Good Morning, RX! I hope that you are doing well!

As far as the hurting...I am doing amazingly well...thank you for all of your thoughts and being able to relate...

You're right...God's will on the part of my WS is not being carried out...nor is the relationship with his spirituality...However, I'm trying to do my part...I'm trying to carry out my part of God' will...his plans for me...

I understand that human beings ARE reluctant to follow God's will...I feel that I have been reluctant when I was going to geta D and I felt like God put three stop signs in front of me that day, a few months ago...

I believe that RIGHT NOW I have to be patience...now belive me I know that I have a right to change my mind on this and I will not hestiate to get a D should I have to.

I believe that I'm being asked to be patience a little longer...perhap I haven't learned my lesson...perhap this lesson is for WH...I don't know...

I feel safe where I am right now...and that's kind of strange to me...to feel safe in a crisis sitch...usually I feel anxiety, sometimes panic, a ton of bricks on my chest...

But not this time...it's a peace...I've had to tell myself to be still in the past and really had to work on it but I don't feel that I have to work at it this time...

WH has questioned that he may have an addiction...he said "I'm starting to wonder whether it's an addiction." This was months ago...there's a process that an addict goes through...first they start to question themselves, then they admit it and search help...

PRoblem here is that this has been a part of WH and I's live for 13 years...an addiction like that is hard to break...I've had problems breaking my own...

I just admitted that to myself this past week...now I'm wondering are you always an SA...I mean in my case I was using it as a tool...

Well, I have to get out of here right now...I'll be back this afternoon...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

((((((RX))))))) Thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rin,

OK I read about the contact last week and I was really mad for you. I felt like if I posted I would pass some serious DJ's on your WH so I refrained from saying anything and thought about it.

First do I think that you being mean was bad or wrong, I DON'T, sometimes IMVHO you say for get being the bigger person, forget being the light house or whatever. Just be mean. I know it isn't a popular response hear and biblically speaking it probably isn't right. Let me say this if someone acts like a stinky ho bag telling them in no uncertain terms the acted like a stinky ho bag isn't wrong it is speaking the truth.

If telling the WH you have contempt for him is the truth then speak it. If it hurts him so be it. What should hurt is not the words but the fact HIS ACTIONS ARE THE CAUSE of these feelings.

Of course he is kissing your butt. He is willing to give you some crumbs right now. Keep you where he wants you.

That won't change. So what is your plan?

I noticed the same thing about my FWW in that she didn't give me what I Truely wanted after something like this she just kissed some butt for a while and then right back.

Not until the time I said I was done. I didnt' waffle. I sat in front of the MC and said I was done. I sat in front of her and said I was done. No matter what she tried I didn't care. I was done.

I told her she finally reached the point where I was 100% sure I could leave the M with no remorse later in life. That is what I needed and she provided it.

Then she actually really changed. I see it everyday now.

We have our slips but now we communicate to the root of the problem very quickly.

We are a team. I continued to let her step over the cliff and then walk back. I let her decide if my boundries were ok with her. Now I tell her she crossed it and she appologizes. As do I.

Are you ready to enforce what you know to be true?

HI, Frog...I'm keeping my attitude...I'm not calling him...I'm not making any special effort as where he is concerned...I'm not letting him know where I'm going...brief answers...

I'm not settling for crumbs...I'll keep up this attitude as long as it takes...It's time for me to be stubborn, that's usually WH's department...

Yesterday, the GN's H asked if WH could go for a ride in his new truck...I said I don't care if you take him to Canada and leave him there.

I'm actually hoping for your results...I'm using my emotions to propel me...

We're going to get some finacial stuff out of the way in the next few months that will REALLY help. WH said something yesterday about buying something...I said I'm not buying anything anytime soon.

I also don't want to talk about the future with him...I know that I'm not taking the high rode with dealing with him but I really don't care...

