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pieta, flying solo is masturbation. He explains in his post why his W isn't in the cockpit with him, she refuses.
hurtandbetrayed, can I make a suggestion? Yours is a very important issue that deserves it's own thread, IMO. If you will start a new thread with your question, you will get lots of feedback from those who have been through this. But many folks won't even see your post buried down here at the bottom of this thread.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Before coming to MB, I never realized that SF was meeting emotional needs for men.
I thought it was just meeting a physical need.
Learning this was a HUGE revelation to me.
Guys, if you can explain this to your W's, chances are they'd be more willing to give you SF.
Women want to meet their man's EMOTIONAL needs.
~ Marsh
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pieta, flying solo is masturbation. He explains in his post why his W isn't in the cockpit with him, she refuses. She refuses to what? Watch him masturbate? So she what? Gets out of bed and leaves the bedroom when he does it?
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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He doesn't masturbate in front of her, of course. She refuses to have sex with him. That is WHY he is masturbating.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Guys, if you can explain this to your W's, chances are they'd be more willing to give you SF. Marsh - Thanks and have tried this many times w/out it sinking in. I love my FWW and SF w/ her makes me feel connected and grounded. In going w/out our shared SF, I feel tense and also doubts creep in about our M and in her level of honesty and trustworthiness. When we have SF, then I know she's giving to me, the doubts fade and I feel energized and renewed. I have not and will not go outside the M to fulfill my #1 EN but believe we are not realizing our full martial potential and I find that disappointing and sad. I explain this to her w/out any positive changes. To use a sports analogy - It's a team effort and we're settling for a mediocre .500 record when I know we can play a winning game. V/r, No way
BS (me) 44
FWW 41
M 18 yrs
FWW in LTA, Dday Jan 2005
K - S15 & D12
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He doesn't masturbate in front of her, of course. She refuses to have sex with him. That is WHY he is masturbating. Well, that is really silly, isn't it? Why in heaven wouldn't he masturbate with her there? They are married for goodness sakes.
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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NW, Have you said these words to her? I love my FWW and SF w/ her makes me feel connected and grounded. In going w/out our shared SF, I feel tense and also doubts creep in about our M and in her level of honesty and trustworthiness. When we have SF, then I know she's giving to me, the doubts fade and I feel energized and renewed. If you have, maybe you just need to get further along in your recovery. When I first read that SF was an emotional need, I asked my DH about it and he said that when we had SF he felt accepted, loved, desired and admired by me. I was blown away. I had NO idea that SF could do THAT for him. LMAO! Giving and receiving SF has taken on new meaning and purpose for me. I can "let go" and be more enthusiastic knowing that he's not going to judge me for being 'naughty', he's actually happier the more I give. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Duh? LOL ~ Marsh
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? ROTFLMAO!!!!
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, you do make it sound so naughty! But I can't imagine anything I would like better to watch my husband do--except maybe the dishes. But then he doesn't wash the dishes very well either and I have to step in and show him how to do THAT properly ALSO!
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, you do make it sound so naughty! But I can't imagine anything I would like better to watch my husband do--except maybe the dishes. But then he doesn't wash the dishes very well either and I have to step in and show him how to do THAT properly ALSO! somehow, I don't suspect that NotSleeping's wife would be impressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> lololol
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Pieta - You CRACK me up.
Mel - You CRACK me up too. Pun intended.
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Marsh - When I first read that SF was an emotional need, I asked my DH about it and he said that when we had SF he felt accepted, loved, desired and admired by me. Yep, your H and I agree and I've told my W this to little avail. Women have a remarkable power to hurt and to heal. Sorry but I wouldn't suggest "whipping it out" unless someone wants to sleep in a separate bedroom. You guys are crazy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> V/r, No way
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, you do make it sound so naughty! But I can't imagine anything I would like better to watch my husband do--except maybe the dishes. But then he doesn't wash the dishes very well either and I have to step in and show him how to do THAT properly ALSO! somehow, I don't suspect that NotSleeping's wife would be impressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> lololol My wife isn't kidding. She really thinks she knows how to do THAT better than me. Actually, I hate to admit it but she's right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, you do make it sound so naughty! But I can't imagine anything I would like better to watch my husband do--except maybe the dishes. But then he doesn't wash the dishes very well either and I have to step in and show him how to do THAT properly ALSO! somehow, I don't suspect that NotSleeping's wife would be impressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> lololol My wife isn't kidding. She really thinks she knows how to do THAT better than me. Actually, I hate to admit it but she's right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Hey!!!!! Have you been lurking again?????
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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[q My wife isn't kidding. She really thinks she knows how to do THAT better than me. Actually, I hate to admit it but she's right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> bwahahahaaa... I am most happy for ya, Mr Pieta! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> tsk, tsk, tsk...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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so, you think the answer to her refusal to have sex with him is to whip out his wanger and force her to watch him slap the monkey? bwahahaa Surely have just smoked some bad crack today.... lol Step away from the crack pipe, pieta!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, you do make it sound so naughty! But I can't imagine anything I would like better to watch my husband do--except maybe the dishes. But then he doesn't wash the dishes very well either and I have to step in and show him how to do THAT properly ALSO! somehow, I don't suspect that NotSleeping's wife would be impressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> lololol My wife isn't kidding. She really thinks she knows how to do THAT better than me. Actually, I hate to admit it but she's right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> LOL No wonder you two have been happily married for 30 years. ~ Marsh
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In my previous marriage to my boys' dad, I was a perfectionist. I had to have the house spotless, breakfast on the table in the morning, lunch packed, and a good dinner.
My husband told me that he didn't care about the above, just dole out the sex.
Sex is for men like conversation is for women.
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In my previous marriage to my boys' dad, I was a perfectionist. I had to have the house spotless, breakfast on the table in the morning, lunch packed, and a good dinner.
My husband told me that he didn't care about the above, just dole out the sex.
Sex is for men like conversation is for women. Ya, But the sex is always better on clean sheets and a full stomach!
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In my previous marriage to my boys' dad, I was a perfectionist. I had to have the house spotless, breakfast on the table in the morning, lunch packed, and a good dinner.
My husband told me that he didn't care about the above, just dole out the sex.
Sex is for men like conversation is for women. Ya, But the sex is always better on clean sheets and a full stomach! You weren't so worried about clean sheets when you christened them with guacamole the other night.
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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