Eph, OUTSTANDING!

This is just the start of the race. It's important to get out of the gate fast now. If she still want's to fight for the children, you and your lawyer are going to have to treat it like war. Remember as we talked about, subpeona everything!!!! Each new subpeona will feel to her like you are closing in, and eventually she will see that there is no hiding the A. Hopefully then she will let go and settle, but if she doesn't, and you end up in court for a contested divorce, you'll need to back up the claims of adultery you've made.

Painknowsme is correct. You are still in a battle and until and unless you WW get's it and wants to do the right thing for everyone involved which is to work on the M then you need to be prepared to fight with all you are worth.

don't forget to answer this

Pep

Pepper: I'm sure it did. In SC, judges tend to say "standard restraining orders" after these 15 min hearings. Standard includes no overnight guests of the opposite sex.

BTW, she can nullify past adultery by seducing you or getting you alone and "claiming" you two had sex.

Protect yourself for any and all false allegations by carrying around a hidden voice activated recorder in your pocket.

Mr. Wondering

Mr. Wondering is giving great advice. Do not let her trick you into a 'false recovery' and have sex with you. Also, to MR. Wondering's point, I carried a voice activate recorder around with me for months and to be honest got tons of information that at the last minute I sort of let her know that I had (some I didn't have that I told her of) and she felt compelled to be truthful in deposition or face the possibility that the "tape" could come to the surface.

She may also try to bait you into a fight so be careful not to allow this to happen. Always meet her in a public place.

Great news Eph.

No, we did not meet afterwards like she said we would. She just called me now to tell me she was bringing them over in a few minutes to drop them off for the night. I am sure she is distraught.

Yes, the judge did say specifically no exposure of the kids to the OM, including phone calls. In her own affidavit, she admitted that she has continued to have contact with OM, met him one day last year (the Atlanta trip), but she is not continuing to have a relationship with him.

I keep my recorder with me at all times.

Yes, there are many battles left but I have the confidence to face them.

you are a good man

Do not believe her about not seeing the OM. Verify even if it means hiring a PI. If she still is seeing the OM has lied about it to the court and its documented and presented in final court proceedings she will look foolish and like a liar.

This could be the best thing that has happened towards recovering your M but you WW will have to decide to confront HERSELF with the truth.

Eph,

I have been where you are (twice!). And thank God for the way it turned out.

Listen to what was said above. No sex with her. Parent the kids as if she were never to return again. Learn to do this yourself. Document, document.

Your Plan A will now be made while at the same time having her miss her children. Not many women can take the fact that they lost their children. This will hit her hard!

So, dont push. Let this settle. Let her come to you. But dont gloat or rub it in. Keep on the mantra...let her see that her family continues...but without her. She can choose to be a part of the family...or live alone. Let this sink in.

Thank God for states like South Carolina and Virginia. It is too bad most of the other 48 arent like these two.

This is awesome for you and gives me hope going into my own court case..... what my lawyer said was that how goes the temporary hearing how goes the courts decision... you your on the right path, the biggest thing you can do is derail your own success. either by getting too confident or messing up... She is now on the defensive she will monitor you and what the kids say and what you do with the kids, so this is where your plan A should come into play, if you really have changed and really are better it will show here, you will handle the kids better you will deal with situations better, things will roll off as before you would react instead of act.

So you won the battle not the war.

Not to thread jack but I wanted to inject something that happend to me tonight.

We are following our LSA but are in court, On paper I get every other weekend and 3 days a week. In reality I get the kids 80% of the time..... So we are heading into the final stage of court and I am very sensitive to what goes on making sure. Tonight I let my 2 youngest play over at the neighbors (6&9) When I went to pick them up the friend mother said that her husband was having chess pains. Now my WW picks the kids up at 8pm. I get very few overnights with the girls - as WW knows CS is based on overnights but all waking hours the kids are with me - anyways I offered to watch the neighbor kids (9,5,3) and if need be they can spend the night with me after my kids go home... So I am on standby for them to come over... now my kids wanted to spend the night to help out and they always ask to stay overnight with me..... So they called their mom and explained the situation and she had been more depressed lately, anyways she said YES. So she knows that I would have 6 kids here on a school night and she knows okay with that she felt I was qualified to watch six kids overnight.... I have already written my lawyer. I think this will be huge in court on Thurs-Friday... As my sister says I am getting my case on a silver plater.

