hi all. I have a growing issue with my husband of 3 years. I wanted to hifinate my surname with my husbands surname as I felt a little sad of letting go of my maiden name (being the only child). My husband on the other hand has always hated this idea and keeps going on and on in every second arguement about something else about it. He just brings it up in every possible way. I have hifinated my name on all documents except on my drivers licence and my car is under my maiden name as I got it before I married. He keeps ranting on and on. even when a telemarketer call the house and calls him mr Sharma he hits the roof and screams to the poor person that his wife hasnt "YET" changed her name. This makes me mad, as firstly why does this need to be justified to a complete stranger?? and two, what does he mean by yet?? what should I do?? am I in the wrong over a surname??? Help!!!!

I don't know if this helps (probably not) but when we got married my H took my name....

It's a legal name change in either direction.

Still, if it was causing that much conflict, I'd have to really examine how attached I was feeling to my maiden name.

Mys

I am married for the 3rd time and I still use my 2nd husband's last name. My mother has been remarried for 23 years and still uses my father's last name (they divorced in 1973).

I know another couple that got married and both hyphenated their names (both took both names).

I don't understand why men get so upset about a last name - to me, that implies "ownership" and I wouldn't stand for that for a second. I think the ritual of the woman taking the man's name is outdated and unnecessary.

You are married for the third time and your biggest concern is your last name?

Sorry, I think you're focusing on the symptom and haven't gotten close to the disease (dis-ease)...because you DJ ownership instead of a team name...like myschae said...either way...a team identifier for unity.

Have you read all the articles here on having a great relationship, including the four rules of marriage...like POJA?

This is obviously important to both of you...brainstorm a great way to be enthusiastic rather than combative, with the DJs...doesn't sound like you and your H have safe openness and honest discussions...

Is this your H's third marriage, as well?

LA