I haven't posted very much... maybe it's the season. I have been married 22 years and this past summer found out my WH was having his 2nd affair in 5 years. Both A have been with co-workers. The first was with another manager. This one is with some one who he's boss too. Both have been with much younger women. We are both 45.
He's in love with this one (although he said same with the 1st). She is 29 amd in her 2nd marraige. This current M is just barely 3 years old. She is eparated and they are D. We are also separeted... I had told him he had to file because I won't do that. After our anniversary I finally filed. The thouht of him with her was driving me crazy.
It just hurts so much to have contact. Every time I begin to think I'm starting to heal something concerning the A is thrown in my face. It feels like a scab being ripped off a wound. He shows absolute;y no remorse. She spends nights with him out at the camp he's renting. I think she even brings her kids out there. Her 1st H is suing for custody of their D.
It's best for me to not see him... but we do ahve to talk about kids, finacial stuff. Would it make sense to send him a plan B letter. I don't think it would affect the outcome...it would just help me get thru this. It just hurts so much. I don't think I would take him back because of the way he was treating me prior to this. I just miss him and am so lonely. Does any of this make sense?
Thanks,
SH01
Me 45
WH 45
M 22 years together 27
3 kids DD19, DD16. and DS13
DD#1 10/13/01
DD#2 1/23/02
2nd A with MOW DD 8/16/06

OW is 29????? Sounds like a midlife crisis to me. Send Plan B letter soon. Post it here first.

Thanks beleiver for answering.
I really do think this is a MLC also, but do they ever wake up from this. I'm feeling really down and just miss my H so much. I don't miss the man he is right now. I just hate tearing my family apart.
I had to see him this morning at our DS hockey game.... why does my heart melt when I see him? I was so angry at him when I found out and I still get angry when he flat out lies about things. It really is a blow to have him leave all of us for a younger woman.
I think what really hurts the most is that he had sex with someone else. We used to be each others one and only. This was something I was always proud of.
I know I need to write a plan B letter... but do I tell him I don't really want this divorce, and I still love him. Everyone, even my kids will think I'm crazy. Or is it that I'm just remebering the good times and not how he has been treating me. I guess I just need a hug ( a real hug from someone), The kids hugs are nice but I do need something more. The last hug I got from him was this summer and it was pretty pitiful.
I'll have to think what I want to write and if I tell him my feelings. I'm afraid if I do it will just be something he can laugh about with MOW.
I just want to cry.
SH01