Nothing has changed in my separation in the past 8 months until the past few days.

WW had me arrested back on Nov 18 for Domestic Tresspass, this was under suggestion by OM. So the next day after I got out of jail I took all the information that I had on him using company resource to fund his affair and sent it to his company.

We are currently in court hashing out custody and property distribution, I am doing fine she was horrible on the stand

WW, yesterday contracted a kidney stone/infection so the kids have been staying with me. I am sending her this plane response to her email, but if you look at her response you can see that something major has happend



========================================

To WW
FROM Me

Morgan has a birthday party saturday I have not RSVP'd the parents, but morgan is very excited about attending it... I told her to talk to you.

Jorden has horse bowl tonight as well as the youth group parents night out so I am not sure which one she would like to attend, I told her to talk to you

I will have Daughter 1 and Daughter 2's Karate uniforms there at 10:15am for their lesson at 10:30

4H leader was asking the 4H girls about starting a Savvy club on the opposite weekends than the 4H meetings, this would allow the girls to meet and practice their paralli so they can get their level 1 done.

I sent home with daughter 3 the walmart gift card that I had so she has it in her bag.

I hope you feel better let me know if there is anything I can do.






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: WW
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006 3:25 PM
To: BH
Subject: Fwd: Feeling Better


BH,

Use it against me? No that's what you do use EVERYTHING against me...! I can't help that I might have kidney stones and or infection... Your right in one aspect people do get sick... And thanks for your concern however I know better and you are far from sincere.... If you cared in the slightest for me you would never treat me the way that you do.. You have no respect for me whatsover.. You don't even respect me as the mother of our children... You continue to harass me follow me stalk me...

You have continued to sabotage my relationship with mike. You think by doing this I will come back to you.. Your sadly mistaken and truly out of your brain... The damage has been done you have never cared about me or this mockery of a marriage... I have forwarded you an email I received from Mike today... And thanks to you its over... I hate you for that... How could you do these things? His job now? That's really just down right wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself! What if someone did that to you... How could you!? You really have no conscience do you.... Did you ever think about his kids... ?OM always makes sure his kids mother has money to buy groceries and gas in the car and a roof over their heads... What can you say for that.. What did they ever do to you.. Your selfish..b you only think about BH... You have no idea what its like to truly love someone... Oh and hey good luck on match.com....

You have admitted your wrong doing and the hurt you have caused.. Now could you please leave me alone and let me be and let me heal.. STOP hurting me... I don't deserve it... And leave me be...

I have a drs appointment at 4...



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: OM>
Date: Dec 7, 2006 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: Feeling Better
To: WW


Is he kidding me? So I view this as a double edge sword. If I come there he will take advantage of that and harass not only you but me. I'm sure he will follow us around, make a scene. If I don't come there then im the bad guy. "Oh why didnt he come there when you were sick, some true love."

Anyway. Maybe you can tell him the damage hes done between you and I with his attempt to get my fired with the email he sent. Nothing he sent damaged me at work but I was investigated and they found no wrong doing. Mainly because he did not identify himself only an anonymous email. He has no regards for anyone not even his own family. I cannot risk his [censored] hurting my kids and my job that feeds them. Quite frankly hes a piece of crap and I hope he burns in ******. There was no reason for that email he sent. That was only to harass me. I can't continue to do this. We really need to talk.

On 12/7/06, WW
You can come see me now.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: BH
Date: Dec 7, 2006 10:19 AM
Subject: Feeling Better
To: WW

WW,

I know this is not going to be received warmly but I wanted to send it
anyways. I want you to know that I will do what I can and what you will
allow me to do while you are not feeling well. Sickness is something
that happens to everyone, I am not going to use this against you. So
please don't worry about that, the girls will be fine and they do miss
you and want you to feel better.

Since you wont allow me to help you or be there for you, maybe mike can
come down and take care of you while your are not well. I only
concerned about your getting better, if that is what it takes you need
to do that.

Otherwise I will be here for the girls and you if you ever need anything

Please let me know what happens at the doctor and if you need to rest
don't worry about the girls, I will bring them by to see you when you
are feeling better.

BH

edit your post to put XXXs where the names are

Viking,

Typical WS and OM crap!! Although, I LOVE when there are problems in fantasyland!!!

I would take it as an opportunity. It seems they clearly told you they couldn't go any further because the email was sent anonymously... I would follow it up with a name attached if they needed more information, please call. Be sure to state only facts so that you aren't opening yourself up to a lawsuit. ROFL. That would be fun, if they reopened the case now that they have someone they can ask questions!

I love destroying OPs. It is better than my Army days and killing terrorists!

if your in business you know what SOX is and SOX has provsisions for anonymous reporting, I am not going to take it any farther than it has. I think it needs to die now on its own. As you can see the OM has clearly put all the blame on me

Why are you not in plan B?