I like it this way and I will tell him that I don't want to love him anymore...I'm not making that choice every day like I was...

I think that I'm good to start saving...we're really in a tight spot but there's light...I still have all the documention that I need...and when it comes down to it...I will be going after EVERYTHING I can get from WH...

Before I was willing to be nice and settle...it's a different ball park now...

I did write his mom Friday and let her know...I said that I didn't want her to do anything that I was betrayed again...what trust I had was gone...thanked her for helping me and being there for me...that I appreciated everything that she's done for me and the kids...

When I chose to leave the next time...everything will be packed and we will just disappear...F him...

On a different subject, I was wondering is respect earned or given? My thinking is that respect is earned...I read an article that said respect is not earned...it is given...regardless...

I guess I'm doing PLan FU until furthur notice...I'm really happy about recognizing the pattern and the a&&kissing...

I even said that I was going to have to learn how to say A&&hole in French...he laughed...we were around a few people...our friends...I've never called him an a&&hole before...

Now, when talking with my sponsor, I noticed that I did exactly what the PA wanted...I got angry and I still am...now WH doesn't have to be angry b/c I am...in his mind, he's won this round...hence the kissing up...I'm displaying the emotions for him...question is how long do I have to keep being a b1tch...

I will end up calling the cops at some point you can bet on it...just to show him I mean business...here I am I can't leave the house with the kids...remember the night the kids were at the sitter's and he was trying to track me down...

Well, I've got a place to go...and then I can see about getting some help from there...my sponsor is backing me up with this...domestic violence will not be toleranted...

I was actually hoping that he would throw something in my direction or break something so I could call the cops...I want him too...

Can you tell I'm letting my negative feelings help me with his? I use to do the same thing in the past but it's different...it feels different...I'm not using them to punish him...

I even yelled at him that "This is the consequences of your actions!"

I'm feeling more of where you have been...Thank you for your experience...

I talk to myself often about WH in my head...just thinking of things I want to say to him...I'll get there...

Wow.. Rin... Don't stay in that environment. If it's as bad as it sounds, you just need to get out now. Just wash your hands of it and go. There is no winning with him.

I know you say you think it's time to be patient, but maybe you are feeling so safe right now so that your head stays clear and you can think of the things that need to be done in order for you to vacate this marriage.

You are still young. Get out of this marriage and find someone who will treat you right. You don't have to deal with this anymore.

I'm worried about you, Rin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I don't want you to get hurt.

Thank you RX! It's not as bad as it sounds...

Both WH and I have come a long way from where we use to be...

Sorrow and suffering may us who we are...I am grateful for the things that I have been through in my life...should I have to end this M, I will only be wiser and better for it...I have been through alot WORSE than I am going through right now...

I really do appreicate your care and concern, I truely do...

Looking back the valleys are no as low as I thought they were at the time...I don't mean safe as in WH will hurt me physically...I mean I feel safe in my own skin being where I am...

The reason why I hope that he would do something like throw something in my direction is to prove a point...I'm not taking his Sh1t anymore...it's a regret that I have from the past...I wish I knew that was an option for me when he was doing it...destruction of property...

WH will not put his hands on me...one he knows better, two he doesn't believe in it...this is a fact with him...I'll definitily call the cops on him in that case...

Hey, you ever hear LA say that worrying is like praying for the things you don't want...

LMAO...please don't worry about me...

YOU are such a wonderful person! Someone is going to be extremely blessed with you one day...I know that I am, just to have you on my side... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Modification to this statement. "I will always love you, but I don't always like you. I can't see staying with someone I love but don't like."

All talk of the future should end as well as any commitment. Financial or otherwise.

My point was getting to where I was done being the nice reasonable person because I didn't want the M to end. Not just because I loved her but for criminey sakes if I read another article about D and kids I will shoot myself. I wish I could see an article about a cheating spouse causing crud and D. How horrible that is for the kids. Dang media making D sound like the worst thing in the world. Women gets beaten by H every day but if she leaves them the kids will be crack addicts.

