Hey, Gnome, did I mention how insightful it is of both you and her to realize that dating you poses a challenge to her conception of herself?

Dating M has that affect on me, and effects some changes in my attitude. Because he is so different and the kind of man I should have been dating, just being around him challenges me to be a better person and to get rid of some negative thought and behavior patterns that have lingered from childhood and bad marriage.

Well, I'm not feeling so insightful at the moment. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

As it turns out (yeah, you called it, GG), she was ready for me to kiss her on Sunday, but...not tonight. She was feeling stressed from work and had a bit of a sore throat and...anyway, she wants to be able to appreciate our first kiss. So...

I cleverly did not set up a next date. That will give me an excuse to call her tomorrow.

Well Gnome, that's a bit of a disappointment. It sounds like your lady friend is cautious & practical. Hey, maybe next time she'll launch herself at you having had the time to mull over the possibilities of the kiss for a while. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

All this talk reminds me of all the work dating takes.

It's funny newly, it seems that while we want a relationship when we aren't in one, all the stuff we may encounter will be minor to deal with. Then, once we have the potential for a relationship, it seems like hard work.

Human nature to gloss over then find what we wanted difficult?

Nams, you and Newly are dead on. I just started dating someone I met online an we've been going out almost a month. It's the first person I've met that I really could see myself in a longterm situation.

Alas, the work involved in dating is intense. Its not so much the dates themselves, its the protocol. I'm always questioning myself on when I should call, how often I should try and see them, do they like me as much as I like them, etc. What I have learned after being divorced is that I'm quite gunshy compared to how I used to be.

She has already told me that I'm guarded. I'm worried that some of the damage from my marriage may be seeping through in how I relate to someone that I might be serious about. I try not to come across being needy and told her I wanted to take things slow. My biggest fear now is that I may come across as indifferent and not really interested in her.

Self doubts about being open enough coupled with my lack of understanding about what women want in the early stages of dating really make it tough on me.

Well, timn, forget about understanding what women want...

Seriously, take this at a pace that's comfortable for you & ask whomever you may be involved with what they are looking for & how they would like to see things proceed.

Having said that, I understand just what you're talking about. Who calls when? How many emails is too many? Plus, the inevitable fact of issues from the failed marriage showing up. I'm not sure that's a bad thing though...I like to think of that stuff as my brain & my emotions working to get me to pay attention.

There is an old slogan for Lay's Potato Chips which goes: "Betcha can't eat just one." Now, I don't have too much trouble with potato chips, but there are some other things I find it difficult not to go back for more of once I've partaken of that initial taste.

Things like...uh... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> ...Thin Mints Girl Scout cookies. Yeah...uh...that's what I'm talking about. Sure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

You dog!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

AGG

Thin Girl Scouts? GDP, I'm not sure but that may get you flagged on one of those uncover internet operations.

Er...dog? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Um...what does the dog have to do with it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Look, I'll admit that she caught the dog kissing me rather enthusiastically; but I swear I wasn't offering any encouragement! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> If she maybe got a little jealous and decided she wanted her own turn at...uh... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

What were we talking about? Oh yeah... Thin Mints cookies! Once the first has touched my lips, it seems nearly impossible to stop myself from going for the next one...

You know, there's really nothing I can say to that which doesn't call to mind the phrase "Anything you say can and will be used against you."

I thought she had one, didn't she? Or two? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Yeah, I know how that is <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />. Good boy!

AGG

Sorry, GDP. I was in a quirky to bizarre mood.

So exactly when do you see the girl scout, make that thin mint lady again?

GDP kissed her! GDP kissed her!

Please sir, I want some more.

GG, we've both got crazy schedules, so it seems like we're falling into a pattern of getting together on Sunday evenings, and trying to find another time to see each other during the week. It looks like we may be able to manage lunch on Friday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's probably a good thing that we can't see each other more often, just as a means of controlling pace in some ways. Of course, there's also e-mail and the phone. Last week I exceeded the anytime minutes on my cell phone account for the first time since...ever, maybe. So I switched to her provider. You gotta love unlimited mobile-to-mobile calling!

Did I say that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

OK, so what did you do that you want more of?

All right, I admit it! Lest more disturbing rumors get started. I kissed her! That's all! Well, we kissed each other. And there was some hugging involved. But that's all!

Yeah, I knew it. How nice for both of you. I guess this answers that nagging question of which category you were in, friend or potential other.

That's great! Enjoy!