My wife and I have been seperated for about two months. We went from being somewhat fine to me moved out in about 3 weeks. We had a 18 month old son and a eight year old stepdaughter. The seperation was a combination of jealously and resentment on my part because of her relationship with a coworker. She also felt that I was just going through the motions and wasn't really happy.

The last two months have been ******. I made lots of mistakes. I went into a deep depression and completely shut myself away from family, frieds, and my wife/kids. My wife broke down and filed for divorce and a custody hearing because I refused to have any contact with them. I called her and we finally spoke after I was served the papers. The custody hearing was cancelled.

I saw my children for the first time in nearly two months on Saturday. I have never wanted a divorce. I pulled myself away because I felt as if it would be impossible to cope seeing them all the time.

My wife and I embraced each other several times during the visit for over a minute. I know the love is still there on both sides. I told her I had made some mistakes and that I still loved her and I wanted to make things work. I had made the mistake early in the seperation that she must have a decision now now now. That did not go over very well. This time I told her to take some time and think about it. That I was wrong for trying to force a decision out of her. She agreed to think about working through our problems.

She wants me to come see the kids again sometime this week. I very much want to see them but I'm afraid of putting pressure on her. I'm very confused and don't want to ruin any last chance we have of making this work. Has anybody ever been in this situation before?

Well, just about every one of us has been on one side or the other. Some of us have been on both sides.

When deciding how to behave, you need to think about what’s best for the children first. Obviously, it’s not in their best interests to have you disappear from their lives. So, I say you visit them.

Now, read this entire site. Read about the Basic Concepts. If your wife has a high need for Family Support, it’s the best thing for your marriage to spend time with her and the kids. She would need that. Also read up on Plan A. You can find that in the infidelity section, but it’s been successful with women who separate when there is no one else in the picture.

There’s some real hope for your relationship.