If he doesn't want to change he won't!!!

If your being nice isn't working try something new. If that works then keep doing it.

Here is what I think. If being nice is good for him and not for you then why do it. If being mean is good for you but bad for him then you need to think.

The way it SHOULD BE is that you are nice to him and it works for both of you. It should be reciprocal.

That is the way an M is supposed to work.

I like that!


LMAO...shoulds are always nice...


This is what I know...the difference is that I feel like I'm forcing a sitch here...it's getting to the part that I'm not enabling him anymore...

Oh, I told him about that too...WH asked why I told him that I wasn't going to handle his stuff anymore...I said that I wasn't going to call YOUR BOSS and lie to him for you...That I thought it was his job if he wanted to come to the parent/teacher meeting...

I straight up told him that I'm not lieing for him...yesterday, we were standing at the GN's and WH lied about something...well, drug out the truth...I looked at hima dn he looked at me but I didn't say anything because I felt that it didn't involve me...I wasn't in the conversation and he wasn't asking me to back him up...

But he knew I knew he was lying! That's what was important to me...I wanted to see his face when he looked at mine and knew that I knew he lied!

I would love to disappear for a week and not let him know where I am...no work, no WH, just me and the kids...

Yes they are and if I don't get what I SHOULD then I am not giving what they want. LOL. If I should get a thank you and I don't then think twice about asking me again. LOL.


You are forcing a change perhaps. What is wrong with that?

The change you may be forcing may to be to your betterment. Or the change is good for you.

Hopefully it is good for your M too. I think it is but that is just my opinion.

Now if your H thinks his ideas of a good M are "real" then what?

I do not think you want an open M or you wouldn't be here. So then what.

He may have decided that he really doesn't believe what he is doing is wrong. Or that may be his decesion as long as you are still there.

Sometimes you need to push back.

Now as far as violence is concerned I agree with everything you have said.

Now here is the 2x4.... Stop jumping back so soon when he offers you crumbs or an olive branch.

You have plan A's enough. You have given him many chances.

You keep taking him back without making him work too hard to get back.

VALUE YOURSELF OR HE WON'T!!!!!!!! I know you do but make sure he understands how valuable Rin is.

Rin,

You were on my mind yesterday, as we watched your Saints...and I told DH about your recent events...of going to the bar where OW had been during WH's bday...the triggers...how you were taught to face your fears by reclaiming the place, the space...and my DH said...

"Oh, but what about him?"

Geeesh...here we were, looking at you a week ago Sunday...your way of being present, enjoying instead of getting lost in the trigger...and we didn't say...what...isn't that same place a trigger for your WH?

Gosh. So DH and I talked about all the places we've reclaimed and he pointed out, there's a lot of those places we don't go...we don't reclaim. We changed what we had to, and the rest, we didn't go back to...and all the while, we talked about it...if I was triggering, if he was...

And he was. He said that about a bar we used to go to during his A...and OW wasn't even there. His mind went immediately there when I told your story, Rin, and of the contact during the week. He said, "I think it's out of business now, anyway...but I wouldn't go back there."

I said, "I was with you there, not her. I don't understand."

"To me, it was during that time and I feel awful about the place, my guilt, your suffering."

Rin...triggers aren't just yours...they are his, as well. Protecting your marital boundaries means giving up that bar, those friends (if they were part of the A)...whatever it takes...and the talking...the speaking honestly, before you are angry, sharing how you did what you did that Sunday...what it felt like...and asking about him...his experience...

He remains the sole owner of contact...no excuses. Awareness.

If you choose to believe we earn respect, then you believe you earn love, punishment...through actions. The respect we talked about was knowing and acting from reality...we are all separate and equal...and if you lash out at others, you are lashing out at yourself...permission to destroy...

