Oh Eph!

She is playing buddy! She KNOWS exactly what your reaction will be to that strappy little top!

I do not begin to guess at her motives, but the no movement on the legal front makes me a bit hopeful for you.

You know I am no pro, it is just MHO.

I also know that when the WS senses we are at the end of our ropes, they play these games.

Wish I knew exactly what to tell you to do!

Just be good to yourself is the best I can do!

Here's the reason and the answer to your questions, regardless of the pain or the "reminders" - - -



(((((Eph525)))))

In my prayers. God WILL provide all that you need during this time.


God bless.

Was thinking last night - I think the fact that this weekend is Father's Day is triggering me.

Just thinking that, based on her behaviors, WW will probably not help the kids with any gifts. Not that I need any, because I have the two best gifts with me already.

Still, though it would be nice.

I don't think I mentioned this before, but WW drew a picture for DS6 when he was in the hospital. The picture only had WW, DS6, and DD3 in it. DS6 ALWAYS draws pics with all four of us.

What is that teaching him? The lie.

Hi, just popping in....I haven't really had anything to say but wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you!


((((E))))

You're going to be GREAT! You know this! Keep your head up!

Eph,

You know the WW does whatever to try to make her actions 'normal & accepted". She does it sometimes knowing full well what she is doing, and sometimes she does not realize it

YOU, however, see and feel each and every time as if is a stab to the heart, and I am so sorry for that pain you feel!

You have been pretty down lately, and very susceptable to triggers.

Remind me again of the timelines of your plans, please

I think if you can get focused back on the plans and less on WW's actions right now, you may feel better


{{E}}

Just more thinking,

By moving to a place of letting go, into a place of rest, I am feeling a lot of what I haven't wanted to feel while in plan A. Not that I was ignoring it, I just kinda setting it to the side so it did not take away from the energy and desire to carry out plan A.

feeling the pain that the M may be over, that is now up to WW to meet the guidelines I will put in plan B.

feeling rejection from WW.

feeling pain on behalf of my kids.

feeling anger at what she is doing to me and the kids.

I will be great eventually, just seems like I am in the valley of the shadow of death - the death of my M.


Thanks Bugsmom and FH for popping in. I covet your prayers.

Hi Eph,

I have to say I take great pride in reading your thread and I admire you so much. To me, you sound like the best father in the world and lets face it, you are right you need no gifts as you have the best gifts in the world in your kids. I feel that to, with my boys. I hope I can match your abilities some day.

Chris
P.S. So sorry to hear your pain take care man I'll be watching

Hey Chris - you changed your screen name and I lost your thread. Thanks for checking in - I need to catch up with your sitch.

Well I did a simple plan A gesture this morning. Before dropping off the kids we stopped and got some donuts to take to WW's place.

On the way home tonight I called WW to say goodnight to the kids. Well they were already in bed so I didn't get the chance. Funny how when the kids are home we try to call her even though they usually don't want to talk to her. I just said "OK, see you tomorrow. Bye" and hung up.

She then called me right back asking when I would be getting her the CS for the month. I told her she would have it by the agreed date. She commented that I had been paying her every two weeks, and I replied "Well I'm not exactly drowning in money right now." She paused and said "I'm not touching that one."

Whatever, neither of us would be in the financial situation we are in if......


Went to meet a guy from my Sunday School class tonight and it was like God knew what I needed and provided it through him and his encouragement.

As much as I get from everyone here, it's nice to get it face to face sometimes.

Hi Eph,

My thread is now called "advice needed continuously". I know what you mean when you said about speaking to someone face to face. I spoke to a vicar at my boys school the other day, as his son is in the same class as my youngest boy. Its nice that someone sees your views and listens.

Drop in my thread and you can read all about what's going on.

Head up and keep going my friend.

Chris

((((Eph)))))



Justifiable anger, righteous anger over sin against God.

God cannot even look at sin, it is that abhorrent to Him.

It (anger over these affairs) gives us a small inkling of God's righteous anger about sin.

It also gives us a very personal understanding of just what it cost God to forgive us.

FEEL your anger. Let it strengthen and fortify you in your stance for what is right and against the evil you are facing.

FIRE refines, strengthens, and hardens steel....and I hear your "bones" gaining strength in surrender to God and His will for your life.

God bless.

Just got word from my Realtor - an offer on the house is forthcoming (finally). I hope it's a good un.

HURRAY! Oh, I'll pray for you on that! Wishing you well...I think that you have some good advice otherwise!

Thanks again for the prayers! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Offer is in - It's really low, almost insulting. I'll probably counter and come off the asking price a little and see if they are serious. I know what the break even point is and they are a good bit under it.

I've made it clear that since WW wants to share in the possible profits that she should also share in the possible loss.

We will see.

Rin - One thing I talked about with my friend last night is that I need to start praying more for others and stop being so selfish with my prayers. Many fellow MBers will be lifted up. I am glad to do it since others have been doing it for me.

Good for you E...awareness!

Once again good 'ol E gets to save the day.

WW calls just before we are walking out the door to go to her place. As soon as I hear her voice I know what is up - she is sick again, stomach virus this time she explains.

This time she says "I hope the kids don't get it," instead of outright asking me to mot bring them over. I told her I would make other arrangements to day.

Some small plan A actions:

Asked her if she wanted me to bring her some soup
Asked her if she wanted some ginger ale or diet coke
Told her I would call later to check up on her.

So tell me again - where is she experiencing the consequences of her decisions? Maybe it's still to come.

I'm just frustrated. I'll have to stay home today because the usual people I call to watch the kids are busy.

Maybe we will go look at possible new houses today and try to make the best of it.

Oh, last night I took the kids to their first baseball game. We have a single A team for the Red Sox here in town. We had a blast. Take that!

Eph,


You are still documenting all of this (like above) aren't you?

And, a lot of us BS's are still waiting and watching for the "consequences" to follow the wayward's actions. Patience my man.,

trying to maintain some plan A through this as frustrating as it is.

TMed her around 11:30 asking how she was and if she was getting rest. She replied she was sleeping in between running to the bathroom, was hot and cold, really tired, etc. She did thank me for checking on her. I replied that we would bring her some chicken soup this afternoon and some other things to perk her up.

The kids and I will make some get well cards to take to her and maybe cheer her up. That's the best I feel I can do. Not going to give her the chance to say no, just gonna show up with the stuff.

Good plan! Steady as she goes on that.

Please remind me what stage your Plan B is in.

It sounds so similar to what I was doing!!! (Scary, the memories)

As Mortarman said, you stick with the plan. Re-assess as much as you can, and gain knowledge. It becomes easier as you learn to value yourself again!!!

It often helped me to visualize my FWW (WW at the time) with an actual alien head during her times of anger!! I mean to literally look at her, tilt my head and look at her with a big old green head with 2 big beatty eyes!! It works!! At least it took my attention away from the vile coming out of it's mouth!

God bless,
MWIL

I TMed WW:
Unlock the doors, I am coming over to take care of you for a while.

She TMed me back:
I don't need or want anything. Not hungry. Just need more sleep. Am tired. Will be fine once this is over.

I am gonna TM her back:
I can either leave it on the porch or in the house. Your choice.