So hopefully this is a good week for both of us

Vike,

This shows that she has no qualms about your ability to manage your children and others and more importantly it shows the neighbors are perfectly willing to allow small children to come to your home for overnights. Document this and use it.

The other thing my two youngest daughter's got into a physical fight Sunday nigth and DD1(6) bit DD2 (9) cheek and left a mark. This happened on Sunday ninght and I took a picture of her cheek on Monday night and the mark is still there.

Just a taste of what is happening

BS = 21 Subpoena's I have issued
WW = 1 Subpoena's She has issued

So Eph get in the game and go, I too read the Ebook on father's right it helped.

Remember your lawyer will not win your case you will win your case. I have a very good lawyer, like him alot, but he is a passive person in this, he is doing his job. To use its personal. I ask 1000 questions and remind him of actions he needs to follow up on. I review all documents he sends out and get a copy of each item that is received. You control your lawyer not the other way around

That is really good new!!!! Now I suggest you give yourself a well- deserved pat on the back. You DID it. I know it is just temporary, but that is half the battle.

I think my lawyer was surprised at my actions. Right before we went to the court house, WW's lawyer put an offer out for no alimony, CS, and WW still with custody. It is interesting how as time went on alimony became a non-issue. They must have known I had something. I prayed and felt like the best interests of the children were not beign served.

The main reason for my getting custody was becuase the judge did not like that WW took the kids out of state and did not let me see them.

Afterwards after my lawyer told me he was a little surprised by the decision, I told him "Prayer works."

I assume that WW will get a copy of our documentation we submitted (becuase I got a copy of hers) and she will essentially know what I know now.

And yes, I agree that now she will be on the defensive and will monitor everything about me, keeping me under the microscope so to speak. It's a little scary actually, because I have not been involved significantly in caring for the kids in nearly 2 months.

BTW, I gave her a letter I wrote before we went into the court room, expressing my feelings and thoughts about her. I don't know if she read it or not. I know she will be watching me to see if my actions line up with my words.

Before I sign off for the night, I just want to say thanks to everyone for your encouragement and advice. I look at where I was when I started posting on here and many times you all had to kick me in the tail. Well it worked!! Thank you for believing in me, even when I did not believe in myself. Please stick with me through the rest of my journey.

Hopefully I can begin to pass on good advice to others who are struggling.

Kids that age are fairly easy. Try to get in a good routine. That makes things easy.

Sure hope you can cook.

I used to have dinner, and then some family time, then bath time, read them a story, and put them in bed by 8:00. I always let them "read" picture books after I read to them. They usually only lasted 10 minutes, and then I put out the light. Both my boys are now excellent readers, and it eliminated any fights about going to bed.

Keep copies of grocery receipts...to diffuse any allegation you've been misfeeding the kids.

Aren't you glad you moved back home now...WOW. I really hope I see you around this boards for years replaying your story to date. What a turnaround. Be proud of yourself. YOU did it...YOU came to MB...YOU listened, the advice is easy once you've lived through it but I'm telling you..your story is going to be bookmarked by me for the next guy that comes along fearful to move back into their own home. It would be more poignant if YOU were here to deliver the story; but, the story will live regardless.

Mr. Wondering

P.S. - Celebrate emotionally for a day or two but this is still a long battle. Treat yourself to something nice but don't let your guard down.

I hope my story can inspire others as well. I'll admit there were times I doubted I could do anything.

The next chapter (mediation) is just around the corner, though. No rest for the weary.

Eph,

Mr. Wondering is right. You had a lot of support here. But none of us...NONE of us...could fight this battle for you. I told that to you when we talked. Only you can fight this battle on the ground. Of course, He is with you in that.

As I have said before on this board...you do not have to wear a uniform to be a hero. A hero isnt someone who isnt scared. Bravery comes from overcoming those fears...from doing despite those fears. You did that!

I swear to you that one day...your wife will see that. She will remember your sacrifice for her and the kids. She will remember your stand for what is right. If she is no longer married to you, then she will go through the rest of her days with that knowledge...and that pain.

But the odds are always in your favor, Eph. And if/when she returns, it will be this stand...and the ones you still must take...that will engender respect and love in you again. Women cannot love a man they cannot respect.

You have earned the respect of so many here by what you have done. And whether she knows it or not yet...you have begun to earn hers also.