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S4B - Thanks for being a fan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Great words that picked me up this morning.
Reciting this verse today and tomorrow as well:
Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
The meeting with my lawyer went well. WW submitted a proposal that we looked over. I'll post more details later but from a custody standpoint she wants joint custody with her getting primary physical placement, gives me every other weekend from Thursday - Sunday and every Thursday night.
No way.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.
Plan A Thread Plan B Thread Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
No way is right! She chose to leave the family and home and she can carry the burden of seeing the children every other weekend, a weeknight a few weeks during summer, imo.
Stick to your guns and YOU are not attacking your WW, on the other hand she declared war on your family with her infidelity and desire to exit the family and M.
Can you imagine how hard she's going to crash when she finds out she won't get primary custody and she'll have to work because she won't get alimony OR child support (well, not much)? Her entitlement will take a HUGE blow.
Jim
BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
I agree - I don't think she wants to work a real job.
Before I left WW's house I said to her that I was ready for her to come home.
She went on this selfish rant filled with entitlement about how she was healthy, how she has gained weight, how she has toned from working out, and how she did all that while away from me. She said she was happy and she did not want to "stop being me." Said she did not think she could forgive me for calling the police on her when she was trying to take things from the house back in December.
<Sigh>
I am glad she is happy at everyone else's expense. Is that not the epitome of selfishness? I guess the thought of a BH trying to save a family from a destructive WW is too much for her to embrace right now and not honorable in her sight. I can only hope that one day she see the truth.
The only thing I am ashamed of is I left the house for 4 weeks; otherwise I am happy with myself for the way I have handled things.
God will be with me tomorrow.
Oh, I was thinking my lawyer could say something like "If WW gets custody she may be inclined to leave the state again like she already did once." To be honest, I actually do fear that.
In the words of the great Al Bundy - "Let's rock!"
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.
Plan A Thread Plan B Thread Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
First things first: "Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of faithful, lifelong marriage as an image of Your love for us and Christ's love for the Church. We come to You tonight knowing that of ourselves we are sinners unworthy to even be in Your presence...yet we come to You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord, and through His righteousness to humbly request that You would be with Eph525 at his court date tomorrow. May Eph525 honor and glorify Your name by acting in love and forgiveness toward his WW despite her hard-heart and sinful choices. May Your will be done for Eph525 personally and for his children and family in this court hearing as he obeys You and Your commands. We ask that You would move in WW's life and soften her heart so that Your Holy Spirit can speak to her and bring her back into submission to You. Finally, if WW is determined to turn her back against You and refuses to repent, we ask that You will protect Eph525 and his children and give them Your peace in their lives by giving him custody. Please allow WW to FULLY experience the consequences of her choices so that she will more quickly turn to You. Send ministering angels to Eph525 while he is in court so he feels Your presence and is assured that YOU are his rock and foundation.
In Jesus name,
Amen"
* * * * *
Next...may I share a humorous story with you?? My exH was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive--although he never balled up his fist and punched me. He broke things, punched walls, hurt my pets, pushed-shoved-restrained me, slapped, grabbed, held me over the railing on the stairs once...but he never punched me. Anyway, the final time we were separated he did numerous times come into our house while I was at work to take things from the house. Furthermore, while he was in the house, he did damage such as deleting my hard drive one time. So one day, I changed the locks. Late that afternoon, he tried to enter the house and found his keys no longer worked...and he was FURIOUS. He called my work SCREAMING so loud that the ladies in the cubicles around me heard it. When I got home that night, he had waited at the house so he could force his way into the house. I told him he could NOT come in--ELEVEN TIMES. ELEVEN TIMES I warned him that if he did not calm down and leave, that I would call the police...that I was picking up the phone...that I was about to dial 911...that I was dialing 911...etc. Did he calm down, get his wits about him, and leave?? NO!!! He stayed and screamed!! ELEVEN TIMES I gave him the opportunity to walk away, handle his anger in an appropriate manner, respect my boundaries, and behave civilly, and ELEVEN TIMES he chose to stay, continue his abusive tirade, disrespect me in my own home by being abusive, and rage.
When the police finally did arrive, several minutes later (like 10 minutes), had he calmed down and left? NO!!! He stayed and yelled at them...while they politely tried to diffuse the situation and requested that he leave the property for the night. They suggested that via his atty, he request specific items (versus wandering through my house taking things he wanted), schedule a date and time, and arrange for a police escort--but he was belligerent and ended up being taken away and charged with domestic violence and the equivalent of pushing an officer.
Now...do you suppose my exH thought to himself, "You know, I had the opportunity to walk away ELEVEN TIMES...and once the police arrived, I could have calmed down and just been civil...but instead I chose to be belligerent"???? NO!!! Let me quote for you:
"I have a domestic violence police record BECAUSE OF YOU!!! You should have NEVER called the cops on me!!!!!"
My prayers are with you today on your day at court!!! Stand your ground!!!
Mercy Me
Word of Speak.
I'm finding myself at a loss for words And the funny thing is it's okay The last thing I need is to be heard But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS] Word of God speak Would You pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see Your majesty To be still and know That You're in this place Please let me stay and rest In Your holiness Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You Beyond the music, beyond the noise All that I need is to be with You And in the quiet hear Your voice
[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]
I'm finding myself at a loss for words And the funny thing is it's okay
Eph, another song to encourage you!!!! We're all with you today!!!
MERCYME
Hold Fast
To everyone who's hurting To those who've had enough To all the undeserving That should cover all of us Please do not let go I promise there is hope
Hold fast Help is on the way Hold fast He's come to save the day What I've learned in my life One thing greater than my strife Is His grasp So hold fast
Will this season ever pass? Can we stop this ride? Will we see the sun at last? Or could this be our lot in life? Please do not let go I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone And there's no way that anyone could know What you're going through But if you only hear one thing Just understand that we are all the same Searching for the truth The truth of what we're soon to face Unless someone comes to take our place Is there anyone? All we want is to be free Free from our captivity, Lord
CJ - thanks for the prayer and sharing your story with me. You have been through so much and come so far. You are an inspiration to many here, including me.
Sky - thanks for the songs. I can't decide if I like Hold Fast or Praise You in the Storm better - both are incredibly inspirational and speak to me personally.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.
Plan A Thread Plan B Thread Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
no angry or frustrated expressions towards your wife as she spews lies on the stand as the judge will be watching YOU to see if you truly are about the kids versus punishing your wife for leaving you (which is what opposing counsel wants you to seem...a mean, controlling, vindictive, bitter, manipulative, maybe even abusive man)
Prayers here, Eph. Remember, the Lord will be standing beside you today! Eph+Jesus=Majority!
Standing in His Presence
FBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"
