I am new to this site and so glad I found it! I came upon the section about if you have an alcoholic spouse, and I'm looking for some input.

My spouse is a successful, high-functioning alcoholic who adores me and seems to have a happy life. We have had many crises in the years we have been married, and we avoid dealing with our own problems in order to deal with these crises.

I was looking at this site to see how we can get our marriage back on track. I have attended Alanon in the past, and I have been practicing the "emotional detachment" that they prescribe for living with an alcoholic. This emotional detachment has provided my spouse with the perfect opportunity to drink, and nearly all of the drinking is done at home. I've simply been trying to take care of me...but I've found that I need more fulfillment in my marriage, and communication and honesty have ground to a halt.

This site says you can't work on a marriage without first dealing with the alcohol problem. Where do I go from here? What's the next step? I really want to work on this marriage, but everything does lead back to the alcohol problem...Does anyone have any recommendations for me?