So I just posted on this board a few hours ago and thought I should elaborate on some more things as well. First of all I got my wifes confession after first bluffing her and saying I had seen all the text messages since I am in the technology industry she does not know how difficult that could be but I bluffed her anyway, and that I would forgive her and not tell anyone. Part of plan A is to revel the affair which would make me a liar. I have already done some things wrong in our marriage and lied about some things in the past few weeks, mostly because I was spying on her and needed to know. I feel vindicated though for all the crap I got from her ove over the past few weeks that she was not having an affair. Secondly the lesbian relationship she had with her best friend goes a little deeper. After she had her encounter with the person she then brought her into our relationship and we had a few encounters. I feel very remorseful of that and have told my wife several times whenever she brings it up. I feel like I should tell the husband of this woman but do not want to destroy another marriage and both women will say I am just saying things because of my current situation, I also want to tell the husband that the OM is now calling his wife as well but do not feel like it is my place. In any case I am trying to work on an amicable divorce meaning that there will be no lawyers involved and we work out the finances for the best for both of us but I am thinking to myself as well that this needs to stop and I need to take a stand and let her know the things she has done are wrong and they need to stop.

I am very new to this board, but I will tell you that I am a BS lesbian and IMO the relationship your wife has had with this woman is definately crossing a line, would you allow her to remain friends with OM after A ends?? why then is it ok for the OW? an A is an A regardless that it was a woman, but maybe she feels that if you were also involved then she has/had your consent. bottom line is it bothers you, and it should. does she realize how the contact with OW makes you feel??

Yes she does. I do have some concerns about implementing Plan A that I will deal with next week. Those are:
Do I reveal to others the lesbian relationship
Do I go back on my word? I told her I would not tell anybody in order to get the confession out of her. This was before I new what plan A was. Now I have to do it as implementing plan A and saving my marriage is more important.

By being honest with the H, you will not be destroying his M. That was already done by his wife's infidelity. You'll just be breaking the web of deception that his WW has likely weaved around him.