Baby Boomer Music

Some of the artists from the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us Aging Baby Boomers. They include:


Herman's Hermits - "MRS. BROWN, YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY WALKER"


The Bee Gees - "HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HIP"

Bobby Darin - "SPLISH, SPLASH, I WAS HAVIN' A FLASH"

Ringo Starr - "I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS"

Roberta Flack - "THE FIRST TIME EVER I FORGOT YOUR FACE"

Johnny Nash - "I CAN'T SEE CLEARLY NOW"

Paul Simon - "FIFTY WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LIVER"

Commodores - "ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES TO THE BATHROOM"

Marvin Gaye - "I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPE NUTS"

Procol Harem - "A WHITER SHADE OF HAIR"

Leo Sayer - "YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE NAPPING"

The Temptations - "PAPA'S GOT A KIDNEY STONE"

ABBA - "DENTURE QUEEN"

Elvis - HEARTBREAK HOSPICE

Dylan - LIKE A KIDNEY STONE

Queen - WE WERE THE CHAMPIONS

Beatles - WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY MEDS

Dion - LIMPAROUND SUE

The Rolling Stones - LIMPING-JACK FLASH

Tony Orlando - KNOCK THREE TIMES ON THE CEILING IF YOU HEAR ME FALL

Lesley Gore - IT'S MY PROCEDURE AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO

Maturity

You are marvellously mature when:

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is sitting on the terrace.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on holiday and your energy runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.