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So should I wait to get all the details from teh PI tomorrow or just start this "battle" tonight? I want to have my ducks in a row prior to this final exposure.
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So should I wait to get all the details from teh PI tomorrow or just start this "battle" tonight? I want to have my ducks in a row prior to this final exposure. You've waited THIS long, might as well get your ducks in a row. ~ Marsh
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Three cheers for
Mr. Wondering
Last edited by MrWondering; 12/12/06 06:34 PM.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Posts were deleted...your turn Mr. W.
~ Marsh
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OK, so I have evidence of an EA as mentioned above. Today is do or die time. Just trying to figure out how to expose and not give up my source in the event I still need it. Somthing like "I got a tip that OM was with you..."
My heart is pounding out of my chest today.
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You don't have to give a source. Just tell her you know. She knows she was with him, so you don't have to prove it to her. Was there any kissing or anything like that? How long were they at his place before they left? If there was affection and they were in his house for a while, that is proof of a PA as well.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Wait a minute, is it starting to get dark outside? Is that the wind picking up? I think a storm is a brewin'.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Okay...so you expose. You catch her in a lie, and you tell her you know what she really did yesterday. Is that going to change anything? Would it be more beneficial to you and the OMW to wait until you have even more damaging evidence? But whatever you decide, NEVER reveal your source.
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I don't think there is an OMW in this case. His WW has been insisting that he moves out and that no A has been occuring. He is now confronting her and letting her know that he knows. Also, SC is a state that is very hard on adultery if he does get divorced.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Okay...so you expose. You catch her in a lie, and you tell her you know what she really did yesterday. Is that going to change anything? Would it be more beneficial to you and the OMW to wait until you have even more damaging evidence? But whatever you decide, NEVER reveal your source. This is exactly what I was thinking... EXPOSURE is when you EXPOSE the A to other people. What you're doing is CONFRONTING her... What do you hope to gain from it? I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, I'm just wondering if you stand more of a chance of losing something rather then gaining something. I say, keep spying till you can prove the PA...keep your cards close to your chest and continue to Plan A her. It doesn't mean you can't tell her you KNOW she's having an A...I just wouldn't show her my proof. ~ Marsh
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You are absolutely right, Marsh. "Confront" is the correct term.
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Hold tight on confronting her. You need to prove the affair so that you are covered under SC law. A lot of money is riding on you proving that (alimony, etc).
You have enough evidence to confront her. Now, get enough evidence to lock your legal position.
Once you have that all together...then you can confront and watch the cockroaches run for darkness!! With no where to run!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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I hope he saw your post, MM..
Maybe someone could give him a call?
~ Marsh
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Good advice MM. I don't know anything about SC law, but I figure four aces are better than one. If jmwc95 is still around here, maybe he can contact EPH
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Just back from lunch. I hear about confronting, and I agree to some extent, but I see it as more exposure. She has blown off and denied and explained away my claims that I suspect something is going on.
As jmwc95 said, there is no OMW.
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She has admitted to a PA with this guy 3 years ago to her mother, MC, and Eph, so I would assume he has sufficient legal standing based on the new info he has. What do you guys think?
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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If you confront her now without any positive evidence of a physical affair, wouldn't this cause her to become more secretive, and drive the whole A so far underground that more evidence would be harder to obtain?
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I think the law says since we have hd SF since the previous PA it is considered forgiven. Even I told her that I forgave her after we worked through some of that before.
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Eph,
Was there kissing or any other intimate contact between WW and OM yesterday? I am saying that the burden of proof for a PA is less considering she admitted to previously having a PA with the OM. If she is seen kissing and/or holding hand of OM, I think the court will come to the conclusion that a PA is ongoing based on previous history.
Last edited by jmwc95; 12/13/06 12:22 PM.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Yes, but, SHE knows she's having the A, and YOU know she's having the A...
You don't need to prove it to her.
All it would take is a LOOK to convince her you KNOW what she's doing.
What do you hope you'll gain by showing her your proof?
It will cause her to go further under ground and you might not get the chance to prove the PA part of it.
I think it's more to your advantage if she wonders if you have proof, but doesn't know for sure.
~ Marsh
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