Don't you have GPS on her car? Where does it say she is staying?

My assumption is they are still in NC somewhere since the school my son was in here got a call from a school in NC about getting his records.

Now if there is a second OM I don't know about.....

God please don't let that be the case.

[color:"red"] good luck tomorrow[/color]

[color:"red"]be brave [/color]

[color:"purple"] stand tall [/color]

[color:"green"] and don't forget to breathe and smile [/color]

Pep

I took the GPS off a few weeks ago. Me thinks I should see about getting it back on again, especially after tomorrow, to see what happens.

Pep, thanks for the encouragement. Tomorrow is a turning point in one way or another. No matter what happens, I have not closed the door on her. I have made that clear to her.

I know it is not recommended to engage in talks about the M, but I find myself always wanting to tell her how I feel and what I want for our M. One of the things she wanted from me in our M was to know my heart - what I thought of things and how I feel about things. By engaging in this, I would be meeting her EN for conversation. Should I still back off?

1/8/06 @ 3:30 pm EST - pray for me.

You are in my prayers. If you have a few dollars left on the PI, I would definitely have him spy on the new place on the weekends, especially if you have the kids.

Prayers here also...

Hey...please remember that tomorrow is just one battle in the war. look at my history!! The ups and downs, two false reconciliations, two trips to court, etc. And now finally...she gets it.

The odds are in your favor. But you have to NOT ride the rollercoaster. Stay on plan and on mantra! Even if it looks like everything is failing. eventually, you may go to Plan B and at that time, she will know what it is like to not have you in her life at all. Trust me...she will not like it!!

The Lord will be with you tomorrow! Rest in that, lean on that. Claim that.

I am not encouraged by a 3:30 pm court time. Judges often like to wrap up their day by 4:00, go over some desk work and beat the 5 pm traffic home. When they only get a short cursory review of the facts, it is my best guess, that they too often take the easy safe route and find in favor of the wife/mother. Gender bias is still very much ingrained in our court system. No judge wants to be the guy/girl that awarded a father custody at a temporary hearing only to have some unforseen drama unfold later. The fingers come pointing back at him/her then. Finding for the mom might result in the some other unforseen drama...but nobody then questions or blames the judge. I truly hope I'm wrong about your judge.

Like MM said, do NOT be discouraged. Trust His plan. Hold your head high and respect the court (or you'll never win anything ever). This is only round one in a long war. I truly hope your judge will see to it that your children, at the very least, not be permitted to leave the state.

Mr. Wondering - Praying for the best, preparing you for the worst.

p.s.- This may be your first experience in the court system. Don't be shocked to discover that people don't tell the truth in court. Your WW may lie her butt off to get what she wants. Perhaps have a recorder in your pocket for your meeting afterwards...you may just get the opportunity to document her lies. If she's victorious...she may just get smug.

I do know the judge is female - her bio is here. I have been praying for her. I have been praying for my lawyer to get things right. I have been praying for God to close the doors for my WW to live a life apart from me, and that includes praying for "blindness" on the part of her lawyer. Everyone please do the same.

And it will be my second experience in court - I am undefeated so far <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alright, prayers going up for you and the court case tomorrow. Exactly what are you and your attorney asking for at the hearing?

I can't believe a Judge is going to look kindly on WW in effect "kidnapping" the kids and not communicating with their father. Let's hope she has discernment and makes a good decision.

God bless you and give you strengtha and wisdom tomorrow.

The main points I am going for are:

1. Make clear my desire to reconcile
2. I get primary custody of the kids, and I don't want CS from her
3. No alimony for her due to adultery
4. No paying her attorney fees

Eph

I am in my final court on Thur - Fri

Here are some thoughts....

scratch number 1 - if a judge thinks your doing financials and custody to get wife back they wonder how sincere you are about the kids and they think your just trying to protect your wallet.... let your wife focus on money and you focus on the family.

Why are the kids out of state, that is a big no no.

You want to go to the courts tomorrow and ask/demand for status quo until full trial. That means kids in their school and at home and with friends.

BEST INTEREST OF THE KIDS. Judges do care a damn about parents rights its the kids. So the more you let your WW alter their normal patterns she can claim that it has improved their lives not harmed them.

Don't worry about the attorney fees or anything else this is a focused hearing about what needs to be status quo.

So focus on maintaining the family not the wife.

Iam in NC if you need anything up here.

I have over 12 inch of documentation that we presented to the courts and WW had a few sheets.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

If you have pictures of you and the kids, get to walmart to night and put them in a photo album and take it with you, go I had the judge crying with some of the pictures of me and the kids. You have to think you have to Plan A the judge. Also remember thing will be said tomorrow to push your button, don't react - act. When your WW is on the stand look at the judge look at who is talking to her, because when your looking at WW the judge is looking at you to see if their is anger or undesirable emotion in your reaction to what she says.

Will your pastor go to court with you? You want someone in the room that could speak to about from a expert point of view. It would also make your WW very uncomfortable.

My lawyer said we only get about 15 mins for this first appearance and we only get about 8 pages of docs.

See earlier in the thread for why kids are out of state. I know it looks bad.

Yes, we will demand status quo, i.e. the kids come home with me to be at church, school, and with friends, etc. Protecting the family is the focus right now.

Vike,

I have a question for you that I would like to ask offline @
jefferyrwebb@tds.net if you get time.

Eph,

Like Vike said focus on the children and their best interests and let the Judge do all the math on alimony, child support (of which YOU SHOULD be asking for for your children, not you and for your WW to learn something about responsibility).

All the best tomorrow. We will be thinking of you.

Just wanted to say thanks for all your prayers. I will let everyone know what happens this afternoon.

bump

Court really went well - God answers prayers!

The judge awarded me primary custody of the kids. WW's attorney immediately said that WW would move back to Greenville by this weekend and asked if she keep them during the day - I agreed to this. I will pick them up after work and they will stay nights with me, but we swap every other weekend, holidays, etc (standard visitation agreements). I still have to pay CS since she has no income, but I do not have to pay alimony and none of her attorney's fees. Again, this is just the temporary agreement for the separation.

Thanks everyone for your advice, prayers, everything. God gets this victory!

Now maybe I can get the chance to do a real plan A.

Great news!!!! Now you be the best darn dad you can possibly be. Be a good co-parent and show a willingness to work with her as you already have, without shedding boundaries and principles (i.e. - NO OM around the kids, act like a mother she'll be treated like a mother, etc.)

Take the kids out in public and have others close to you see you care for and manage the kids. Make sure you have them in church.

Sounds to me like she needs to get a job! Maybe you will get a chance to do a plan A, I hope so.

Can you share more details, critical points that helped you in court so others can learn at some point. In the meantime enjoy God's victory and your children.

That's fantastic news!!!

I'm so happy for you!!!

Yes, He does answer prayers.

Was your WW surprised?

Did you meet w/ her afterwards?

Did you have to offer proof of her A?

~ Marsh

awesome

Does the order require no exposure to OM???