Well. Well. Well.

I want to word this correctly because I want to cover so many points here, so forgive me ahead of time if I seem to be random and babbling.

XH just called my work phone. (I say work phone to let you all know I no longer answer cell when he calls unless it is preceded by a text saying he is calling to talk to the boys. I did this for my own sanity--he can be a mean one.)

He says to me that he will no longer be bringing the boys around OW. Now, I don't buy it, but curiosity kept me from hanging up on him. I guess he had it in his mind that OW was going to be true to him when he promised to never contact her XH (they were married before the affair). So, my XH walks in on them. I guess a loud fight occurred from what I gathered.

As I listened to this, a weird feeling came across me, kind of like a amile, but not 100%. I am glad for this moment--because he is kind of getting some of what he did to me. But then, there is no comparison. She owes him no fidelity. Apparently he expected it, but really, she owes him none. It's bittersweet. But oh, my friends. it is very sweet, too.

Bitter to me because of the waste. And because he seems to think maybe now I can give him a chance? Huh? He is only saying this because again, he's alone. It's temporary. i've heard this before. I'm back-up plan intexas and I know this. The Lord has opened my eyes thankfully. It is still stinging some, but not as much.

I agree with Catgirl that the holidays are hard. Last year, though, they were harder. I am doing better this time around.I made a trip with the boys 10 hours away to visit family. Drove all by myself. It was very liberating.

Guess I just wanted to check in and share this story. While I don't think this is the last of OW and XH, it's still nice to know it's not peachy keen in post-affair land. And while I am no where near healed from all this, I am okay. I have my moments, but there is a huge comfort in knowing I'll make it through this.

And, I am sorry I don't post as much as I would like. It's not busyness keeping me away--it's more I get so sad lately when I come here. This site and you all were a huge source of hope for me, and I want you to know I am not abandoning this place.

YES!

And we knew, all of us, didn't we, that this would happen!

YES!

We are smarter than those ws people!!!

Glad you are doing ok.

Glad you are testing your wings successfully.

he he he he he he he he he he he he ....HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"whatsoever thou shall soweth that shall you also reap"

AMEN!!!!!!!!! and AMEN!!!!!!!

I long for the day this happens to my EX WW and her serial cheating old OM.

If it happens I will simply laugh and send her a personally signed copy of Surviving An Affair

Thanks cinderella. It was nice to go on a Thanksgivng trip on our own. And we had a good time. Everyone here was scared for me to do it alone, and my mom (in Ohio) was extremely worried about me and the boys. But we had a great time. The boys were the best travelers. In fact, if I had more money, we would do trips more often.

H&P--
OMG did I laugh at the sending a copy of SAA. HILARIOUS! I didn't think I would get to the point where I would laugh at this happening to him (and I knew history would repeat it itself) but as he gets meaner and more cruel to me daily, well, I kind of do find it funny. Not in a sick way, but in a how could you be so stupid sort-of way. I don;t want to see him hurt, and I would like more than anything to see him being a great father to the boys, but well, a little repeath/soweth, if anything, can serve to remind me that God will do what He says He will do.

sad thing--he walked in on them back in April (the month I call the last stand--the last time I gave him a chance to choose his family). And still, 7 months later, he is dealing with the drama his affair partner's affair is causing him. I swear I don't think I ever knew this man. Calling me to cry about her cheating on him <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Yay, intexas! And again, I say YAY!!!

Stupid WS's! They all think they are so special, their love is sooooo unique!

They might still be 'together' for a while, but the affair is in its death throes for sure.

Now, if only some of that 'affair crumbling disease' would infect my Ex's affair. Still waiting for the slightest chink in their relationship, but no sign yet.

But... YAY, intexas!!!

Alph.

Good to hear from you Intexas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Glad that you had a good holiday with your boys. The holidays should get better and better every year now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

and yeah, there is a little "guilty" pleasure we take when "what they so, so shall they reap" comes back to bite them in the *$$. <<nudge>> <<nudge>> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Wishing you & yours the best. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

call it Karma if you want. But my God doesnt sleep on justice. Just be patient.

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

You are so much more than you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the update, intexas. Glad you are doing well. The affair will end for sure, they always do.

Hope by then you are having a GREAT life.

