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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209 |
I don't mean to be personal but FWH was unzipping my pants and says "you have the low pants too?" (have had these a couple months). I said "what do you mean I have them too?", he says "nothing", with a smirk. I said" well it sounds to me like you have unzipped "low" pants before? he says "no, I was thinking of *&%^*&, (our daughter) because she doesn't watch the back of them all the time". True we tease her and tell her to watch it when she's out. So why is this bothering me? I know that when he had his ONS 15 yrs ago they didn't have low rise jeans, I know that he hasn't cheated at least the last 2 years, (He says he hasnt since the one time 15 yrs ago). Is it because it's a trigger, thinking about him unzipping "her" pants? He insists he didn't mean anything by it. What do you think???
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709 |
I think you're responding honestly to a trigger.
By all accounts, and your first reaction, he gave a rational and acceptable response.
I know I smirk sometimes when I see my 39 year old wife wearing fashions our 16 and 17 year old daughters wear. Don't get me wrong, my wife is beautiful and has a great figure so she can wear these fashions with no shame.
I smirk when I recognize her attempt to dress younger or recapture some youth.
That may be all he was doing -- smirking that you are dressing like a "teenager".
Aside from any evidence to the contrary, I think it was innocent. Do you feel comfortable telling him that or do you think it would put him on the defensive?
Just my $.02.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209 |
Thanks artor, I needed to hear that. I guess it's just a trigger I just wish he was more sensitive to them when I have them. He doesn't seem to understand why this would bother me. I tried to explain but I don't think he gets it, he just kept saying I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know if it's hard for him to understand the triggers I have because it happened so long ago to him? We have had lots of issues with the smirking, our MC explained what he thinks it means and I'm trying to see that. THANKS
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 214
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 214 |
I did the exact same thing except I tried to belittle my wife about it because I didn't think it was appropriate and when she bends over G string or butt crack shows. It took a long time for me to accept that style at 30 years old plus. I had insecure feelings about them.
I think you are making WAY too much out of it. He's probably a little shocked it them too.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 209 |
thanks df, but I wanted to clarify that my butt crack NEVER shows and I personally dont wear g strings. We were laying down getting into the moment when he was unzipping my pants and made the comment. He said he was referencing the comment to our daughter, (oh you have low jeans too) because she wears the low rise pants too...I was bothered by the comment of I have them too, like he has unzipped someone elses low rise jeans before. He doesn't mind I wear them, he isn't insecure because of me wearing them, He has told me that he completely trust me. (Must be a nice feeling to have)
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