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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 30
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 30 |
Advice from my minister:
Give your problems over to GOD.
Pray for strength and for GOD help you not obsess over your problems especially the ones you can't fix (ie WS and A).
When I asked for advice on how to apply this he said to "write down the problems that are hampering you from recovering and that you can not fix. Every morning and night pray to GOD over each item on the list asking for strength. When you find yourself thinking about anything on the list stop what ever you're doing and pray. Over time you will develop the mental strength and discipline to not focus your thoughts on the things that you can't fix".
I can't make my wife see that her "friendship" with OM is actually an EA. I can't make her choose me and our marriage over him and her "perfect career". But I can work on plan A and the things that I can't work on or fix I will give over to GOD.
The marriage may or may not survive. But I will. .
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 44
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 44 |
Fantastic!! Survive you will.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
ctwelsh, have you considered using Marriage Builders principles to save your marriage? I agree that you need God's help, but he is not going to come down and drive you to work. You have to do some footwork here, after all.
Are you familiar with Marriage Builders and their success in dealing with adultery?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 30
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 30 |
I am familiar with MB and have read some of the books found here on the website. I have a few other posts on this board and on the "Just found out" board as well. I just find myself worrying and trying to work on things that are beyond my control. I cannot control what choices my WW will make but I can pray and work on myself in order to influence her decision. The inability to "FIX" everything has been a stumbling block for me during the implementation of plan A.
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