A year ago, when I still cared about my marriage, I read an article on-line that gave the statistics for the average length of an affair. Now I can't find it.

I do remember that there was a small percent that ended in 3 month, a bigger percent that ended in 6 months, and the majority ended in a year, and then it tapered down with a smaller % ending in 18 months, 2 years, and the very smallest % lasting 3 years.

Just curious how long the affairs of those posting here lasted (WS or BS). I remember when I first came here, I couldn't imagine making it 6 months. But the more I read here, I think that a newby needs to be prepared for a longer haul.

My WH's affair lasted 3 and a half years.

B, I always say I had an 18 month A.

Here's the timeline.

3 month EA
6 month PA
9 month EA - believe it or not there was absolutely no touching of any sort, not even hand holding, in the last 9 months. I can believe it because I know it happened and this was the guy I'd gone out with for 5 years when we were teenagers and held ourselves in check that whole time. It didn't seem unusual to go back to that.

well...my H's affair so far has lasted over 3 years

SAA and the Harley's say most end before 2 years from the time the A "sees the light of day" (meaning it is exposed to everyone and so it faces reality instead of being all fantasy)

my H's affair was exposed to everyone 1 year 4 months ago (with me being the last to know and by then they were living together!-but then again...the OWH believed they were only living in the same house as friends and not sleeping together... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)

and to the best of my knowledge it is still going strong

according to your info above...that makes me one of the poor souls who have to deal with this for longer.....if not for forever

The best that I can figure, my FWW's A lasted about 9 months. The timeline is a little blury and this has always been a point of contention for me.

My husbands affair lasted 3 months.
bb

Began talking with OM in Feb. 2005...Old High School/College BF...He looked me up on the classmates website and emailed me...The affair started in March 2005 and ended in June 2005...long distance affair...EA/PA...

Mrs. W

WS had A for 3 years with PBR. They started 'courting and it ended in court. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

My ex's affair has been going on for two years exactly. It was fully exposed about four months in.

However, I think he lied about when it started - I think it actually began in April '04 when he and OW were in Barcelona together for a school trip. He won't admit to that, though, because I was in hospital at the time. I certainly remember a marked change in our relationship when he came back, however.

This means that it has been going on for 2 years 8 months, 2 years exposed.


Same here. There is no motivation whatsoever for my ex to end the affair - we are divorced, there is no external pressure (children are settled, his parents have accepted the OW, her parents have accepted ex, so-called Catholic school ex and OW work for gave them a gentle talk about 'compassion' and then dropped the subject <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ).

Even if the affair did end, which I doubt, it has already destroyed my marriage and there is no going back for me now. Not that I don't still wish for what once was, but if my ex tried to come back to me tomorrow, I'm 90% sure I wouldn't want him. I think this is pretty normal - the longer the affair goes on, the less likely it is that the BS will want to reconcile.

Besides, my ex could never admit that he had done anything wrong or made a mistake. He would try to make me think he was doing me a favour by coming back. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

From exposure it lasted just under two years.

In total around 4 years.

First one lasted about 4 months, I think. She still occasionally calls him. This one was over before I found out.

The last one lasted 7-8 months. They are still in contact. Don't know if it is still physical or not. This one was hot and heavy when I found out.

WXH's A started around April 2003, I noticed the change in him immediatetly. WXH denies having A. I hired PI in May 2004, exposed it in June 2004. We separated August 2004, MOW and her BXH separated in November 2004. WXH & OW engaged in March 2006, the A ended in May 2006.

His money ran out and she was gone. He's making money again and kids say they are starting to see OW hang around again.

My FWW's A lasted two years. Well, at least the part that she's told me me about.

17 months and still going. Exposure didn't stop a thing.

I'm just about ready to take my kids and get out of Dodge.

First one - don't know how long, at least 4-6 months by the changes in our R. Second one, an EA, 6-12 mo. and most recent one, EA about 6 mo., PA 9 mo., EA 14 mo..

5 months for my FWH's A with old gf

I only know what I'm told by my FWW... she and that cancer (OM) had a ONS in the late 90s, maintained a long distance EA until we moved closer, then had about a 9 mo PA until I discovered it in Jan 05. She broke it off right away but did break NC a couple of times (by phone & an email I discovered), the last was Jul 05.
I believe it's over but I think the A would have carried on for a long time had I not discovered it (I was deploying). It's hard to really trust though when you were deceived for so long.

V/r,
No way

my sister's affair lasted over 20 years.
around the 12 year mark he moved away...but, they talked on the phone a couple of times a month and saw eachother 1x a year. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Mine lasted 7 months with our neighbor. I tried to end the A 3 times but xOM would simply back off for a couple of days and then hook me right back into it. Finally, I couldn't live that way anymore and confessed to my BH (he pretty much already knew but I lied my way out of it during the A). At least now my BH is making SURE I don't fall back into anything. We still live across the street from them but try to avoid them as much as possible and xOM and I have had absolutely no contact (aside from briefly seeing each other outside a few times) since D-day. PA/EA.

My WS's A 'supposedly' started sometime during the Fall of 2004....he moved out in June 2005...then, for sure, A saw 'light of day'...and so...counting that as the starting point, it would make it 17 months and still counting....

...what I do find curious is....that WS has chosen not to live with OW....but do believe he stays at her place week boys are with me, though.... I think what WS really wanted is to return to being a 'bachelor'.....and this arrangement, in his mind, can allow him to 'roam' if he wants to.....

aandk24 - How does your BH not want to confront the FOM neighbor or something worse? Wow, that's hard. I have to go about weekly to the building where my FWW's OM works and I hate it every time. So far I haven't run into the slime but probably will sometime.
BTW, good for you in confessing, that takes alot of guts.

V/r,
No way