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#1790475 12/17/06 10:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2
C
Junior Member
Junior Member
C Offline
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2
Heres my story..
one day my husband called and asked me if i had seen a password written on a piece of paper on his dresser...well i looked and i didnt find it. but there was so much paperwork under the dresser in ashoe box that I decided to look there..i had noticed this stuff there from when he cleaned all his stuff off the ship but hadnt really looked at it. I figured it was nothing. Haha was i wrong. In looking in this box I found paper work and pictures of a child and paper work relating to his givingup all rights to his child. There were letters from his 'affair" and pics from the woman of his child. In another folder I foundmore pics of a woman and her panties and an email that he had saved from another woman that he had had an affair with after the first one was over..apparently the second one was just too good for him to resisst. SHe told him that the first woman was no good for him. The first woman was sending my husband letters threatening to tell me and his parents regarding his lack of interest in his child. I found out that after the affairs were over he did give up custody of child and the first affairand her husband got back together. My husband signed papers saying he would give up all rights to that child. I guess he was so stressed by allthis that he just had to go outand have another affair to deal with it? I dont know, Ive asked him and he just says that the second woman told him what I said earlier that the first woman was not good enough for him and since they (she and him), were both having probs in their marriages..that they decided to sleep together. I really dont remember any problems at that time in our lives. Our sex life has always been good and if we had any problems they were of the minor types..like fights about money, or his drinking a bit too much at times, or spending a lot of time at work..(he was in the navy at the time). But i never never suspected he was unhappy or would have an affair. That kind of stuff only happened to other people..and I never thought my lovingloyal husband would do anything like that. I guess i see now how naive I was..even though i am 9 years older than him.
After finding out all this I was in deep shock for a whiel and thought of leaving him or committing suicide. I woudl never committ suicide but I did think of it. I realized he wasnt worth it.But he has said he is sorry and that he chose me...he didnt want to give up his family to be with her and that he was stupid for doing allthat and hurting me.
I cant seem to get it all out of my head. I think of what a fool i was to believe him all this time. And I think of how long he kept this secret (13 years)and lied to me. Makes me think our whole life has been a lie. It makes me sick to think of it.
He wants to try to make it work but I do keep bringing it up when IM mad and of course that doesnt make anything better but I am so hurt by all of this. I told him that this time he needed to get counseling for us but he hasnt done anything at all, so that makes me think that he doesnt care and just wants it all to go away. I know it wont and will only get worse. What should I do to make him see that this time he needs to make things happen and make things right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


Cat
Cat99 #1790476 12/20/06 04:45 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
S
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S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Cat, I'm sorry no one has responded.

Please consider cutting/pasting this over on the General Questions II forum. There are 10x more people over on it, than here.


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***

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