I mean he really isn't filing a police report, he can't get you for slander (because it's true), and he is just threatening you to get you off his back. It is a complete bluff.

Call your lawyer and get him to send the OM a letter. That should put some scare into him. Ask your lawyer what could be put in the letter.

I don't have the original copy of the letter I gave him, but I basicaly told him that I didn't appreciate what he did and that it wan't very good business practice to show your customers pictures of your penis. I told him that it worried me that there are guys out there like him because I have two young daughters of my own and I have to try and protect them from such things. It was very tactful and I think I got my point across rather well.
I kind of thought that maybe I would get an apology from him, instead I got this email. (I will post it shortly)

Don't let that POS affect you in any way.

Email: Your Letter and Pictures

Comments: Please do not contact me or my partners in any way, shape or
form. I will be filing a P.P.O. with ****** monday morning, after
making a statement with the ******* Police Dept against yourself,
and
I will be giving them your home and work information, as advised by
friends and members who are ******* Police
officers.

Seeing your previous communications and by coming to *******
LLC,
a company that I co-own, you are scaring me.

I sat down with my attorney this past week, and all you need to know is
that slander is illegal.

If you attempt to contact myself, my partners, my employees, and or
make
any statement, verbal, written, or electronic, that may be slanderous
in
any way, shape or form towards *********LLC, including its
partners, I will seek further action.

You do not have pictures of me.

Being a police officer in my previous life tought me many things, and
made
me many friends. The first thing I was tought was documentation.
The reason I chose to go with iserv as an e-mail account is its
archiving
ability. I have every e-mail I have ever sent and received since 2000.

My IT rep set up the ******* Police Dept Intranet systems.

You are not getting the whole story, most people don’t tell you the
whole
truth because it makes themselves look bad.

I never touched your wife. She was the one to try and climb on me and
wanted a kiss in the office after going over a body fat and nutrition
consultation. I stood up, held her arms length distance from me and
told
her to please stop, and opened the door so she would be seen, and so
she
would stop.
I told her way too much about my personal life and she wanted to be the
women I was having problems with and could not get rid of. I have every
e-mail from her to prove this.
I would receive e-mails constantly, sometimes 20-30 in one day from her
work and home addresses, containing perverted stories and pictures with
her, her new shave, and her black toy, and she would become enraged
when I
wouldn’t respond.

I have the emails where I explained to her that I wanted nothing to
with
married women, and or members of my club and her e-mail responses to
those
emails containing pictures of what she was wearing!?!?!

She told me about you cheating on her, and I told her she needed to do
what she needed to do, but it wasn’t going to happen here, and she got
mad, then asked where then, and then became even more mad at no
response.



She told me about a mis-carried child and I told her I had lost a
daughter
as well.
Your wife knew I use to be a male dancer and I did not tell her, my
pictures are still up at ******, and one of my trainers also still
works
there. Ask her about that...

What your wife does not know is that I have distinctive moles and only
one
testicle, I lost it when I was less than a year old when my father
kicked
me across the room because I was crying while he was beating my mother.
Only a handful of people know this about me, including my best friend,
and
business partner, *******. He happens to be the same guy who
walked
into my house the day I decided to find out what a gun tastes like and
ate
all the chicken I had grilled earlier that day!!!

Please check your facts and your wife, before WE continue any further
with
this.

I am very sorry for your situation, and I will help you in any way
possible.

You need to know from the get go, your wife was bent on getting revenge
on
you!!!


This was his reply to me. How can he say it is slander when it was just a personal note from me to him. I didn't tell anyone else about it. I amnot going tolet him intimidate me. I know that I did the right thing. Why can't a guy stand up and fight for his marriage?

SO now I have to determine who is telling the truth here. Him or my W. I want to believe my W, that's for sure. So right now I'm going to believe her. She admits that she was guilty of flirting and sending only a few emails. But she swears that it was him who initiated the whole thing by showing her the things that he did.
God, does it ever get better? Everyday it seems like something new blows up in my face.

Tell him, first of all, I never cheated on my wife (if that is true). Then if what he is telling you is true, please forward the emails that you spoke of to me, so I can verify what you are telling me.

Emailing him is not harassment as he could easily block your address out. Ask him for the proof and thank him for his cooperation.

Unfortunately I am a FWH. In fact, I remember asking her when I first found out about the PA if it was a revenge affair. She told me no. Mine was 12 years ago and I think we recovered ok. She told me that she felt left out and wanted to see what it was like to have an affair. She says that now she realized that it was a mistake. Now I'm dealing with this other jerk. I so want to not believe the things that he wrote me. I want to believe my W. I hate this. Oh, and I did ask him if he would send me some of the emails. I doubt he will though. Oh well, maybe that's for the better.