I agree wholeheartedly with stating your stuff...This is unacceptable. Contact continues the A. This is your refusal to protect our marriage. I'm on my next to last boundary enforcement...which is to separate. I feel incredible pain, anger and frustration...I'm not feeling afraid...I'm feeling attacked and discarded...both at once.
I know only you know why you do what you choose to do. I know only you can protect our marriage from your choice to have affairs (pluralize).

I know you can recover from pain...you know that, too. What I don't see you recoverying from is chopping off your self-respect to get at his...when you don't know if he has any or not...and you certainly have been building your own...it's precious and real and I don't want you to lose that in yourself.

How adult are you feeling? I'm not asking you to lay down and take anything...I've been asking you for predetermined progressive boundary enforcements...not crisis to crisis reactive drama. You're not in crisis. He chooses, you choose.

He chose contact.

You choose...what enforcement are you on now?

Where's the whole abuse thing happening now?

You can't use it in retrospect...meaning, it's okay when he isn't in contact, and not okay to do when he is...

You know that.

I see you as in the way of his consequences and your own. Blocking, dodging...changing.

Yes, different...not sweeping under the rug...doing the opposite is still sick...where you're beating others with the rug or rubbing their nose into the floor under it.

Middle ground, Rin...like FNM said...stating I'm done. You are done with contact, aren't you? You are done with reacting to crisis instead of preparing, correct?

I thought you were with last contact, as well.

And yes, MC is the only way back, IMO.

Being in the mindset that you don't want to expose the kids to feeling torn...THEY ALREADY ARE. What you do to WH, they feel. What he does to you, THEY FEEL. Get this. Stating quietly, calmly, away from the house...at a place in public...here's reality...we are all experiencing deep damage from infidelity. Contact continues any affair. Recovery begins all over again. I know you know this. We are here to decide if you are moving out tonight or am I? I believe you can own and amend your choice by moving out. I am hoping through separation and MC we can save our marriage. I cannot do that alone. When you contact OW, you attack me, our marriage and our children. You know that. If you will not move out, I will take the kids with me to a safe place. I will not limit your contact with our kids...however, I need a schedule and a decision on if you're going to stay in the home while your family has to move out, or if you're going to work on our marriage and your first act of commitment is moving out tonight."

You're strong, loving being, Rin. When you feel entitled and resentful, you aren't being strong...may feel like it. It's not. It is our weakness, our youngest childlike feelings...not real. Stay real. Your children need you in reality, and your marriage does, as well.

Do not confuse retaliation with patience; enduring with patience (you double your betrayal)...or saying what is unacceptable and accepting it.

Get your ducks in rows and your rows in order...you can do this. You can do this so you soar with pride in yourself, your choices and actions...your words.

Lean on God to let you know that your choices, made from love and respect, for yourself, your marriage and your family ARE the right ones. When they are from convenience, function or to smooth...they usually are not.

LA

No, I don't! MOF, I just got off the phone with my sponsor...I was calling to check in with her and let her know that I'm well. She asked if I had goten anything out of the open AA meeting that she brought me to Sat. night.

I said Yes, that it really put it into prospective how an alcoholic and addict are...the addiction...that I had not thought of myself as being an addict before but that I was doing the same thing that they do...using SF to make me feel better about myself and that it had stopped working for me years ago...

However, I had him and the peer pressure and then, I just started saying no that I wasn't going to do it anymore.

Now, WH is still addicted and I'm addicted to him according to my S...and it's true...

If change is not made on his part that I have to end the insanity and save myself and my children...


I'm to that point...thinking back his crumbs will last anywhere from three or four days to a week...

So, I know what I have to do...I have to keep up what I'm doing and life my life...I want to start going to more meeting to get out of the house and maybe start visiting more people...get involved with some other organization...something, anything...

I'm getting really good at focusing on me....

Oh, my S started that Wh is either going to tag along or be left out in the cold...she agrees that WH doesn't feel bad enough...hasn't hit rock bottom yet.

