Ok, Athanasius.

I know now. You're Joel Osteen.

That's what I'm here for. Nothing would piss OW off more than if WH is too preoccupied w/ LilSis to have a romantic evening with her. At that point she'll realize that she doesn't have control of WH. I'm sure a b!tch like that won't be able to control all those LBers. Maybe WH might even start to see her for what she truly is. This will be the turning point, guaranteed. It's like Washington crossing the Delaware on Christmas. The infidels won't know what hit 'em.

LilSis:

Sorry about the case. Didn't realize the outcome was so close, and already fixed.

Make sure the WH has to watch/pick up/monitor/take care of the kids. Drag out the time on that day so that he is AWARE of what is happening. You need to do it alone. I do not think, even if he offers, that you should let him go with you. Unless, others here think that it will create great turmoil in WH. Keep a journal of your thoughts about this judical process. You might find much enlightenment from it later.

Call your WH's Supervisor and ask if WH is scheduled to work on Valentine's Day. (Whether he is working of not, tell the supervisor that you are planning a surprise for WH, so do not spoil it with WH, OK) Then make appropriate plans. I.E. Make sure HE has the kids. That's a LB from RT for sure. You be gone from 3:00 to 9:00pm so that the "Best Time" is taken. If he leaves you and kids, it will be late, and RT will be waiting, waiting. You can be late in returning as well. RT is waiting, waiting, LB's are growing.... Set something up with your employer, or doctor, etc. for a meeting that gets you out of the house and under cover. Plan now to succeed later. Co-ordinate with SIL to insure that WH just doesn't dump your children there.

Then you can deliver the PBL. If it is warranted.

JMHO

LG

And the 14th is on a Wednesday, the day that RT's STBX has the kids, so WH and RT will most certainly have plans. I have a meeting on the night of the 13th, so WH will have the boys. I can deliver it that night when I return from my meeting. You all have plenty of time to school me on how that's done, though.

Just had to leave a VM to ask WH about his plans for the boys tomorrow. This is a follow-up to an email I sent yesterday asking if he could pick them up after school...he never answered.

(sigh)

Screw the cookies. I don't feel like making him his favorite cookies tonight. I'll grit my teeth and do a rose thing tomorrow morning, but I'm not feeling it, people.

this is your TAKER trying to get YOUR needs met

go do something sweet for her

or
exercise

or pray

Thanks, pep. Really...I mean it. You gave me permission to feel this way, and for some reason I needed that.

Reminds me of something MIL said to me once on one of my darkest days. I was out of town and called her crying...I told her all I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, and didn't know how to stop. She told me to imagine being outside myself, looking at my crying self curled up there in a ball. What would I do for me? Of course, I would go comfort that curled up, sobbing me. I would hold myself and say, there, there, you'll be okay. I'm here. Shhhh.

That curled up, sobbing me is lovable and deserving of compassion. Why was I--am I--so incapable of feeling the compassion for myself that I would feel for anyone else?

because you're perfect ... remember?

how's that journaling assignment going?

Pep <~~ le'nag

DANG! You catch me every time! Even when I don't catch myself.

It's sooo ingrained...I don't even recognize it. Ugh.

it's OK

took me a long time to kill off my "trooper"

may she RIP

I killed off my inner Pollyanna too, by the way ... she was a real PIA

have a good nite sweetie

Pep

When you get a spare moment Pep, I could certainly use your Pollyanna exorcism recipe.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Not me I'm good to go.

Morticia needs the occasional oust though...got any recipes for her?

Miss Pollyanna ~~~> is the queen of bloated expectations

start there

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Gettin tired of roses with no buds, are ya? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

BWHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"If FWSs knew what was lurking in the minds and hearts of their BSs most of the time they'd never sleep unarmed.
-Noodle"

WT...? <gulp>

Noods,

Is that the Morticia you speak of?

I know it's a several weeks off but instead of Plan B on Feb 13th I think you could consider Feb 16th.

On Wed. Feb 14th...throw a joint birthday party for MIL and yourself (with MIL cooperation). That way...WH is torn. His conflicted loyalties to you, OW and Mother are ALL in a tizzy.

He may or may not show up...but Plan B will give you peace shortly thereafter.

If you Plan B on Feb 13 it likely won't have much effect by Valentines Day. Waywards often initially feel relief in Plan B. They THINK they've gotten what they wanted. It usually takes a few days or several weeks for them to finally realize how excruciating Plan B is for them.

Why give WH and OW peace on Valentines Day? That would be a gift to the affair. Instead...go for conflict by creating conflict. Let OW LB.your husband over plans. Come up with a good excuse in advance for having it on Wednesday/Valentine's Day (i.e. - Thursday was no good, and the weekend was tied up). OW will see right through it but husbands (especially WH's) will be oblivious to the deceptive nature of the "party".

Get planning.

Just an idea.

Mr. Wondering

Hi Mr. W ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sis' MIL lives far away, as will her FIL too very soon.

Jo

PEP..A REFORMED POLLYANNA????..OMG!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

ASSIGNMENT FOR FRIDAY: PLAN A TALK ONLY!!!

Plan A assignments for the day:
1. Get a rose after I drop the kids off. Serepticiously (can say it, can't spell it) go by ILs to stick the rose on the window of WH's truck. Card, no card? if yes, include a picture of he and I? Advise, please.

2. Send an email from work first thing. "I told the boys that you would be picking them up this afternoon, so I hope that works for you. Could you please confirm with me? Thanks. {this will be the THIRD request} I'm at work today...this time I'm thinking about that time ______ (fill in some romantic interlude). Love always, me" Remember, he used to ask if I ever thought about that stuff while at work.

3. Assuming he DOES pick up the kids, stop by after my meeting with their overnight stuff and to give them hugs and kisses. Tell him I've got a roast in the crockpot (one of his FAVs) and ask if he and the boys would like to join me. Or maybe the roast should be for Saturday or Sunday? Might work better...advise please.

Again...not quite feeling it this morning...maybe the coffee will help. As Pep said, my taker needs a boost. And the thing is, I've been getting a fairly good response from him...all these poor posters who get an emotional kick in the face every day. How can they possibly do it?? That is true strength, so admirable.

For me, it must be the image of them together on Weds. (didn't see them this time, but I KNOW that's their day). WH getting his crack fix and then so high he can't even bother to contact me about picking up the kids.

At first, "bloated expectations" didn't quite capture Pollyanna for me...but after thinking about it...TOTALLY captures it!

MY inner Pollyanna: Everything will be wonderful (if I'm perfect enough, that is), everything should go a certain way that is right and good, and every day should be sunshine and roses. If those truisms don't pan out, or if I'm not "feeling it" on a particular day, that will be 30 lashes with the psychic whip. I am NOT ALLOWED to have a bad day, be crabby, or lose faith for even a moment (even during PMS)

Pep: I printed your instructions for my journaling assignment next to my bed and intended to begin last night, but fell asleep reading the Bible. But I will get started right away, because you know I MUST get an A+ on this assignment. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

50 mg Zoloft qid