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WH: Can you send them out, please?
LS: --head toss, signaling, come on in--he does, and we stand there together in the back entry. I just look at him expectantly. Who won this BATTLE???? Do you feel the POWER??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> WH: Would you go get them for me, please?
LS: Why don't you come on in and get them yourself?
WH: My shoes are wet.
LS: No biggie, just wipe them on the rug. I don't care.
Go to the living room, where the boys are watching TV. The score is now 2-zip.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LS: (with a smile) Well, there's another alternative.
WH: (with a little laugh) yeah, I know. Were you speaking of reconciliation here? If you were, YOU GO, GIRL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> He is SMILING in reaction to your seductiveness..CREATING POSITIVE MEMORIES..GOOD STUFF!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> he didn't retreat or treat me coldly today, EXACTLY!! Now it's a GIVEN that he's coming in the house on the pickup...
Last edited by mimi1254; 12/22/06 10:43 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I must have missed something... Sis is nowhere near having sex with her H... I think you're close to a kiss on the lips, though.... JUST A PECK, MEDC...Don't get anxious... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Were you speaking of reconciliation here? If you were, YOU GO, GIRL!!! Of course I was... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I had a good teacher.
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Mimi, hon, my money is on WH hitting on his wife soon. His brain is getting mixed up. He just doesn't know it yet.
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Mimi, hon, my money is on WH hitting on his wife soon. His brain is getting mixed up. He just doesn't know it yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Mimi, hon, my money is on WH hitting on his wife soon. I know. Sis has me SPEECHLESS... SIS, OH SIS..(Mimi yelling) Are you there alone? Your chaperones are out here watching you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I don't know about your WH, but you are getting me turned on (then again, I haven't had sex in 5 months).
Keep up the good work. I can guarantee that would have an impact on me. I'm a guy, and we can't resist that for too long.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Jim: Hey, thanks. Problem is, you are not a crackhead junkie. Sorry. Get back to me when you CANNOT see things clearly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> mimi, et al: Yes, m'am! All present and accounted for. All clothing intact. No, WH did not come "watch a movie" after the kids went to bed. His loss. I'm with mimi. As much as I wish it weren't true, I don't see it coming. His brain has been so re-wired that my attempts so far have just interrupted a few itty bitty circuits. As LG said, I'm like his sister. (Ewww...) I'll keep working it, and having fun with it, but it's going to take a lot more time to get him to the point where he EAGERLY drops his drawers...cuz that's what we're talkin' about here, right? And besides...let's say he does hit on me, then he's just reverting to cake eating, right? Do I just pull a Neak and go all bathroom sinky? Not that there's anything wrong with it.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Actually, I like cake, and SF is a high need for WH too. So do I meet that need, even though it's cake eating? And as far as the health issues go, I'm certain he hasn't been with anyone other than ratturd (they're so in LOVE and all), and he was sleeping with both of us for two years, so I guess we already share the same...whatever. (let's all say GROSS together now) I'm just askin'. Be prepared and all. Back to Operation Christmas Eve. So I spent some time on the phone with MIL tonight. She talked to FIL and he thinks it's a wonderful idea to have me come and is TOTALLY for it. I thought FIL would be a tougher nut to crack. Probably he would do anything to avoid a Hungry Man frozen dinner for his Christmas feast. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> FIL is going to talk to WH, though, before we settle this up. Which I believe, quite honestly, is the respectful thing to do, and quite in line with Plan A. Imposing myself, or showing up where I'm not at all wanted would engender a negative reaction (defensiveness, I'm manipulative, using the kids, etc.), not the postive ones we are looking for. IMHO. If WH caves, and "lets" FIL invite me, then I can proceed to totally knock his socks off, as per the expert instruction I have received here. If he puts up a stink about me coming, then I guess it's up to FIL to make the call since it's his house. Maybe FIL will invite me anyway and I can still knock WH's socks off in spite of himself. Maybe FIL will say it's not a good idea for fear of a scene on Christmas Eve, and WH will be the bad guy to everyone AGAIN, disappointing his dad, leaving me out in the cold, and denying his kids a half-way normal Christmas Eve. Given the recent cordial interactions between WH and me, however, he doesn't really have cause to say I'm going to LB all over him, so the only reason to deny me coming to Christmas Eve is because he's SCARED. His claim that it will give the kids the "wrong idea" is just patently ridiculous--not to him of course--but his dad won't buy it. No matter what, having FIL/MIL push this means that WH can't turn it on me and make it my fault...wait a minute, did I just say that?? Of course it can be my fault. It can be my fault that the sky is blue according to a cracked out WH. What's odd is that I can barely let myself hope. As soon as I think something good is going to happen to this situation, it gets blown out of the water and something worse happens. I think everything is jinxed, that the other shoe is going drop at any second, that there's something over my shoulder. That's a PTSD response, isn't it? Thanks for all the laughs tonight. You guys crack me up. LS
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"What's odd is that I can barely let myself hope. As soon as I think something good is going to happen to this situation, it gets blown out of the water and something worse happens. I think everything is jinxed, that the other shoe is going drop at any second, that there's something over my shoulder. That's a PTSD response, isn't it?"
LilSis - Yep, we know exactly how you feel, and it is perfectly normal. Give this some time - remember that you tilled the garden, planted the seeds, and are waiting for your crop.
Hang in there, and let yourself hope.