Oops - got you mixed up with someone else. Sorry.

I am sorry you are going through this but I do seriously worry about the effort and detail OM went into to tell his story. Sounds as if he had given this a lot of thought. I truly hope your W (WW?) is telling the truth, but I am concerned enough to worry.

You need to keep your guard up.......

I think the fog is really starting to lift! She has begun to really open up to me. She has been really apologizing to me lately and telling me that she is really starting to realize all the pain that she has caused me and how terrible she feels. I know that it probably doesn't sound nice, but I am really loving it. Although I hate to see her crying it does feel pretty good though.

O.k. here's the scoop. I have been racking my brain about who I really believe about this latest incident. I wonder if I should just trying to quit worrying who is telling the truth. I want to believe her because Ilike her story better. I don't want to believe him because that story hurts more. Somebody is not telling the truth. My question is should I just try to forget about who started it? Either way it happened I suppose. It's just hard for me to picture my wife throwing herself at this guy. I don't know.
I also called my doctor today and am getting prescribed some anti-depressants. She offered them to me the first time that I told her about my situation back in Dec. but I told her that I didn't need them. Now though, I think that I am willing to try them. Is that bad? Am I a failure because I now think I need drugs? I told my W last night that I decided that I was going to try them She cried because she said that she is to blame for everything and hated that I had to try medication for what she did.

I think it is a good idea to just let the past die right now. What was done is history right now.

Geting AD does not make you a failure. This may verywell be the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life and it was not your choice. It is hard and getting AD helps for some. I have read many times that you may need to change the type of AD you take unitl you find the one that works best for you. Your Dr. will know that though.

"She cried because she said that she is to blame for everything and hated that I had to try medication for what she did"

GOOD - she is feeling the blame and heat for her actions. She sees that it was not just a love story, but a real life hurting she put on you.

I would not bother talking to OM right now. Work on your M from today on and spend lots of time with your wife. Grow back together.

Tomorrow she agreed to go with me to the doctor to see her about my AD. She is also going to get a lab slip for STD. Things are going good today. Here is what she wrote me about going to the dr with me:
I just feel that if you were with me then we can show her a united front. That we are working on things it is just a hard road and we have been through this before. ****** I'm gonna cry.....

I should have known better, I am an awful person. I should be stoned to death or flogged.....there has to be more of a punishment for what I did.....

So this is good.

Going to the Dr together is great. Get tested.

your wife:
"I should have known better, I am an awful person. I should be stoned to death or flogged.....there has to be more of a punishment for what I did....."

here's a hint - my wife said things like this a few weeks before she broke down and the fog cleared.

Try to be there for her as much as you can right now. Take her out to eat. Let her know that she is still a good person and she just did a bad thing. You can talk in detail about it later. Don't pile on anymore right now. She is cracking and any more pressure might make up clam up.

Overall a good day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the reply. I already got tested and am awaiting results. She has been just ignoring it, but now is going to do it for me. I'm so glad I see some light at the end of the tunnel. I know there will surely be some bad days also, but I will do my best to continue to do what I am doing. I do tell her that she is a good person who just made some bad decisions. I am filled with enthusiasm. The only problem is me keeping my bad thoughts in check. It still hurts so much.

You should post to Chicagodad, he is in about the same time frame you are. He has the same feelings, thoughts and questions as you. It helps to have a partner post to talk to.

Good for you. Remember, you are not completely out of the woods just yet. Don't push things too fast. She is really starting to come out of the fog right now, so don't rock the boat, let her come out of it at her pace. When things have settled down, you need to get to MC. Don't let your M slip back to the way things were. Build a new M and learn from your past mistakes. Good luck to both of you.

She's opening up to you now. This is a great thing. Keep loving her and she should come around!

Today we went to the dr together. It went rather well. I got a prescription for Xanax(sp) I think. I don't know if I'll use it or not. SOmetimes I feel ok, sometimes I am depressed. My std results were all negative, so that's good. My wife got a slip for some lab work for her STD too. So that is real good too. About the best thing that happened was that our dr addressed my W alcohol problem. SHe admitted that she indeed thought that she had a problem. The dr refered her to some AA classes. I am so thankful that she admitted her problem. I hope she carries thru with it though. SO it feels like at least we are starting to take some baby steps to recovery.
I am biting my tongue from questioning her more about my last fiasco with this guy who tried to intimidate me with his email to me.
Do you think that I should try to get my wifes emails from him that she sent him or should I just let it go. Do you think that maybe sometime in the future I can ever get the truth about what really happened? Thanks.
Jim