I think I may be going crazy. I recently found an e-mail on my husband's computer which I found suspicious. It was an e-mail he'd sent. His message was "are you available?" I did some investigating of the e-mail address he'd sent it to. Well, I'm still in shock... The website was for classified ads for escorts. Here comes the zinger, he e-mailed a transsexual. I was numb, I'm still numb. I confronted him with all this info and he has the nerve to say, "he doesn't know what I'm talking about...he didn't send this e-mail...why am I snooping around?...I have too much time on my hands and I'm being paranoid."

I don't know what hurts more; finding this out, or his reaction. I told him how insulting his reaction is, and that HE was making a fool of ME! At least if he would be honest and come clean with me I wouldn't feel like I was going crazy. His defense is classic...just deny everything.
I have no way to prove anything else.

Maybe I was premature. I should have kept quiet and gathered more info before confronting him. Now, he's probably much more cautious. But, I just couldn't keep quiet, I'm SO MAD, SAD, CRUSHED!!!! My world has been turned upside down. I keep second guessing myself.

What's worse is the question...IS HE GAY? or BI? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Any advice???

Nshock1, welcome to MB. Sorry you have to be here but it's a great place under the circumstances.

The short answer to your question is: Because he wants to keep both his marriage AND his pursuit of other people.

Gather more info and keep posting here - there are many folks here who can help.

Hang in there.
Mulan

Sorry, you have to be here. You may have nipped something in the bud, or you are just seeing the top of the iceberg.

But you are someplace that you can get alot of help. All you have to do is hang around to get it.

Give us some more detail on the M. Length, state of the M, Kids, etc, so we can address some of your particulars.

Is he Gay? or Bi? Who knows. But what is does mean is that your H was searching for something that was missing in the M. What do you think it was?

Read up on Sexual Addiction.

Thank you for your replies. I'm glad I stumbled on this website. It does help to know that you're not alone.

Well, I've been married for 15 years with 2 children. I'm a stay-at-home mom for the last few years. Husband is a good provider. In my opinion, he has a narcissistic personality. He's controlling, opinionated, charasmatic. He's always been well groomed, but for the last few years, I've noticed more attention to his weight and grooming. Also, almost every time we had sex he would suggest a threesome with a man or woman. I always skirted the suggestion and insisted that a threesome is better kept a fantasy than a reality, but he is persistant and keeps trying. In reality, it crushed me to know that the man I loved would want to share me with anyone.

I know he loves me and doesn't want our marriage to end, but I'm very confused with this new dynamic that I've stumbled along. I think that he's in denial with whatever sexual-identity issue he has. I suggested therapy, but he was adamantly opposed to it. Said that it was a waste of money. Well, I told him that if he wouldn't go with me, than I would go alone. He doesn't want me to go either, but I told him that he couldn't stop me.

I don't know what else to do. I do know that if I didn't have kids and was financially independant I would have already walked out the door...

1. go to your doctor
explain your concerns
ask to be tested for all STDs

2. read about GPS device to place on his car
you need to track where he is going

3. don't threaten anything
hold your tongue until you have been tested and you have tracked his whereabouts with GPS

CLICK HERE [color:"red"] <~~~ here [/color]

I second this one.
Mulan