Yes I agree it is but it was not a continuous thing. It happened a few times but absolutely you are correct.

Are you back home?

Yes. Nobody is here though they are all at there grandpas. THey will be back tomorrow.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Don't tell anybody, but I am going to give you a BIG HUG, my friend!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{duro_madera}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

wiping away my tears of happiness~~~~ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ok, try taking the EN questionaire FOR HER and see if you can figure out what her EN's are. See if she will even take it for you when she gets back. You are probably not going to be able to meet many of her EN for a while, so the best you can do is avoid lovebusters and be as pleasant as possible. [and I do not mean WIMPY!] This doesn't mean you allow her to abuse you or walk all over you.

Have you asked for her forgiveness for letting yourself sink into this swingers thing? Do you understand how devastating that was to your marriage? Do you know what a low blow this was to you as a MAN? As the head of this family, it is your place to protect your family from this kind of sick influence. There is much to recover from here, DM, and I hope that you see this and can convey this to her. She needs to knwo that you are a man who will ACT Like a man and who can be counted on to lead and protect his family.

Help help. Why is exposure a loving thing to do?

Because it kills the affair.

Are the people I tell supposed to kill it?

No. Affairs thrive on secrecy and when they are exposed it ruins the fantasy aspect. It forces the affairees to see how sleazy they look through the eyes of others and causes conflict in the affair. Shining light on them hastens their death. Just imagine bringing a crowd of normal people into the crack house to witness the crack head smoke crack. It just ruins the high when everyone is watching and bursts the fantasy aura.

Now, in some cases this can happen, though. For example, there have been many OP's who dumped the WS once their spouse was notified. Some affairs have ended when employers were notified. So sometimes the exposure targets can effect the end of the affair.

Well my mother-in-law called me back and was pissed. She wanted to know why I had exposed the affair to her and what the purpose of it was and how that was done out of love and is there any biblical basis to it. I never lost my temper with her once but boy was she mad. Any input?

So my wife did call her mom and step father and told them and I am wodnering what her motives were when she did that? She just told them that I had and affair and she had an affair which was not quite true. But anyway I would think that when she exposed the affair that it would make her stop it? But I don't think she has she is probably still text messaging him and calling him.

Sounds like selective outrage to me. Did she miss this part of the Bible?: Exodus 20:14
"You shall not commit adultery."


But below is another one for her, if she needs more. She should also do a search on the work "adultery" and "adultress" if she is interested in what the Bible says about this subject. Nowhere does it say "thou shalt not expose evil." But it sure as hale says "Thou shalt NOT commit adultery!"

Ephesians 5:11
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

Why would she stop contact with the OM?

Yes Melodylane I fully realize that now. I have felt bad about it for years and even wanted to call the husband and ask for forgiveness but did not. I know now that as we move forward that two things will either happen I will raise my kids the way they should have been raised for the past few years or we will raise them together the way they should have been raised. I will not let her intimidate me anymore and don't care what she thinks as to what I have done lately especially when it comes to the exposure part as I may have to pay some ****** for that here soon.

Who is this OM? Is he married? What does he do for a living?

I don't know. I thought that maybe if she revealed the secret that she would.

Drum teacher. I am wanting to compose a letter or email to the manager but want to see an example letter for this.

Don't ever apologize for exposing a sleazy affair. You have nothing to apologize for. The only one who has something to apologize for is your W right now for having an affair. You did the absolute right thing. Believe me, you have made your W squirm and that is no small benefit.

I don't know of any such samples here. Just explain the facts, giving your names, and then ask "what do you intend on doing about this?" But, you will want to send a copy to the manager, the owner and the HR director, if possible and CC them all on the letter. Because if the manager is his friend, the letter can be tossed if no one else knows about it.