I stopped all my crap when it didn't feel good anymore...I can relate to what he's going through...

My S said that He's addict to SA and I'm addicted to him. I was said that I don't think that I'm addicted now, but then, I thought well the alcoholic is always addicted. So, that's why she said that!

Frog, I'm telling you man...I'm slowly getting to a point where I'm thinking more clearly every day and I will not emotionally want a D but logically want one...I want a D last time b/c I was feeling like I was crazy again...

LA-hi, I just saw your post...I have to go do something but will be back to post...Thank you for gracing me today... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rin,

I am not advocating leaving your H or getting a D. I just put it out there that it is an option.

I think your sponsor is right.

Funny thing about stuff like this. I always have a story that makes it worth while. LOL.

We have lived in the same place for years now. My FWW took my OS to school every day. She was a SAHM. She always seems to think she has the best way to get anywhere. So one day we are going to school for something and she informs me about the RIGHT way to go. So I start going that way.

This year we get a new neighbor. I notice he leaves after me but gets to school sooner. Well guess what he had the best way to go. It was a breeze getting there and it was quicker.

I will be damned if half the time I forget to go the RIGHT WAY I JUST LEARNED. It kills me too because the new way is just so much easier and it gets me where I want to go.

I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes the way you try to get where you are going becomes ingrained even though you know an easier better way to go.

After time the newer easier way will become habit.

Contact is a NO NO and he knows that and he is pushing you to see what happens.

You stopped a D once. I hope he doesn't make a D the only choice before he decides to change.

Good luck rin.

(((((RIN)))))

I don't have any advice. Just (((((hugs))))).
Man, this has been a heck of a road for you!

-AmI.

Great job on the AA. It's a big plus for me right now. A lot of what I learned in AA has helped me let go of fears and let God deal with it.

Since then, everything has been slowly falling into place. 3 steps forward 1 step back....but it's constant.

Keep up the willingness to improve yourself. Congrats on having a sponsor too!

I celebrate 60 days FRIDAY!

Thanks AmI! It's not such a bad road! I'm doing the best that I can with what I have...adding more tools to the toolbox as I go.

DF-WOW, MAN! Congrads! I'll tell you...I went to that open AA meeting Sat. night and it was like a world opened up to me. Hearing those guys talk...I spoke also...said that I was a adult child and how it's affected my life...

For the first time in my life I feel understood and am learning so much. I'll keep in mind the three steps forward, one nack...it is constance...I can say that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

On another note, I shared with DH tonight...I told him that I reread the letter to him and I didn't know what I wanted to sat and that I had questions but didn't know how to ask them...

I was quiet for a while and finished cooking, helped the kids do this and that...then, I sat down and said that I wanted to share something with him...said that I may have before but was not sure if I made myself clear...

Here's goes:

I was abused starting at the age of 9, now that really didn't stop until I left for college...the worse stopped when I moved out of the house(social services removed me), but I still got grabbed and tried to be kissed until I was 17...

I was told that if you love me you will do this and do that...I learned that love was earned...if you do this I will love you...I had SF to make me feel better...even with you...remember the nights that we would stay up late and I was crying...we would go straight back to the bedroom and have SF...that was some of the best I ever had...

I got to college and did everything, M or F, it didn't matter...it was a goal...a conquest...I could talk someone into doing something that they wouldn't normally do and that made me feel better...I was the center of attention b/c I did this or I did that...

Well, after sometime it didn't make me feel better...sometimes it made me feel worse than I did to begin with...same thing with the alcohol...starts out feeling great and then you need more and more, then one day it starts not to feel right...

Then, there were the things that you would say to me...I had a really hard time going back to Casino's(WH's b-day party in which I invited OW)...I said I don't know it you noticed but I was uncomfortable for sometime there and I didn't want to made that a bad place, so I chose to have a great time and make it a good place for me...