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You never know for sure what will happen from one moment to the next. One night, I was driving then-WH home from work late, and ran through a memory litany of some of the good times we had shared. This was early on, when he was still being completely cold and indifferent to me. For some reason, most of the good memories seemed to involve sex in diverse places. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> When we got home, he rushed me into the bedroom and proceeded to knock my socks off, the first time he had shown ANY affection whatsoever since the whole thing started. And then he immediately reverted to cold for a while yet. It wasn't until after he ...almost... broke up with her after the first time they rutted that he became regularly affectionate with me, and returned to ILY's, etc. Then once he did, he would waffle between loving and insanely hateful. Some ride! I can guarantee you have piqued his interest. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />fabric softener<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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And besides...let's say he does hit on me, then he's just reverting to cake eating, right? Do I just pull a Neak and go all bathroom sinky? Not that there's anything wrong with it.... You may not have noticed yet but this is a CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC around here...so let's talk when and if the time comes.... Actually, I like cake, and SF is a high need for WH too. So do I meet that need, even though it's cake eating? And as far as the health issues go, I'm certain he hasn't been with anyone other than ratturd (they're so in LOVE and all), and he was sleeping with both of us for two years, so I guess we already share the same...whatever. (let's all say GROSS together now) I'm just askin'. Be prepared and all. I'll go ahead and say that MY THINKING was EXACTLY like YOURS and yes I allowed plenty of CAKE. Be prepared for dissenting views on this. I don't want this discussion to get you off course because you are doing SOOO WELL and this might be best left to when the time comes for you if ever. I answered because you were wondering... Even if you don't go to the Xmas dinner, the support from your ILs is bound to have some effect on your H. What's odd is that I can barely let myself hope. ACCEPT TODAY BUT NEVER GIVE UP HOPE FOR THE FUTURE!! When that thought comes to mind, reach for your Bible....Trust in the LORD with all your heart...HE is working this out for you...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Ahhh....caffeine. My warm, comforting, energizing friend.
Thanks for your input, mimi. That's what I was looking for. I agree it's not something that I need to worry about now--focus on continuing what I've been doing--but with all the banter and teasing, I thought I should know what the consensus is (of which there apparently is none).
The conclusion I'm coming to is that--in all things--we do what is right for us, given who we are and our unique situations. So I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it (assuming I get to the bridge), and concentrate on showering WH with affection, admiration, being fun and flirty and light and unpredictable. My confidence is growing by leaps and bounds. My prayer now is that this continues...setbacks suck. A lot hinges on getting that invite for Christmas Eve...if it doesn't come, I know I'll feel defeated. Yes, support from the ILs is great and all, but it doesn't give me face time w/ WH.
But anyway, my new friend Confidence told me to run to the store and get all the items I need to make MIL's traditional Christmas Eve casserole and dessert. Even though I don't have the green light yet, Confidence said that doesn't matter, because the green light IS forthcoming, dammit! Confidence also told me to buy myself a thong (or two?) so that I don't have to keep going commando, but close enough. (Confidence might have heard that from someone here....)
There's a store call Priscilla's down the street from the grocery store. I've never been in, but I think it's a chain...? From the outside, it looks to be a couple of steps down from Victoria's Secret (okay maybe a whole flight down). WH bought me my little blue friend there, and I know VS doesn't sell little blue friends. But VS would require a trip to the mall (perish the thought of going THERE today!), so maybe I'll check out Priscilla's and see if they have anything tasteful. I'll need something sexy to wear SOMEDAY, either with a FWH or someone better.
For God's sake, I'm only 38. I'm just hitting my prime, and this is the new and improved LilSis. This LilSis isn't afraid or embarrassed to go into a store that sells little blue friends and has black leather bustiers in the window. This LilSis has been to jail, been cheated on, and has a criminal record! (I should write a country song.) What's left to be afraid of? Who the he11 cares what anyone else thinks?
TTYL.
LS.
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LS... You don't KNOW WH has not been screwing someone else... you assume it and are most likely right. I can go with that assumption.
What you really should not assume is the the ho is not screwing anyone else. I mean your H was getting it from at least two... why not her...
You will figure this all out... but I hope you do so ahead of time so you don;t get caught up in a moment should it arrive. Condoms... 6.75 for a 12 pack... I hope you get to use them all!
As far as Christmas Eve... great job.
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The guys are STILL checking out this thread?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Thanks MEDC. Maybe Priscilla's sells condoms, too, so I don't have to get them at Meijers where I recognize all the checkout people since I'm there about every other day. (So I guess I'm not quite as brave as I was pretending.)
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The guys are STILL checking out this thread?? Yep... logic and reason needs to come from somewhere! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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Yep... logic and reason needs to come from somewhere Truer words were never spoken. You do realize that you are taking your life in your own hands by posting that....
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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You will figure this all out... but I hope you do so ahead of time so you don;t get caught up in a moment should it arrive. Condoms... 6.75 for a 12 pack... I hope you get to use them all! Mimi, wiping brow... MEDC. We are most definitely IN AGREEMENT on this statement. Happy Holidays to you. I really admire your choice of foster-adoption. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Confidence also told me to buy myself a thong (or two?) so that I don't have to keep going commando, but close enough. (Mimi, whispering to be PC for the "boys") My FWH hates thongs...but, of course, he is OCD about stuff like that..cleanliness, health issues and all...my reason for having judged him to be safe..like you say, "WE DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR US".... You might think about getting the undies that he likes... Brazilian bikinis anyone? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />..just keeping it LIGHT for Saturday morning...I'm getting into the Spirit...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I really admire your choice of foster-adoption. thank you.
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thongs... yuck! the more boxer looking undies on a girl... I think they call them boy shorts... now that works... thongs just seem so 80-90's. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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