Sooooooooooo glad you got yourself out of that damn mess. Way to go, intexas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alphin,

You probably will not see any "chinks" in the affair, instead one day it will just cease to exist and you will hear about it from someone, perhaps even WH? Reason being that the A partners have given up all for each other, they have to make it work or everyone will be right about them and their little fantasy. They will fight to the bitter end to save their fantasy if for no other reason than to be "right". Unfortunately for them the same reasons (selfishness, lack of comittment and loyalty, entitlement and more) they had the affair keep them from being able to sustain it in the face of "real life" once things begin to look less rosy. But, they will try and try because they don't want to look like idiots when this is over. Well they already do to almost everyone but themselves and a few foolish friends who are takers.

I told my EX WW that the old OM had it made since he could cheat, lie, hurt, abuse or do almost anything to her and she would have to take it. I told her that she had rather do this than admit that all of this was a mistake and huge mess up on her part.

ARE YOU KIDDING ????

THIS IS COMPELLING, ACTUALLY !!!!!!

I admire you for setting boundaries for your own sanity.
So many BS have yet to learn that maintaining their sanity is their own responsibility.


well well well
a cheater remains a cheater
what a surprize
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


you experienced a "knowing"
you just knew


you are correct
he got micro-betrayal
you got Godzilla-sized-adultery


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> oh but you're wrong .... she "promised" and she "said things" .... and we all know that is all that matters .... pillow talk <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Living well is the best revenge


a chance to what???? be noble? be faithful?

*doh* .... he doesn't mean THAT !!!!!!


once you recognize he's playing the same old tune you decide you're not going to dance the same old dance

it's corn-fuzzing for the infidelitis-mentalis when their old tricks don't work and the BS is on to them

they will say things like ~~~> "You've changed. What happened?"

LOL

GOOD FOR YOU


not unless you volunteer to be back up ... and you won't <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


and it is true you know ~~~> this too shall pass


REVENGE is best served cold ... and once you are liberated ... you can do this ...


and you will get through this with your soul and values and integrity intact



thank you for the refreshing update

live well
it drives the infidels crazy

Pep

giving this a little more thought

perhaps one of the more shocking <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> things a XWS has to deal with is

their words no longer have any valued currency with their divorced BS

I think this is shocking news to most of them

Pep

PIMP at your post pep!

tis a good one.

in texas...may life be full and treat you well.

Lol......lol.......lol.....I LOVE this idea!!!!!

In Texas,
Gives you a kind of sad satisfaction. Think the greatest satisfaction is probably that you CAN be on your own and be okay. He's not necessary like food, air and water.

Just sorry for you that he, like so many, wake up from the affair induced coma a wee bit late.

Sorry for him, anyway.

Sounds like you've got it goin' on!!! Traveling with kids is fun. No one to tell you when to stop or not. No one to tell you that you'll stop "on the way back".

I took a trip in late October w/my 15 y/o daughter. We knew where we wanted to go but had no reservations. We had $, tank of gas and a map. We had a blast. No time table, no one to get mad if we did x. It was great.

"perhaps one of the more shocking things a XWS has to deal with is

their words no longer have any valued currency with their divorced BS

I think this is shocking news to most of them"

You NAILED it Pep. Last talk I had with WH - about 6 months ago, he asked me if our marriage was really dead -- was there any chance at all. This after 3 and a half years of living with the OW.

I had to look down, and bite my tongue and hold my breath to keep from busting out laughing. And he seemed just as sincere as ever.

I was going to comment on that same quote, Believer. I am amazed that he is literary SHOCKED that I am distant now. And yes, I've heard the "you've changed in a bad way, intexas, and I don't like it" smeal as well.

Changed?

Darn right I changed. I had to. I had to pick up the pieces of a mess HE MADE. I changed into a more confident me. A more reliant on God me.

He thinks I am happier without him and that is why I have changed. But it's not that. And those of you here know and understand what "it" is. It's not happiness. It is, like Pep said, a point of realizing we're in charge of protecting ourselves fron FURTHER hurt. We didn't cause the big whammy, but we have to have our guards and boundaries up. I wish all new BS's could grasp this sooner, but I know why it is hard to just as well.

Life2shrt--Oh, he hasn't come to the realization by far. He's just uncomfortable because his OW is cheating on him. She's done it before. This is a pattern with him. I can almost tell you what's gonna come next. i wanted to share the story though, for those who think the repeath/soweth karma thing is far off.

And thanks everyone for the well wishes and kind words. I absolutely LOVE MB and feel like it is a safe place for me.

"Bitter to me because of the waste."

Amen. It's like watching a train heading east at full speed on the same track as the one heading west. There's gonna be a wreck!

InTexas, while there must be some personal satisfaction that the wreck you saw coming actually happened, any bitterness is understandable because it was all so unnecessary. Good for you for keeping your sanity about the entire situation.