Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1775913 11/30/06 11:55 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 5
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 5
Well, here’s my story - hope I can keep it short. Wife and I both 29 years old. Been married for close to 10 years. Have 2 kids (14yr. old daughter (hers from previous marriage) and 6 year old son). Up until 2 – 3 months ago, I thought our marriage was doing o.k. Sure, we had some problems, but I thought we were still “o.k.”. Then wife got a new job, which she REALLY likes (and REALLY likes her boss). Long story short, I was having some emotional problems, and I understand that I was not meeting her EN (and had not been for a long time). So about a month ago, my suspicions of her relationship to her boss seemed to be confirmed by the cell phone bill. Some calls at inappropriate times and dates, etc. I went to see a counselor (both for me personally, and to start dealing with the problems in our marriage). He seemed to agree with me that “something” was going on. I kept quiet to her about what I knew, as counselor directed me to, and with information I found here, started being a better husband in the EN area, etc. When the counselor had a session 1 on 1 with her about a week ago – she admitted that she had been pursuing “something else” – but that she was backing off of it since she had seen some changes in me, and knew that I was trying to work things out. The counselor didn’t want to push her right then, so he didn’t get any more information – just that she had been “pursuing something else”. Right now that’s where I’m at. I know something has happened – whether EA and/or PA is not known.

It’s so hard to think about. The scenarios running through my mind are just unbearable – the business (???) trips the two took, her “working late”, etc. I just can’t handle the thoughts anymore – so I contacted the counselor and told him that I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. I have to know what’s really going on (or what did happen, if she’s truly backing off of it). I have an appointment tomorrow with him, and then we are going to set up an appointment for the both of us where he will mediate the “confession”, if she will confess to me.

I’m so scared of that – I want to know but am scared to find out. What hurts the most is knowing that she really does LOVE her job – it’s the type of job she’s been waiting a LONG time to find, one that is a once in a lifetime position in our location (I am NOT willing to relocate). I know that when there is any type of A at work, the WS should immediately quit their job to sever the ties with the OP. But I know that if I were to demand that, WW would hold a HUGE amount of resentment against me for it, or even worse, would choose the job over me. So I’m not sure how to handle that. Any thoughts? Any advice for me during the appointment when/if she admits something – what should I do, say, etc.???? Thank you in advance to anyone with advice. I have felt really alone during all of this, and just lurking around this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you.

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 116
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 116
If you do not get any responses, you might want to try posting in the General Categories II section of the forum.
Good Luck with your situation. Sorry you are here.

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
I reposted your original post in the Infidelity/General Questions II with a response under the title "SilverCrsnt's Story." That board gets quite a bit more traffic and plenty of posters will offer you wonderful advice. I'm still relatively new, but I try and help out when I can.

- Jim


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 682 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ameliamartin, Nicholas Jason, daisyden878, Oren Velasquez, Kerniol
71,999 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by Oren Velasquez - 06/16/25 08:26 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by happyheart - 06/10/25 04:10 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0