My ex called me and she misses me and wants to be in a relationship. She says that she has gained a lot of depth since the breakup and has knows what she wants in her heart.

JUST KIDDING!

I saw my counselor and I'm back on my meds and I took the week off to be with my family and friends. I still cry and miss the fantasy of what I thought we had together. Reality is sometimes hard to take although it's always there. You all helped me to see that.

I did see her yesterday at the office and she said Hi and walked right past me. I said Hi back and although it hurt and I went home to cry some more, it is the only way that we could interact without hurting eachother.

It's funny, I think she feels like she lost her best friend and I feel like I lost my soul mate, albeit an "unrealistic one" on both sides. I can never get used to saying goodbye to people but in this case, I have to.

Coughlin,

I'm sorry to see your post sitting here so lonely.

It's great to hear you've gone back to your Dr. & you're back on meds. Now all you need is time to care for yourself.

From your post it sounds like you're still a bit tied up with this girl. I can't imagine how you will heal with her prancing about & you being on the lookout.

Get theyself away from this girl!

i think we are afraid to respond because we have seen posts similar to this before and then.... boom!

another post about how he is so in love with her and how can we help him make her love him back...

i am just waiting this one out.....

mlhb

but, good move to be back with counselor and on meds... very good move.

Coughlin,

A relative of mine went through a horrible depression. He too had a girl he loved very much that had broke up with him, that triggered with many other sad things in his life added to his depression. He got to his lowest point and then started going to counseling. None seemed to help, the drugs drugs gave him a little help but were a temporary fix and definitely he knew drugs were not a permanent solution. Then finally he went to a program with individual and group counseling, their motto was, "Fake it til you make it." They told the group that for months each of them have stamped on their brain, "I'm sad", "I'm depressed", "Nothing in life is worth it any more". etc. and by doing this every day your brain starts believing it more and more, and eventually it becomes very hard to convince your brain life is really good and you can be happy again. You have sort of "brain washed" your own brain in a very negative way. So now you need to "Fake it til you make." Your brain needs to be stamped, "I'm happy.", "Life is going to get better." "Life is good", "I am a good person", "I am worth it" over and over. Your brain won't buy it at first but don't give up because it will happen.

I think that counseling was over two years ago now. He listened and did it, and every time he started feeling down he would say, "Fake it til I make it." and he would put a smile on his face. As days past, he found he had to say this less and less. He made sure he exercised, changed his diet and ate healthy. He did things he didn't want to do at first but he knew he had to fake it all at first. Then slowly his brain didn't have to fake it any more. He is now really happy, life to him is now good, when he smiles it's not fake anymore. He has new friends, a lot of girls interested in him and a new life.

So any way, just hoping this may help you too.

A

Great advice, Anna. I’ve battled depression off and on, and one of the techniques I learned from my psychiatrist is to actually do battle with it. When I’m depressed or starting to get depressed, I tell myself all kinds of really great things. So, if the depression says, “I really want to hide out in bed today,” I say “I’m getting up because I won’t be beaten. And today is going to be GOOD!” And, when my feet hit the ground, I score one for me. If my depression says I look like a blimp, I put on something sexy and say “No, I look enticing.” Only half of me believes all the positive self-talk, but the part that does believe is the part possessed by the depression. So, I’m faking it until I make it.

I also regularly practice reframing. So, when something doesn’t go the way I want it to, I try to look at it in a different way so that I can find the positive. Or at least make peace with the event. Do I always believe the silver lining? Not a first, but it usually does turn out to be for the best.