Having reviewed so many post on people who went thru a divorce or breakup that are having problem just letting go of their ex’s. I would like to know how you (members of MB) were able to let go of your ex’s.

Example: For me, I learned about what my Ex’s problems are. Why she did what she did. The reason behind the “bad Choices”. In short educated myself on cause and effect. Giving me an opportunity not only to learn more about her, but also helping me learn more about myself. Freeing me of guilt and pain. I will of course answer any question(s) concerning what happen in my relationship to explain my example, but want to hear of other examples....

My hopes and prays is that this might help other’s in “letting go”. A very important part in the healing process.

I'm not there yet but, am having hard time letting go and getting past the pain of the break-up so, I'm looking forward to seeing the responses you get.
I'm waiting on attorney now for final document to be signed.

I would love to see the responses since I am no where near where I would like to be. I can separate and logically detach cognitively but am having huge difficulty dealing with contact even when they are minimal due to parenting issues.

We have lived separately for 7 wks and I don't have much problem as far as asking questions, or wondering, caring about what WH does BUT when children make comments or statements about WH and his place or things they have seen there I go right back to square one. It doesn't help that WH still trying to be friends and wanting hugs, SF, time together etc. I think I would be fine if I never had to see or speak to WH but that is not the case.

Looking forward to feedback or advice on successful detachment when parenting.

When my ex left I suffered from major PTSD. Looking back, I'm sure I actually had a breakdown.

He will have been gone for two years in April, and has been living with the OW for all that time.

The thing that is so hard to accept is that we were a happy couple before he began his affair. Our children were secure and safe, and we were all very close. Both kids were 100% certain their parents would be together forever.

When the affair comes out of the blue like that, and your husband actually leaves for the OW the next day, it's a major trauma for the family.

I am still far from over it. I know that two years is supposed to be the 'magic' milestone for recovery in the BS, but it won't be for me.

I feel that the only peace I will ever get out of this is if my Ex and OW split up, and that is, I'm afraid, unlikely in this case.

I am grateful that at least the girls still have a relationship with their dad. And they (DD6, anyway) seem to like OW. So they don't have a load of nonsense to deal with when they go over there.

So I haven't yet let go of the emotional rollercoaster. But I am better than I was!

Alph.