Same thing with that store...it's going to take some work to change that for me... now, She was there that night but you humiliated me in front of that bar...in front of a group of our friends...you said that there were things in life that we did want to do and that I better get use to it or that you would go out and find someone else...

I felt that I had to do this or that or you would abandon me...same thing when you told me that you wouldn't be happy if we stopped SF with OP...I felt like I had to do those things are you would leave me...

I don't want OP in our lives...until last Sat. I didn't know that I was addict to SF and why I did the things that I did...not do I regret doing them, can I change the past...NO, I can't...but I do know that the things that I've don't have only made me a better person...I'm not trying to hide anything and I'm not trying to become someone else...

I never knew who I was to begin with...part of our past problems with OP is my fault...

Now, I will always love you but right not I don't like you...I can't be with someone I don't like...and I don't know what's going to happen to us...You may have told me the issues but I didn't hear you or understand you...I'm telling you this b/c I don't feel that I do a good job of speaking up...

I just thought that you should know that I was an SA and why I've doen the things that I've done...thank you for letting me share with you...I appreciate you listening...

So there you guys have what I said for the most part...I'm sure that I forgot a few things...WH was really quiet and listened the whole time...his face was sad looking and he was quiet for some time...then, after supper he perked up and was talking more...

I still didn't talk to him much...Oh, I said that I wasn't sure that this is the main issue but that my life has been raised around SF...I learned a lot of not so good things but I did the best that I could at the time...now I know better...I said maybe if I had stuck with IC i would have learned this quicker...I don't know...

So, I admitted my addiction to WH...I told him before I went back into the kitchen that I would be better in a moment that was really hard to talk about and I had a lump in my throat...

Well, there you have my night...I hope that it helps someone else out there...

It sounds like you are getting strong. Good on you! I'm amazed at the progress you have made. Doesn't it feel great?

Thanks believer! IT does feel great...Wh didn't say anything about it...

He did put clean sheets on the bed for me last night...I stipped it but didn't get to put the clean ones on...

I also invited him to my meeting tonight...we'll see...if not, oh, well! It's out there! He said we'll see!

My S thinks that it will be a good idea if he comes!

I would like to share WH's letter that he wrote last Friday after I spoke to him telling him that I knew there was C.

Here goes:

Rinder,

First let me say I do love you! I just am not happy with this whole [email]d@mn[/email] sitch yes I may be a big part of the blame. Rinder, I have a really hard time sating what's going on in my head, therefore, they usually don't come out until I get mad or am backed into a corner.

Rinder, all I want to do is run right now, no, not to someone else but away from everything.

You are trying to change my whole world, our whole world. I feel like you are running or at the very least trying to hide the person you are. Right now, I noticed that you don't like anything we use to do. I am truely sorry for hurting you.

I promise it is not on purpose or anything like that. I do good for a while and then I have dreams, can't sleep, and she is on my mind and I have to find out why. I really wanted to tell you but I know what it would lead to. Sorry Rinder.

You have said a few times that you no longer keep score. Rinder, on the phone today you gave several instances where you still do. you said that you don't understand me, I don't think you want to Rinder.

I like who I am and do alot of other people. I'm sorry that I don't fit your dream guy mold. I am who I am and I am not ready to change. I know there are somethings that I am forgetting but I will let you know when I think about them.

Rinder, I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I am just trying to be me and not loose who I am while you are on your quest to find someone you think you lost.

WH

I wrote the letter off the first time I read it and told him that it was a bunch of BS. I reread it last night before I decided to open my mouth.

I know that WH is depressed, he won't admit it. I've suggested that he talk to his Dr. about the sleeping problem. I know that he's stressed out at work and unlike myself he has no support system. No one to talk to about his M problems, work, or anything else.

TBH, we haven't talked alot about our M, the A, or anything else. When I talk he listens...I can't make him talk to me.I can't make him open up and this letter is the most I've gotten from him.

