No way, I ask myself that about my BH all the time. Same with xOMW (I gave xOM 3 days to tell her. He didn't so I did (my BH was there when I told her). Maybe she's just glad that someone told the truth and that's why she hasn't done anything to me - I don't know). Anyway, I don't know how he does it. About a month after I told him, he did exchange a couple of words across the street but nothing came out of it. xOM just walked away. My BH always says that he won't give xOM the satisfaction of doing anything to him. But, he does see xOM sometimes driving into the neighborhood. My BH has been in front a couple of times and drove VERY slowly. Just messing with xOM. When this happens, my BH just laughs and tells me about how he didn't know a car could go that slowly. He also ran into him at the grocery store a few weeks ago and checked out right behind him. Again, my H laughed because xOM checked out as quickly as possible. My BH KNOWS that xOM is very afraid of him! He plays with him more than anything and makes it more into a joke than anything. If the tables were turned, I don't think I could do that.

Thanks for your comment on my confessing. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm so glad I did. They both deserved to know and make their own decision.

By the way, we aren't planning on moving yet but will at some point. We'd love it if they'd move but so far neither of us have put the house on the market.

My WW's affair has been going on now for 21 months.She was able to keep it secret from her family right up until the time she left( July/06).Had I been aware of MB back in March/05 I certainly would have known sooner.The signs were all there.I was too naive and too trusting.

aandk24 - Good on you for confessing. That hardly ever happens here. One of these days, please post your story, and especially what made you come forward with the truth.

WH's EA started sometime in May '05, turned PA in early Sept. '05, PA ended Mid Sept. '05 (OW went back to work on her M), contact ended sometime in Jan. '06 (co-workers).

EA with 'friend' at work started sometime between Feb-Mar '06 (phone calls, IM's, TM's, having lunch together after she moved on to another job). Meanwhile, back at home, I am delusional thinking about working toward recovery. This ended sometime between Aug'06 - Sept. '06.

WH mentioned in on Oct. 5, 2006 that he was 'interested' in another workmate, so I wasn't interested in working with him anymore (Plan B)...

FWW's A was 3 years, 1st year EA then was consumated.

My FWH's PA began in April 2003 and lasted 8 months, but they were engaged in a PA for at least that long. I know that because in OW divorced in August 2002, FWH never mentioned it to me although he sometimes told me stories about OW and her BH.

Also, I still believe that he had other A's before that one, perhaps several. I'll never know because he will never admit it. Something kind of funny, I once found a pair of woman's sun glasses in his car. I figured that they belonged to FWH's mother, but when I asked her if they were hers, she said no. So, I wore them around for nearly a year. How dumb was I. Looking back, I'm sure they belonged to one of his A partners!

Who

My FWH's A started with flirting, exchanging of emails and photos (yuk - I found them and that's how the A was discovered) around May 05. They both claim PA started around late August/early Sept 05, but I have my doubts about that, because I saw signs earlier and they both have problems with memories... D-Day early Nov 05.

Both say no emotions were involved at all. Sex for the sake of sex.

Please.

SB

I'm on the extreme end of the bell curve. Our son was in grade 1 when the OW started working for my H. Our son is now applying for college. Their friendship continues to this day. Our attorneys are working on the settlement details for our D.

STBXH just flew over to London to "cheer up" the OW's son who is studying abroad and "not doing very well." This is the workaholic who never took time off except to visit his parents and care for his dying mother.

It is as if he grafted himself onto another man's family rather than working to enjoy his own wife and son.

Oh, and the reason the young man's parent's didn't fly to London to cheer up their son? They were "too busy."

It is as if he married into their family. Needless to say, there is no extra conversation between he and me any more.

THey can last a lifetime.:(

Wow, Bellevue, that is a LOOOOONNNGGG affair.

It will be interesting to see what happens to the affair when you divorce.

My H's affair started 8 years ago; he has been supposedly married to the OW for over 5 years now. He too traded in his family for hers. Only one of our kids have visited him in the last year - he doesn't allow the others to even if they wanted to. He sees some of them for a brief fast food dinner once a week.

My H's most serious A was somewhere between 3 and 4 yrs. with a couple of false recoveries thrown in there. The last A (with a different OW lasted 8 months.

MB at the end of that...although I had read HNHN towards the end of the previous one...he wasn't interested so I shelved it until after the last one.

I registered after we attended the MB Weekend in March of '03.

my ww had her affair for 4 years, the part that she told me me about...actual ... don't know!

Hard to say really. FWW and OM developed feelings over a 12 month period and then acted on them by declaring their love for each other. It was over 3 months after that when I saw a text message he sent her.

Really, text messaging should be made illegal. What an affair enabler.

FWIW, OM was next door neighbour and at great expense we moved away to establish NC. We were able to move back home 4 months later after OM moved away.