please help me with this issue. Its driving me insane. I have told my husband before and during the three years of marriage that Im not heavily into domestic duties, I will do them but I need and want to be helped. Then why does he turn around and tell me point blank that his duty is to bring money into the house and my job as wife is to cook and clean???? I mean we both work full time and I am have always have been career orientated. Then how does he find the nerve to say that to me. Im not in the middle ages, my income brings the food on the table as well, why should I be reduced to be treated like a servant just coz im a female and hes the male??? I argue and tell him how I dont agree and wont be tied to the stove as I have dreams as well. How should I tackle this, as I feel my career is threatened and that he doesnt take what I do seriously??? Im lost and angered...and am feeling quite depressed....

can't help.. all i can say is i can relate. his lack of domestic support was a HUGE bone of contention in our marriage. we are now divorced... i will never be with a man again who does not help out in the house when we are both working full time.

it is ridiculous and uncalled for for a man to think that way in my opinion.

mlhb

this is how I felt. H and I are separated. But here's my different take now.

I have my own income. My income contributes to the house hold stuff and the marriage as well. Is it worth it to me to continue to argue about this? to resent H for not helping or can I do something to help myself?

I can do something to help myself. I pay a housekeeper. She comes every other week and does all the scrubbing, dusting, vaccuming- etc. I also found another lady who will come when I need laundry or kids rooms picked up. She washes, folds, and puts away. And picks up around the house as needed.

It's my money and it's my job. I look at it as hiring a sub-contractor.

Does your H do the lawn or do you have a lawn service? If he has a lawn service (like my H did)- why the heck can't "you" get a cleaning lady for you?

Stop resenting him and fighting in circles. Stop relying on him to make you happy via the house chores. It won't happen.

Thanks for the advice. I feel calmer now.