First off, I'm 36, been divorced once and then lived with a girl for about 4 yrs. My current wife is 32, never been married. We have been married for one month. We met online and married 7 months later. Here's the problem: we were dating for about a month. I work a swing shift (12hrs at a time). One day I went up to her house after getting about 2-3 hrs. sleep after a night shift. I was extremely tired, but I wanted to mow her lawn for her while she was at work so we could spend time together after she got home. After I mowed her lawn, we went out to eat. We were discussing food (I'm a picky eater) and she asked me what my ex-girlfriend used to cook. I answered a couple things, and while I was trying to think of some others, I zoned out. I could feel my eyes start to water from staring and I knew it looked like I was starting to cry and I got embarrassed. She automatically assumed I was crying over my ex-girlfriend, but I wasn't. We had a fight, broke up for a couple days, and then got back together. She said she would get over it in time. Well, she hasn't and I think she is actually getting worse. She now thinks I'm still in love with my ex-wife, whom we weren't even talking about at the time of the incident. I have searched the deepest parts of my soul over this matter. I may still care a little about my ex, but I would never take her back. I love my wife with all of my heart and go to great lengths to show her how much I love her and appreciate her, but it doesn't seem to matter. During our conversations about this matter, I started to think she was actually still hung up on her ex. She has told me that her and her ex were "the real deal" but she left him because he basically wouldn't grow up. Now I find myself getting depressed when she doesn't seem happy and it's bringing my self esteem way down. Both of us are in a rut. We have a counseling appointment coming up, but I'm worried about having to see a counselor so early in our marriage. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
