and it won't be as hard as you think. You need to end it NOW!
- Jim
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:16 PM.
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so, are you saying
no matter what you do for the next 50 years of this marriage.... fill her emotional needs as best as you humanly can... it might never be enough to satisfy her?
10 years from now, if your wife is made to feel flattered by an attractive outsider, she might have another EA?
Are you describing such a woman?
Pep
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:17 PM.
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Are you implying that you M is the result of an online EA with your WW who was M at the time?
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:18 PM.
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He is explaining why his first marriage failed (his first wife had an affair on him as well).
- Jim
Last edited by Justuss; 12/07/06 02:19 PM.
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