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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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OP
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
I've learned the hard way that attempting to reason with a WS is a fool's errand, but lately I've been getting a lot of 'you want to trap me in a loveless marriage' and 'I'll never feel the way about you that I do about the OM' type babble.
I know I've read some inspirational posts on here by FWSs about how their love for their spouse was actually greater after they got out of the affair, but I'm having trouble finding them. Can anyone chime in on the subject of loving feelings for the BS returning?
Last edited by sdguy038; 12/09/06 02:48 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
After anyone gets over an A, their mind clears up or they are dead. Either way no more A. The hard part is how does the BS deal with the WS in the interim? R U game for some wild but successful ideas? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> L.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
I'm a FWW.
It wasn't the OM that I loved (although that's what it felt like at the time.)
It was the feelings the A gave me. The fantasy was as great as I could dream up.
I had blocked my BH from making any love deposits in my bank and felt nothing for him.
I thought if I stayed w/ him I was accepting a loveless life w/ him.
When I found MB, I was given hope that there was a chance I could restore my feelings for him.
So, I established NC, read everything here, started undoing the lies I had told myself, watched as the fog cleared... regained my mind.
And yes, I DO love my DH MORE now than before the A.
Everything that Dr. Harley says about restoring M after A's are true.
~ Marsh
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
Orchid, I am definitely game for some ideas. She has rented an apartment and will be leaving soon so that I can seriously Plan B. In the interim, I am trying to remember how to live a life after a year of trying to save a marriage. I am going to the symphony tonight (first time), have tried tantric massage, have started thinking about how I want to change the house . . . that kind of thing, but I would definitely like to hear other ideas.
Thanks, Marsh. I knew I could count on you.
SD
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