Yes, I do hear that he's not willing to change. He doesn't want OW or anyone else. I believe that he is lost and is to stubborn to find his way back. I hear that he's dealing with alot and doesn't understand it.

We have not touched since before Friday...I slept on the sofa that night and last night...I've been in our bed since then.

So, there you have it!

Wh just called me to let me know something and I told him that I was just thinking about him and he asked what did he do now.

I said nothing I was just thinking that you could do me a favor. I asked that he accept that I am just sharing stuff with him and not trying to teach him anything because that is not my intention at all and that I would really appreciate it.

WH said that he would try to work on it. I thanked him and reiteriated that I would greatly appreicate it.

He has said recently that he elieves that I am trying to change him or teach him.

I'd also like to say that I'm sorry if anyone thinks that I am not doing what I need to handle my sitch...

WH and I just have been through so much over the past 13 years...so many valleys and peaks...I'm sure that you can see that it's a little different sitch from what I've read here...I haven't seen anything like it...

I really appreciate ALL of the support and posts. I'm doing the best that I can with what I have...growing each day...I feel better as a person...I believe that I have a good M with the exception of this one area...

Unfair to broad of a statement. You don't like anything? Cop out BS alert.

If he would like to make a statement like that he should be specific. Sometimes change is necessary. Hey I used to like to walk around naked and have SF on the kitchen counter after my first cup of coffe but you know what that is now impossible with two kids in the house. I would still like doing that but there isn't anything I can do about that change.

By contact he is acheiving this goal.

Ok lots or things to say about this. Trying to be me. Ok so let me figure this out. A man that raises his hand to his wife. Has an A. Continues contact. Thrives for the attention of other women. Heck the list goes on and on.

I would hate to see him lose who he is. With all of those positive attributes he would be a catch to any woman.

This is a veiled threat. Love me for who I am or else. My FWW used to tell me this all the time. Other people think I am a wonderful person why don't you.

I finally said why don't you pick one of these people that adore you and lie cheat and steal with them and the say I am who I am and others like me and see if they will stay included in your list.

They won't. You just don't treat them the way you treat me.

Case closed.

In the whole world if you can't treat me better then any other person you run across you don't deserve me.

Rin the day I started beleiving that about myself is the day things started getting better.

I sat in front of an MC and my FWW and there was something she did for OM and not me. She said she wouldn't. I said I want a D. she said over that. I said yes because YOU WILL NOT TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO RECOVER I will tell you then you have a right to say yes or no honestly. If you won't then we won't recover and we are wasting our time.

If he will not give you what you need to recover how will you recover. It is not for him to decide what you need it is for you to decide.

HI, Frog!

Thank you so much for popping in...I was wondering if I was...well, I don't know...

Anyway, I did ask WH what kinds of things he was talking about but he couldn't give me an answer or didn't...I'm not sure whick one...

I told him that it was my belief that there are alot of misconceptions b/t the two of us, but that was just my opinion...


I took this as he has alot of fear...but you are right...

I also believe HE has NO clue who HE is...


I'm glad that you put it like that...I hadn't thought of that...

Good thing we haven't discussed this letter yet...

I'm telling you I'm dealing with a major CA...he would rather sweep everything under the rug and deal with it that way....just my POV.

I agree with you wholeheartly...

WH is cooking supper tonight so that I can go to my meeting...I talked to him at lunch and I asked for ideas on supper b/c I would be limited on time and he said that he would do it not to worry about it...

TBH, this made me uncomfortable...I mean I feel like I can't let him in a way...since I've talked to him I have come up with two meals...and I know that I shouldn't feel guilty for letting him cook tonight...I'm just not use to it...

Okay...why do I feel guilty...because I feel like he's taking over my responsiblites b/c I can't do it...but then I have wanted him to help more around the house...I feel like I'm in trouble b/c he's going to do it...what the heck is that? I know I'm not in trouble...