Hi,

My husband had an affair with a co-worker. We've been married 10 years and have 2 young children aged 7 and 4. My husband started an EA with her around 2 years ago. Much happened since then, but I'll try to be brief. I learned about the EA last summer. I cried a lot, etc. My husband wanted to work things out with me. The last year has been better in a way, but I was always insecure and asking questions. Our relationship was better (so I thought). I thought the affair was over. My husband stuggled a lot during that year, but it was never really over. This summer, the other woman left her husband and daughter for my husband. I didn't know that. Looking back, I think I was kind of dumb <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. At the time she left her husband, my husband started to sleep away from home on some nights. He was at his parents with our camping trailer. Also, I didn't know, but she had found an appartment near my parents-in-law. My husband was having a lot of anxiety and was depressed. He was crying a lot with me and telling me he had to leave for what he had done. I thought he was talking about the EA. I was trying to help, but was so confused. He wasn't saying much either. Basically, he was telling me he had ruined her life!!!! After of month of him not always sleeping home, I was a total wreck. I went to see my doctor and told her the whole story. It's very long, and I'll spare you. She helped me a lot. After my appt, I told my husband that this time, I was really, really serious. I told him to leave the house and not come back before he was sure. At that time, I knew he was still "thinking" about her. He left the house and came back an hour later and told me a little more, not much though. My husband is a wonderful person and family man. He told me he wanted to be with me and work on our marriage. I accepted. He was talking normally. Before that, he really, really was on another planet. I felt as if it was not him. He called the other woman one day when I was not home and told her it was over. I didn't know about the phone call. That night, she called home and said to me: "Ask ___ with whom he likes to sleep more with, me or you?" I was totally DEVASTATED. I'll spare the details here. My husband also went to his doctor around the same time I went to see mine. His doctor put him off work for six weeks. During his time off, he was looking for another job and was scared to face her at work. He returned to work last week and she's acting more or less as if nothing happened. My husband says they are not talking. He found another job with the same company 2 hours from home. We would need to move. I really would like to get rid of her for good. I told my husband to find something else if he wants to be with me. I'm so hurt by all of this and feel it's the least he can do for me. I want to move on. Now, he can't decide what to do. He's been putting off his decision for more than a week. Our house is paid, he likes and is comfortable with his job, he's not sure he would like his new job, he's scared about moving, etc. He would be incomfortable with any change in his life. He's like that. Anyway, I would do anything to avoid this pain again and save my family. Also, our families have been really supportive, especially my mother. Do you think I'm right? I'm not sure at this point I can trust and believe what he's saying. I feel I can't turn the page with her still in the picture. He also says he sorry for what he did to her. I would love so much to save my marriage and be happy after this rollercoaster. Anyone in this same situation? Do we really need to move? I feel we should, but... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> [color:"black"] [/color]