I would put as much effort into destroying their affair as they put in destroying yoru marriage....all the other stuff is crap....don't step in it...

so we are in a modified plan b because of the kids and we have a lot of things going on with the custody and property distribution... that being said if you notice my response to her didn't respond to her rant just more kid stuff, which will irriate her more

Viking,

You are on this site so I know you want to save your M. I did a history check on your posts(so many posters,hard to keep stories straight) and see that you had 3 ONS. I commend you for your honesty by repeatedly stating that fact on most of your earlier posts but if you have time, could you fill us in on what you did to repair your M and make up for those acts?

I read that your wife's list of A's mainly consisted of EA's until now and am interested in how your M progressed from your ONS's thru your WW A's? Has she stated that what she has done is retribution for your acts? Were the reasons for your A's discussed and had she forgiven you for them? Have you forgiven yourself for what you had done?

So we have been married 12 years and it was a normal marriage with ups and downs. I am naturally a giver, she is naturally a taker. Not until after my ONS did i start to invest not only invest in being married but in the marriage itself, to learn what I need to learn, what I learned was that my WW was abused and that created area's in our marriage that we didn't do so well. I took it the wrong way and it opened me up for the ONS, I did the ONS purposely not to leave my marriage but to fullfil EN's. I understand that it is wrong and I was week. The rest of the marriage, even around the ONS, I was committed to my family and her, it was truly about sex for me, but I now realize how it weakened me morally and internally.

I have been told by many people that have known us for 12 years that my WW is PA and NPD, even before this episode. It was the fact her soulmate had contacted her that she jumped ship, otherwise she would have still taken from me. I know that if I was a perfect husband that my WW would have still gone, she lives part of her life in fantasy land, never impacted me because I was giving her the ability to have the fantasy life. Now, she is so resentful that I am not still providing her a life where she doesn't have to work, doesn't have to worry about things and has money to do the things she wants to do... She is manipulated by OMs and he pushed a lot of blame and guilt my way, no matter what I would have done I would be the cause of her pain.

We went to MC twice after a few sessions she would break it off, one MC stopped MC after she found out about the abuse my wife suffered as a child. Second MC never found out about it because WW didn't want to bring it up because she didn't want to deal with it.

So my pastor who was a neighbor for 10 years agrees that she was taking from me the whole marriage and never returned much in the way of a marriage or relationship, but I am still in love with her

VR... If I am reading this correctly, you had 3 ONS... and you wife has also had an affair (at least one) and now she wants to move on without you. Is that correct?
You say your wife had you arrested for domestic trespass... was it not your actions that resulted in your arrest?
And you mentioned that your WW was horrible on the stand.... perhaps I am missing soemthing here... if you are remorseful for what YOU have done, shouldn't you want to take care of her in the divorce even if she doesn't want to be back with you. Afterall, you cheated on her 3 times and she has chosen to not be with you any longer. It seems as though you are resenting the fact that your wife no longer wants to be with you AFTER you went out and had your ONS. I think that anything she does at this point is her choice, since it was YOUR actions that have brought you to this place.
If I am missing an important part of this puzzle, I am sorry... but just from what I am reading here, I think it is time you wish your wife well and let her move on with her new life.

bump

That is great and all, but unfortunately there is usually another person on the opposite end of the situation who is saying the same exact thing about the betrayed spouses wife/husband.

Everyone gets burned in the carnage.

Lem

Is this OP married? If not, I have to say, that unless other information is given, VR's wife has a right to start a new life based on what I have read. There must be more to this situation since there are some MB vets here saying that her A (relationship) should be broken up. If she is not living with VR and this man is not married, I say wish her the best and move on. Just because VR got his head out of his butt and stopped cheating does not mean that his wife... from whom he is seperated... needs to come back to him. Is there more to this story?

Focus on how he treats you, not on what he is doing away from you.

You could spend your life chasing away other women. The key is he doesn't want to consider your feelings when he makes decisions.

What to do about it? I haven't a clue. All I know is that that is the issue. EA, PA, Woman #1, Woman #2 ... all irrelevant.

All you can do is tell him how you feel. You aren't trying to control him if all you do is tell him that you are concerned. If you say anything more -- like you must have access to his cell phone, then you are trying to control him. If he dismisses your feelings and isn't willing to work on a solution that makes you comfortable, then he doesn't care about how you feel.

He can show lack of care for you in a lot of ways other than by having another affair.

Repectful

So after this weekend I found this on OM's myspace page

"Whatcha hiding from BH? It really don't matter anymore. It's over. You win. I choose not to deal with the BS anymore. Happy Holidays!"

His picture on the page was a hand giving you the finger.

I choose not to believe anything from these two, as they have tried to manipulate the situation before.

I am doing fine with the girls and we have our court stuff on DEC 20th, yet another week for my WW to figure out what she is going to do with her life.

Update, I checked WW myspace site, which WAS managed by OM, he did most of the updating.... well its not restricted anymore, their picture is off it, only her picture exist. She had put a blog on their, back in september and its still there about me, so I printed it out for safe keeping... anyways I know the fog is deep and this could be a scam to pull one over and I know the damage is deep with WW.