I've posted this before, but I am in desperate need of a response...
This may be a little long, but please stick with me because I'm in so much pain. I have hurt my husband! We dated for 3 years and have been married for almost 9 years. We have a 7 yr old daughter. As I grew up my father constantly cheated on my mother, causing great pain and issues for me. I have been on Zoloft for a while trying to get over everything. This all happend just before my H and I got married. Over the past few years, my H would blow up at how I treat him bad. He says I talk down to him and treat him like a child. He says that I don't love him (which I do very very much). We would talk through it and he says I would be different for a week or two and then back to the old same stuff. Well, this time, he says he's done. He says he can't allow himself to be put in the same place where I step all over him again. We have an awesome friendship. We can sit and watch movies together and laugh and stuff...but he isn't sure he loves me anymore. He says he's not willing to let himself get hurt again. I have told him everything I could to show him I will not be the same old person. He's never been this serious before. He says that maybe one of us should leave for a little while to see what happends. So, I packed my bags and was going to take my daughter and myself to my mom's. My husband said it killed him to know that I was pulling my daughter out of her own bedroom/house to go somewhere else. He has no where to go. So, he told me to stay. We talked with our friends last night and they asked him if he was ready to live without me. He said he didn't know but if I have to have an answer RIGHT NOW, the answer is Yes...he's ready to live without me. But its our daughter that is holding him here. He says he's miserable. I love my husband with all my heart. I've tried so hard to be nice to him (cards, etc...) it makes him mad.He said that it makes him sick to even see me cry because I should have done it before when he actually had some feelings or emotions. He said that now he has no feelings at all; he's hard hearted and doesn't care about anything. He says its too late, I should have done that a long time ago. What do I do? HELP ME!!!!!!!! He wont talk to anyone about it so couseling is out. He just doesn't want to talk about it.. not even to me! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, first off, try to take some breaths & calm down. Second, have you read up on Harley's Emotional Needs? I used to be in the same boat as you, speaking to my husband like that, treated him badly. The result -- he had an affair w/someone who treated him as he should have been treated.

I know it will be difficult but one of the things I'm going to ask you to do is thank your H for being honest w/you. Not many men will do that. They'll just avoid conflict & find someone else, so kudos to your H for pointing this out to you in time to save your M. What? you're asking. Yes, it can be saved. It's not too late. It's never too late when you're dealing w/God. This is a cry out & God heard it & will be answering you.

It is hard to change a behavior we've had for so many years, but believe me, it can be done. It's going to take patience & perseverance. First, ask God to soften your H's heart toward you. Do not worry if it takes a while. God will do it. Sometimes we don't see the results right away, but nothing is impossible w/God. Please remember this.

Is your H in an A? Are you sure if he said that he isn't?

I would almost promise he isn't...but then again, who really knows? My dad cheated on my mom for about 15 years and he was there through a lot of it and saw how it affected me. He promised me over and over all 11 years of our relationship that he'd NEVER do that to me, he'd tell me first. I asked...he said that he couldn't handle me...how could he handle someone else. I asked again after that... he said that he would NEVER date or anything like that because he wouldn't want to get into another relationship. I don't know. I only know what he tells me.