Hi,

If you are willing, please consider participating in this survey on married sexual relationships. The survey consists of 12 questions where you select your answer from those provided and remain entirely anonymous.

Thank you.

PS--If you complete the survey and are willing, please post here that you have completed it so that it will be atop the forum for others to see. Thank you.

Tried it, and it timed out before accepting the survey.

Interesting survey. It actually touches on topics that I wish to have answers to as my two year marriage is a sexless one

Interesting survey. It actually touches on topics that I have in my two year marriage which is virtually sexless <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

i took the survey.

me too...depressing...

I guess that really summarizes why we're all here huh? well, many of us. i lived with my W for a year and then married her and have been married for 7 years.. Even when we lived together we had Sex less than 2 times a year...
Now 8 years later, I wonder why I don't care about this relationship much anymore.... She's never wanted me... Still doesn't.

Very sad.

I took the survey.

I took it. It is a pretty ho-hum survey.

Took it. Depressing no sex life... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Did it!

Done

Done.

I completed the survey. I thought there should be more options for negative feelings even when your spouse responds with participation. Sometimes it makes me nervous! It is depressing to read about so many people who have such infrequent sex, but at least I know I'm not alone!

Took the survey.
I wish my husband could take it too.
I'm the one who isn't giving him sex lately so I can only guess his answers if he did take this survey

I completed the survey. I wish sex wasn't so important in a marriage. It can make you feel so loved and desired one day, and yet can make you feel so unwanted and "ugly" the next. Complicated issue.

I took it. I agree with Happyfeet 100; I wish my husband would take it. I'm the one who isn't interested in sex, but I do it to pacify him. We have some kind of sexual relations almost every day. I just go along.

I wasn't always this way. I underwent treatment for breast cancer three years ago and it threw me into menopause early. It's supposed to be temporary, but I still have no libido. My doctor doesn't give much help -- just to be patient.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
MB

mockingbird, check out these three places

Breast Cancer Main Forum Index
http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php

Moving beyond cancer
http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthreads/postlist.php?Cat=0&Board=UBB7

I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthr...age=0#Post69566

The last address deals with libido and things to do so some of your libido comes back.


I completed the survey months ago. Sad so many people can give up sex when it is so important to the other spouse.

To the low drive spouse, if you only knew how rejected and lonely the higher drive spouse felt, you would have at least a minimum frequency and intensity you wouldn't go below.

I can work all week and look forward to 30 minuest of closeness, only to be told it's too warm, too cool, too late, too early, too, too, too. It wasn't too when the spouse asked me to do something for her.


Oh well givers and takers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Lou

Took the survey...depressing.... Am VERY interested in seeing the results at some point!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

done

i did it too

I took the survey - I'm not sure what the research aims to describe but it seemed very one-sided. It didn't really apply to me since between hubby and I, I'm the one with the lower libido. So he initiates sex most of the time since I never get a chance!

This caught my eye. Then I took the survey. Afterwards, I cursed the fact that this would even interest me - depressing to find myself found wanting for more. Oh well, I guess you can't have everything. Okay, I'm depressed now. At least we are not alone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I took it ~ wonder what my husband's answers would say. I'm indifferent to sex. I wish I liked it more.

I took the survey and would be interested in the results. I was the one less interested in sex until I discovered the affairs. Now I make sure we have sex at least 3 times a week. It's often more.

Done.
Now what?

I did it.

done the survey....
would like to see a compilation of results....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Me too.

It's hard to say whether I'm the less interested one. Lately I'm under so much stress I *am* less interested than I used to be. H has said he would like to have it more also, but when I offer, he usually says he is too tired too, or says we don't "have to." Maybe I should be more enthusiastic.

I took it.

My wife's the one with no interest in sex, as you can see in a topic I made only a few minutes ago.

I took the survey. It was pretty routine and no surprises. What is it for?

I took it also...no sex in our marriage either.

I took it. Wow, so many couples not having sex! My husband complains because he only gets it once a week. I need to bring him here, not that it would make him feel like having it less.

We've learned to "meet in the middle" so to speak. He would like to have it 2-3 times a week, I would be fine with once a month.

So, we "plan" for it at least once a week. I know planning sounds so un-romantic. But, with hubby working out of town Mon - Fri and I work a full-time job, raise our son, take care of the house(mowing, cleaning house, laundry, 3 dogs etc) while he's gone, I'm exauhsted (and so is he) by the time Saturday comes. But sex is his top emotional need....it's all he thinks about all week. It used to feel like another "chore" when he got home and that made me resentful. I've learned that I have to "get myself in the mood" by anticipating sex with him, (exotic novels have helped a little too) so that I can enjoy it and make him feel wanted. It's working for us right now.

I took the survey. It's amazing that I hear that it's the Husbands that want the sex and the wives that don't. I'm a wife that would happily make love with my husband every day.

He's suddenly become uninterested in sex and I don't know why!

depressing.

I took the survey.

When we first got married we often found that our sex life was the cause of conflict. He felt dis-satsfied with the frequency of our sex and I felt pressurised.

We didn't take too long to figure out that this conflict was overspilling into other areas of our marriage so we decided to re-evaluate the situation.

We both sat down and discussed how we were feeling. The bottom line was that he pressurised me because he was unhappy and felt unloved and I was turned off by the pressure and displayed this by deflecting his advances.

We managed to work through it (with a few hic-cups enroute) and decided that we both needed to put in some work on this. As soon as we started to make more of an effort I felt the pressure was lifted from my shoulders and the end result was that my level of desire for him shot through the roof.

The almost immediate result was that we now have a healthy sex life that both of us are more than happy with. Our intimacy levels and confidence in our relationship increased so dramatically that it took us both by surprise. All the little things that we used to fight over no longer seem to be issues and we talk to each other a lot more. We are both so much happier in our marriage and work so much better as a team now.

Sex is a very important part of a marriage and it is one of the things that make your relationship with your spouse so different from the relationships you have with very good friends. I am so pleased we took the time and the effort to resolve this conflict.

i took the survey. Eyeopener

I took the survey and it just confirmed that my H and I have same sex drive at this time in our marriage. I'm perimenopausal and always in the mood - thankfully my H is enjoying it too!

G

took it and no big surprises. been sexless around here since last February.

I noticed though this thread was started a LOONNNGGGG time ago so the survey has been up with no results sounds odd.

I took it but it doesn't really apply to my situation. My spouse would happily have sex every day--more than once a day, even. This has been an issue since the beginning of our marriage. I just can't keep up with that pace--I get stressed out about work and other life intrusions, I get tired, I have a hard time letting go of resentments and bad feelings from arguments. When we're emotionally connected, I can almost keep up with his pace. But when we're not--which is more often than not, I totally lose my sex drive and trying to explain this to him is fruitless.

"My spouse would happily have sex every day--more than once a day, even. ......When we're emotionally connected, I can almost keep up with his pace. But when we're not--which is more often than not, I totally lose my sex drive and trying to explain this to him is fruitless. "

I know exactly how you feel. At least once a day would have been great if he would have been willing to work on the relationship and keep the conntection going. What a shame, he'll never find what he's looking for because he always kills it before it really has a chance to get going good.

I am desperately trying to put sex back in my marriage. I try to get close to my husband so I can feel safe and wanted. He shuts me out and I just hate sex when I feel so disconnected from him. Its not loving making, there isn't any fun or talking...its just the act. The thing that men don't understand is when you won't share with us your feelings, hopes, worries etc., a lot of women feel disconnected. Sometimes I think during the act "I can be anyone". Sadly I can't even remember the last time we made love (as opposed to having sex). Physically the sex is good. I have no problem with my physical self enjoying it. But I feel somehow dirty when we are done. Is not satisfying.

I don't expect(or even want) passionate love-making every time. But after so long, it feels like two plastic blow-up dolls.

I have talked to my husband about this. He either doesn't understand or just feels its not worth it. Or at least that's how I see it.

I feel cheated out of something that could have been wonderful.

I would love some input from some men, if you would please be willing to help me out.

Thanks

Hi. I took the survey. Our sex life had dwindled from 4 to 5 times a week to once or twice a month. Now we are around 6 to 8 times a month.

did it! Where are the results?

I Took it , Thought maybe in would be more in depth.

Did the survey. It made me realise what a terrible state my relationship has been in for a long time.

I know about sexual disconnection and feeling like dirt afterwards.
Listen, I have kind of the same problem........ and ofcourse discussing it has been impossible........my solution? I am going to master all the confidence in the world plus a huge helping of self esteem, and the next time i sleep with my husband i will tell him exactly what i want him to do and i will go ahead and make bold moes towards him about what i would like to do to him too.
He is gonna put me down, say no, laugh in my face probably but... i refuse the hurt that's caused when he does all those things to get to me.
i will keep doing this time and again in the hope that he catches on.
My emotional need, is conversation and lots of communication so i feel you so i have decided to do something about it cos i love him.
Fail? I'll get back